But I sell tupperware too! How's that for boring and conservative>
Add selling body jewelry, handbags, and lingerie to the stippers in town and for now giving tours to little preschoolers of a working farm and you have my cross between Mary Poppins and Juli Ashton down to a warped perfection.
Me thinks it is more like you are just LD for your H
Lol! Heck going by Choc article he posted I may be one of the only ones on this site having sex in the 1/4 range. Well me and Mrs Nop and we are both the LD partners.
Just thought I'd pop in to mention that, in New York, if your spouse denies you sex ONE TIME, it is not grounds for divorce under the "constructive abandonment" theory. I read this and, although the husband was obviously a creep, I just wanted to slap the wife and say, "once? You got rejected once and you're crying to the judge about it? Get real!"
Marrying a person for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts. (attrib.: Foxworthy)
Can you hear that? It's a knocking sound...kind of a dull thud. Can you hear it? It's somewhat rhythmic, definitely repetitive. Maybe it's only loud to me. Are you sure you can't hear it? It sounds just like something hitting something else. Like, perhaps, something about the size of a basketball, hitting something solid and flat? Thud. Thud. Thud. It's a very familiar sound. WAIT! I figured it out.
It's my skull, banging repeatedly on a brick wall.
So, our first Monday rolled around last night. Mondays, if you recall, have a special meaning now. During our last session with the MC, when Ms.HDog was complaining about how there is just no practical time to get together and "be intimate," the MC went through our week with us, and lo and behold, Monday nights after we put DD4 to bed, we had some time for "us time." W agreed to give it a try.
Just in case I thought I was dreaming this, I mentioned it to the MC during a one on one appointment I had with her yesterday afternoon. Yes, she said, it was her understanding that the Monday night time was time for physical intimacy, although she cautioned me that I shouldn't "push it" if W had some reason to say "no." She said it would be better to just be amiable and then talk about it at the next joint MC session. She suggested bringing it up by asking W "what would you like to do during our 'us' time tonight?" She suggested that if W said "I don't know," that I have a plan in mind.
On the way to swimming class with DD4, I said to W, "what would you like to do during 'us' time tonight?" She said, "sleep." Pause. W: I didn't think we needed to do any specific activity, just that we needed to have the TV off. H: That wasn't my understanding.
I proceeded to recount my version, which included the context of the conversation (when is there time to ML?). She reiterated that she thought it just had meant we turn off the TV. And then, with puzzled surprise in her face, she said, "What did you think it meant? That we'd make love?!"
H: Not that ML was required, but that it would definitely be considered. But, at the least, that we'd spend the time touching, or taking a bath together, or something else intimate like that. W: Uh, no. I think you're wrong. You know I don't feel intimacy based on touch. I feel it based on an emotional connection.
She proceeded to indicate that I had given up on just talking with her, which I disputed.
Nothing was resolved. When 9pm rolled around, after I had put DD4 to bed, I came downstairs. She was sitting in a chair, reading. I sat on the couch and shooed a dog away.
H: Would you like to come sit by me? W: I'm fine over here.
We spent the next 15 minutes talking. Just talking. She was curious about my meeting with the MC, so I shared some of that, but nothing particularly sensitive. After about 5 minutes of near silence, I said, "if you want to go upstairs and sleep, that's fine."
She said no, but suggested that it would be nice if we both went up and read in bed. Which we did. At about 9:40, she rolled over and went to sleep. 20 minutes later, she asked me if I was still awake.
H: Yes. W: This is the problem with not vegging out in front of the TV for a while before bed. Even though I am so tired, I can't get my mind to shut down. H: Maybe you should go downstairs and watch some TV. W: No...it's too late. H: Go ahead and turn it on here, then. W: No.
I figured she just wanted to vent, and maybe to let me know that this plan for "us" time would not work. I didn't say anything further, and, eventually, we both slept.
No words of wisdom here. It has been said before that your W is a tough nut to crack. The funny thing is that given that she is an extremely intelligent person she chooses to be "dumb" about the strangest things. She knew full well what Mondays were supposed to be about. However, she chose to play dumb and say that she had a different understanding instead of to confront whatever her personal roadblock is to emotional closeness. I think it is vulnerability. I heartily disagree that she wants "emotional connection" through sharing dialog. She uses dialog as a crutch and a bat depending upon her needs. She has an incredible wall around her. Your head must really hurt. What do you need to do to take care of yourself? You deserve to find some bliss somewhere in your life.
Hairy, I know and you know she isn't that dense. She knew exactly what was meant for the Monday night 'us' time, but for whatever reason she is playing stupid. I feel for you, man. Maybe a "look, I don't know what game you are playing, but this IS NOT WORKING for me" is in order. The EC bit is a load of BS and she knows it. She needs you to stand up and call BS on her, since you didn't she's just thinking she just pulled another one over on you. Be strong, take what is yours and leave no prisoners!
Let her know that you are aware that she's playing a game and that it aint working for you.
Even IF she thought that the 'us' time was just to be spent sans tv, wtf is up with saying she wants to sleep? That's not us time!
Call her on her bullcrap and soon.
She was curious about the MC because she knows she's gonna look like a turkey in the next session and she wants to have her defense prepared ahead of time.
The MC told you what to do though, and I think it's right. Bring it up at your next session. The MC was there when you two made this agreement, and will hopefully help you clarify things. Is your wife seriously saying that your "alone time" is satisfied simply by reading instead of watching TV? Like I said, yikes.
Snow more ughh 
