Yup, that's why it's called Positive Mental Attitude.
So, I did something unusual for me. I was bummed all day, no good morning call from H, I know the message he is sending me. Ouch. So, I called my cell and let it go to voice mail, just in case he checks phone records. Then I sent him a txt messge, sorry I missed your call, did your bag come in yet? he txted back a while later but never mentioned the call he never made. I wonder if he's wondering? his calls, as well as OW's, comes up as restricted number and don't show up except as a missed call but don't stay in the phone log. I feel guilty, but I'll get over it.
Okay, now I'm off to the dentist. They called with a cancellation and can take me today. Wonderful.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
If he thinks you are jerking him around and playing games, well, I just don't see a way that that is going to help your situation. You've been seeing some progress lately. Remember, he *did* sleep in your bed a couple of times, he cried that other night when you were hurting, some of the stuff has slowly started to move from the trailer(?).
You know the old nugget about how it is easiest to backslide when you start to see some progress because you start pushing a little? This sounds like pushing to me. Plus some of the text messages and the thing about putting a picture in his bag and spraying perfume on his stuff.
Please, be careful.
If you need a good morning text message then post your phone number and bigAl and I will send you some.
Isn't this the game of life? Can't I bend the rules or make them up to suit me? I know, you're so right. I'm just bugged, gotta get the fly swatter.
And thank you for putting a positive spin on all those comments for me. He has slept in our bed a few times instead of 'all the nights he hasn't slept in our bed.' He cried too instead of 'he hurt me and made me cry'. Some of the stuff has slowly moved from the trailer instead of 'all the stuff he keeps in the trailer.' You are so right, I have to look at the positive side of things.
I posted this earlier on Hopeful_Future page
Quote: My H said nothing, until I finally got a few bits and pieces on the trip to the airport. Yes, I feel the same thing as you, is the real reason he went back to his old stomping grounds with a trip he wouldn't include me in is to look for reconnection and get a feel for moving back there? scope out the possibilities? I was trying to suppress those thoughts, didn't want to acknowledge them, but you've brought them all to the surface.
It's tough being left behind, no contact, left out. I know, I know, just leave him alone. He'll come back in a better mood if I do.
Holy Gajeebers Batman! Got a credit card bill in the mail today. Whew! I hope H is out hunting for the goose that laid the golden egg. Sure am going to need it, or I should say HE is! And I was feeling good because I just made the last payment today on the hospital bill from last year for his injury. (ps-hospital bills are negotiable and they do take payments.) I can't keep up with the mans spending!
My phone number? Try 900-555-1212, it's a new fund raiser number I just installed. I don't know though, if the voice of bigAl is so godlike as JennBird says, I don't want to settle for a text message. I want to hear it. So ZenMan, who do you sound like? Noah? Moses? Kermit?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
So ZenMan, who do you sound like? Noah? Moses? Kermit?
I'm a little guy but I've been told that I can nail Johnny Cash from "Deliah's Gone" or "Rusty Chain". How's that strike ya? Honestly, I have to work at the Johnny Cash thing. That's not my normal voice.
Although...I'm dating this girl who says that I "give really good phone". Apparently I have a nice phone voice and I do well keeping the conversations moving. I didn't tell her my secret...I learned to listen, validate, and ask open-ended questions about her feelings while DBing and reading books like "Men are from Mars...". No [censored]. Really. May not have been able to save my marriage but I'm damn easy to "open up to" now and I'm sure that will come in handy someday.
Zen! you're dating a girl!??? just a day or two ago you said a girl, just a friend. Give it up guy! do tell us all about your new friend. Forget Johnny Cash, unless of course that's why she's dating you. Living proof that DB'ing works in all stages of life?
And bigAl, I still agree with Jenn. The voice fits you. When I come and feed your dogs don't say a word, I don't want to think any different. What was the older dog on Homeward Bound. Is that what your dog sounds like?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Quote: Zen! you're dating a girl!??? just a day or two ago you said a girl, just a friend. Give it up guy! do tell us all about your new friend. Forget Johnny Cash, unless of course that's why she's dating you. Living proof that DB'ing works in all stages of life?
Pffft, WCW, have you not been paying attention? :-D When I was in New Hampshire on business I went out with this waitress in the bar in the hotel. Was running with a lawyer chick from the gym for a while(that didn't work out). Couple of other odd dates here and there. Honestly, I hit on everyone...even the ladies that work at the Starbuck's down the street from work. I figure, eh, what the heck, if nothing else it is good to have a little fun and get some practice for when I meet someone that I'm really interested in. I saw a woman at a local high-end burger joint today...she was looking at some 6 layer cake that they had made...what the heck; why not?...chatted her up for about 10 minutes while I waited on my burger. Talked about the cake (she cooks) and mentioned that I make a mean sweet potato pie (unusual pie in these parts). Whatever works. I usually don't go for the numbers or email addresses though. My situation is still to screwed up for all of that. Just practice.
And let me tell you...my motorcycle is a piece of junk. It has huge road rash scrapes up the side where it has been wrecked and it is a '96 so kinda has an odd style for a rice rocket but that thing is a damn chick magnet. I'm not kidding. I've had half a dozen women smile at me or even stop dead and wave when I rode by just in the last week or so. It's really amazing. Some of the women at work say that it is *because* of how obvious it is that the bike has been wrecked. Somehow I'm "dangerous" all of a sudden. Okay, I'll let them think that! I didn't buy that bike for that reason but, hey, I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth!
As for the "girl friend...two words", y, I know, I know. That situation is just out of control. We spend a lot of time together and we are actually going backpacking along the Appalachian Trail(Mt. Rogers, VA) this weekend. She knows all about my situation (D not official) and she is okay with it but leary that STBXW and I will get back together somehow. Neither one of us wants to be involved in a rebound situation so I've been trying really hard to just keep things casual and friendly but it's like something is pushing us together. I have some very unusual tastes, at least for this part of the country, when it comes to hobbies, music, books, politics, religion but we just keep having these "Wait, you do that too!" moments. Let me give you a silly example: sitting in a wine shop the other day (both really into wines) joking around after going to the movies. This lady is playing acoustic guitar behind us and I stop dead in the middle of the conversation when she starts a new song.
"Ah, man, what is that she is playing? I know I've heard that. I think I even have the CD."
"Oh, that's one of the interludes on the Jefferson Airplane album 'While Bathing at Baxter's'."
"What? You know Jefferson Airplane?"
"Y, I have that album."
"So, do I."
Now, that is a silly example but we are 28 and 30. I don't know anyone else below 45 who has ever even *heard* of Jefferson Airplane let alone has any of their albums and can recognize one of the interludes cold. She even knows some Frank Zappa tunes for f---'s sake. The little similarities like that just keep happening. And she is awfully cute in her riding gear and her dayhiking outfits. Strawberry blonde, petite, long hair, semi-hippie chick. And she really digs it when I walk around the apartment in one of my wife-beater T-shirts. Apparently the gym has paid off.
I'm having a hard time behaving myself to be quite honest.
Enough about all of that. What a hijack that turned into! Oh well, proof that there is life after D.
Pffft, back to you! yes, I've been paying attention, and you've been keeping secrets! What a hijack, it's great! But that is really great, you deserve a good friend. Well, other than me of course. Someone you can have a real conversation with and smell and touch, careful with the touch! Behave yourself, don't put you in a situation that you'll wonder about in months to come. If it's real it will still be there when you're ready for the next level. There's my mom speech. (no, I'm not THAT old! maybe a sister speech.) You are still the King of GAL.
Got a txt mssge late last night from H. "Made to the hunting spot, hunting in the am." Gee thanks for the wealth of information. We had a flurry of txts, finally I asked if he was sick, he asked why I asked, I said 'cause you can't call and have a voice conversation and I prefer voice call from a smooth talker like you. He called, pretty grumpy, jet lag? bad day? didn't want to talk? Oh well, sometimes I just have too much trouble letting him call the shots and treat his wife like a worn out dish rag. It wasn't a good connection, and I had a hard time getting any conversation and it was broken up anyway. So we had a short call and I said good night. I did call this morning to leave him a message, didn't think he would answer so early, but he did. Nice! Told him I had all his hunting for the elusive game solved, download a ringtone of an elk bugle or a deer bugle and they'd all come a running. He laughed, I said happy hunting, take care and stay safe, H said okay, talk to you later. Now, I probably take that way to literal, I expect an actual phone call with his voice on the other end instead of *!@$%%^&* text message.
Plans are in place with sis arriving Thursday, packing up the trailer and horses, meeting family for coffe and pie, and then off on our trip. H hasn't asked about anything at home or my plans, so I haven't told him. My sis flies out of the same airport that H flies into on Monday. Well, I think he flies on Monday, he hasn't officially told me when he comes back or what time, but his intitial mention of flights he said he wanted to come back on Monday but couldn't get the right flights to use his free miles. So, I wonder when he does come back? Hope I'm around to pick him up. It would be nice if somehow he flew in and my sis flew out and we all had a few minutes to say hi at the airport.
So, anyone have any ideas for a homecoming? Being I'm not sure when H comes home, and I don't want to make a huge deal, but wouldn't it be great to start fresh and just walk up and hug and kiss like nothing was ever wrong? What other ideas does anyone have? So far my best idea is to meet him with a hot cappacino. And tell him there's one more hot thing simmering for him.
Got this in a daily inspiration email today. I thought it was kinda cool.
Recipe For Forever Gather all of the ingredients together, So that they are close at hand! Get a clean cloth and wipe the bowl clean of any lingering *dust* from the past. Take MATURITY, RESPECT, and FRIENDSHIP, and stir gently. Add unlimited amounts of COMPASSION and KINDNESS, And mix well. To this, add CARING by the handfuls, and fold in TRUST. Continue stirring gently, adding LISTENING, HONESTY, and large amounts of COMMUNICATION. Slip in some DREAMS, GOALS, And firm pieces of KEEPING PROMISES. Bake in a home filled with PEACE, BEAUTY, and SERENITY. Before you taste the finished product, sprinkle liberally with PATIENCE, LOVE, and a touch of SPICE. Serve very hot, with IMAGINATION on the side.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I had a feel good night last night. A new girl that wants to learn all about horses came for a lesson last night. This girl is so horse nuts, you can see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice, she is almost breathless when she talks, her enthusiasm is contagious! It was so refreshing. Turns out her mom and I went to high school together, sort of a pass in the hall and smile but don't converse, hung out in different crowds. Actually, I didn't hang out much in school with classmates, not many kids had anything in common with horses, they stink you know. Now, her mom's life is being married to a dairy farmer. Nice person, it just seemed weird that this 'city girl' is now a dairy farmers wife in dirty sweat pants. Nothing at all wrong with that mind you, but just never the life I would have expected for such a fancy classmate. Maybe no ones life turns out the same as dreams.
Got a call from H yesterday afternoon about putting out a fire for the meeting he was missing last night because he's out of town on his surprise trip. Yes, I can do that, I can take care of that, I will handle it. As always. A thank you would have been nice. Another text after midnight, they ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere, just got back to 'camp'. I didn't reply, I'm disappointed with txt mssge conversations, but yes, grateful for any communication. I know, you're thinking he was being courteous by not waking me up in the middle of the night. Not. Our history/tradition has always had pretty off hours calls when one or the other would be traveling, anytime is okay to call. Cold with frost here this morning, pretty chilly doing chores. Got to work, and H calls in a little bit, sounded normal. Said he overslept because of getting to bed at midnight, does that mean he was going to call early and say good morning? He couldn't call last night because his phone was running out of battery and he shut it off to save it for emergencies. It was nice he had an explanation for his rudeness. Hasn't asked about anything at home or what I'm doing. He still doesn't know my plans for my trip this weekend. I'm not trying to keep it a secret, but if he doesn't care to ask..... A weird thought just tracked thru my brain, there are 4 states that start with I and I'll have family in all of them the next 4 days.
Still wondering if anyone has any tips for his homecoming. Act As If? as if nothing has been wrong and approach for big hug and kiss, and tear his clothes off when we get home? (previous history) Act As If? continue as we have before H went on his trip, keep a physical distance, wait for him to make the first move. I'll probably just have to wait and get a feel for the situation when he walks thru the gate. Hope he'll be smiling and rejuvinated from his trip.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
