No, I think she is just trying to avoid intimacy, for whatever reason. When she wants to punish me, she's much more obvious. She usually does this by trying to humiliate me, for example, by continuing to verbally berate me until I do something like agree that I'm worthless. I don't buy into this anymore, although she still tries. Sometimes, she just looks at me with them 'angry eyes.'
I used to think she punished me by not having sex with me, but that's been going on so long that my mantra has become, "what's she going to do, cut me off?"
I think she has somehow convinced herself that there is no way she agreed to one night a week of physicality with me. Just didn't happen.
I would tell her since monday nights are not good for her and you have already set aside some time on monday nights that this may be a good boys night time for you. This sould be win win for you both she can have her rest time and you can have some QT with your adult friends.(I know that is not what your aim is). If she did not like a lunch with your friends I doubt she would like nights out with them either.
my H asked me last night when I prefer--mornings, afternoons or nights. I thought about it a minute and then gave him the answer he was surely dreading: "any of them, really, H". lol
I like it when you take it when you want it without worrying about weather I am ok with it.
Why are you worried about when I want it? Dont you know when you want it?
HD, once again she exposes her intelligence and intuitiveness. She is feeling guilty, but still needing to 'test' this new HD.
What would a ballsy guy who doesnt care about getting some say to this. How can you verbalize her inner voice to let her know you arent fooled and dont care, that it is her loss?
No anger, disapproving is ok.
It is her loss. No lowering yourself, no supplicating. You are doing damn good, she feels the need to justify her actions and it is on her mind A LOT.
Getting some weird vibes from her. Last night she was sitting next to me on the couch(as usual, watching some stupid tv show) when she turned her body toward mine, kissed me, and said "I love you. I want you to know that. I get the feeling that you haven't been feeling very loved lately."
Isn't it sad that, during this loving gesture by her, all I could see was red flags? Red flags: 1. If I answer "yes," she says something about how she gives and gives and nothing is good enough for me. 2. If I answer "yes," she says I lack self esteem and that I still have work to do on myself. 3. If I answer, "no," she says something about knowing what I'm thinking better than I do.
Meanwhile, I am also thinking about pulling her toward me and kissing her again, yet, from past experiences in situations similar to this (where she faces me on the couch, kisses me and says something serious, and I try to kiss her), I suspect that my advances will be thwarted, with a comment like, "why do you always do that?"
I finally said something like, "I'm fine. I know you love me. I love you, too."
As for letting her know that I think she's full of it regarding our Monday night experiment, part of me just wants to wait until the MC appointment next Monday. I know she'll just continue to deny that being physical was ever a part of the plan, and, unless she hears it from the MC, there's little wiggle room there.
But yes, blackfoot, part of me wants to look her in the eye and say, "you can tell me that your recollection of the 'Monday night' conversation at the MC office was just about turning off the television, but I think you're either fooling yourself, or you think I'm too weak to stand my ground. If you're fooling yourself, you need to figure out why. If you think I'm too weak to stand my ground, you're wrong. Either way, your actions aren't supporting the marriage."
As I said, however, I strongly suspect that a statement like that will just cause her to dig her heels in further, even if she is proven wrong at the MC's office. Heck, it's only five days away. I can wait.
Chrissy: good idea, but I really have no desire to go out with the boys at 9pm on Monday night. Most of my male friends, like me, have to get up early, have kids, and just aren't available.
Thanks for those potential responses, Blackie. Unfortunately, he wasn't asking me because he truly wanted to know my answer; he was trying to prove that there isn't a "time" in the day that works for both of us. He can't stay awake at night and I do not like mornings. I have, however, given the green light for mornings but so far he has not taken me up on that, except for weekends.
We did used to do it a lot in early evening, before we had kids who are awake at this hour. I'm sure that we will fall back into this mutually satisfying pattern as soon as our kids are grown.
I do the same thing that I think you are doing........ over analizing the situation. I have finally stopped doing that and just say what I feel, with the exception of, if its something I know will hurt his feelings really bad. Seems to me she KNOWS that calling off the Monday nights all the time was wrong. Maybe the kiss last night was her way of trying to make up for it? Even though we all know that ain't gonna do it
When she says something like that why not just simply say "thanks"? It acknowledges what she said to you....but doesn't leave room for her to battle with you about it.
Believe me I understand the red flags....I'm seeing them all over the place with my H right now as well.
) 
