Quote: I can say if I had responded that way, she would have clammed up and not said a word to me until I apologized.
Apologized for what? Actually, I thought my W owed ME an apology, but I hate asking for apologies. And her behavior after the altercation, was enough for me. The thing was, I did this all without getting ANGRY and LOUD. I was still upset about what she said, but I acted in a calm manner.
"Apologized for what? Actually, I thought my W owed ME an apology, but I hate asking for apologies. And her behavior after the altercation, was enough for me. The thing was, I did this all without getting ANGRY and LOUD. I was still upset about what she said, but I acted in a calm manner."
Don't get me wrong HD. I think you did the right thing. I am just relating how my W would have reacted. She knows that even if she is in the wrong, all she has to do is clam up for a few days and I'll start apologizing. It is a fault of mine that I am trying to work on.
BTW, I am the same way, I get embarrased by apologies. I don't go looking for them. I'd rather the matter just get dropped and we move on. Maybe that is faulty behavior on my part?
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
You made your point without rubbing her nose in it. Yeah, I think she owed you an apology, but you held your boundary and you let it go. By not engaging with you and turning the conversation chatty, I think it was her way of conceding you the point.
Someday, she may learn to apologize without feeling threatened. Maybe not. But, by God, you shut her down, and to me, that would be every bit as good as an apology. At least for now.
Chromo, your wife knows you will crack. She does not respect you because of it.
Your apologies for nothing are killing you. I dont care if she freezes you out for a month. Do not cave. She has your number, and it is to her and your R detriment. Its usually not intentional, its just the nature of animal.
Thanks for the cheering, Blackfoot, and thanks for dropping in, Corri. I hate to jinx things by saying that it's a turning point, but her behavior does seem to have changed, slightly. Now, the key is to be consistent. No backsliding.
How was your Monday night last night, or did you take a rain check (and I mean that literally--wasn't it lovely last night!) so you could take the kiddies out?
(Thanks annette!) HP: When W got in with DD4 after an hour an a half of socially acceptable begging for cavity-promoting corporate products, and after DD4 was in bed, W said, "Monday nights just don't work for me. In fact, 'nights' just don't work. I'm exhausted. Maybe some other night, but not Monday."
I didn't even go into the fact that I think her idea of what we're supposed to do on these "nights" is wrong, because I think it's easier to just take it to the MC next Monday. Plus, she was pretty exhausted after hauling DD4 around all night. I haven't given up, just decided to defer.
As for the weather here, it rained during the day but the night was beautiful, and cool, and we definitely made a net profit on the candy. And isn't it great having all that crap around to snack on?
