The last time he hugged your or kissed you spontaneously......or in general, when he has hugged you or kissed you spontaneously ..... what where the conditions.....time, place, atmosphere....
what were you saying, what were you doing??????
what came RIGHT BEFORE?????
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
Is there any way that you can let some of that slip? As much as it sucks, I would not suggest pressuring him to crank out as much as possible before he leaves as in his WAS-mind it would probably register as nagging. But, perhaps for your own good, some of it can slip without the farm/business completely collapsing?
You have so much on your plate right now, with the R *and* the business, that I just wonder if some of it could be allowed to drop in order to give you a little bit of slack.
Quote: when he has hugged you or kissed you spontaneously ..... what where the conditions.....time, place, atmosphere....
Prior to Sept 2003. We had bought adjoining land in the spring, the closing date happened to fall on my birthday. That summer we spent a lot of time making fence, riding and marvelling that it was in fact our land now. While making fence he initiated a hug and kiss.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I haven't pressured him to crank out anything before his trip, and he hasn't. But some of these things that he doesn't do cannot wait until he gets back, we have meeting deadlines and those meetings are this week. The rest of the stuff at home is mostly day to day that must be done, critters depend on me. We did stop at the store after breakfast on Sunday with my family, and bought a new door knob to replace one which was broke. I changed it while he went about his own business. But it doesn't fit right, can't make it stay latched under pressure. Bummer, but at least it doesn't fall apart in your hand.
This morning I was up early putting a few escapee cows back where they belong. They managed to get a gate open that H didn't chain yesterday, and went on a mission to find their babies. H came out to help just as I got them back thru the gate. Gee thanks, honey. Went back to bed for a few minutes, I was hoping he would join me, but he didn't. I think he's feeling pretty guilty and can't be around me, same as when he was hot with his affair. I've honestly not said much about his trip or asked many questions, nothing since Friday night when he told me. I had about 5 minutes left before I had to leave for work this morning, and H said, did I tell you when my flight is? No. Oh, it's at 2pm. I asked if he was home before that or working this morning to make sure all the critters were where they belonged, he hesitated, said he was home but figured he would have to leave by 11am. I waited at the door, hoping he would come to give me a hug, he was shuffling some paperwork, I said guess I'll see ya, fed the dogs on my way out the porch, I was pretty teared up, he came to the door and watched, and when I looked at him he was teared up too. I got in the little can (my gas saver) and left. I am a mess, had a zillion things I wanted to say or text, and finally just sent something that said I was trying pretty hard but I am a mess, a simple hug from you would have been nice. He replied, okay, will stop by on way to airport. Normally I would drop him at the airport and avoid parking fees for a week, guess he has other plans. Or his he waiting for me to offer? I would, but he has managed to plan this whole trip while excluding me, if he wants a ride and avoid paying airport parking can't he just ask?
I'll sure be glad when the next 3 hours are over. I'm better after the facts of the event than the hours up until it.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
IMO, take him to the airport, tell him to have a good trip, and give him a peck on the cheek.
Something about your situation occurred to me this morning while in the shower. (heh) I don't have time for it right now...later this afternoon perhaps.
Thanks, ZenMan. I did txt back that I could take him, haven't gotten a response from that. I do want him to have a good trip, I don't mind that he is taking the trip, it's the way he went about it that I have so much frickin trouble with. And I'd like to see all the kids too. But his being his selfish self again prevents that.
Okay, so why are you thinking about ME in YOUR shower? and you're going to make me wait for the answer? you're a tease!
Sge - when you called me Sweetie it reminds me of when my dear old neighbor was still alive. He always had a big smile, and no matter what time of day he always had a big old Good Morning, Sweetheart! for me. I still miss my old friend.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Oh girl. I'm so sorry. But try to look at it as a vacation from him too. It really is. XH is leaving Thrusday and won't be back until Monday. Going 3000 miles away and leaving me with the kids. In the past he would have begged me to take vacation days and go with him. This time, not even an invite. But I'm going to look at it in a positive light (as best I can) and take it as a vacation from the stress of this R. I can come and go as I please and not have to worry about if what I'm doing is okay with XH or not. I know you have a lot going on (in the same boat there) but I hope you find some time for you too. You need it. And deserve it. I'm thinking about you my friend.
Thanks, Hope. I know it will be like a vacation from H, all this crapola, time to let my shoulders sag for a week. All that will be good, and good for me, and most likely him. Or I hope so. At least your XH told you about it before he made all the plans. I'm still hung up on that part, and feeling very left out and excluded from his life again. It will just take time to get over it, and try looking for those positive signs and put them together for some PMA.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
