Some things bother me so much I dont want to offer more R help.
About my sitch? Please never feel that way. I love your advice insight and thoughts. As does many other people on the BB.
Though my sitch is different then alot of peoples in this forum. Truth be told I think I have it easier then most.
My biggest issues are trying to relearn behaviors. To open up and allow myself to just feel things. Others here I see all these things that cause them pain and it makes me sad for them. My heart cries for Gel who seemed to be moving well along the path and now seems to be back were she started. And HD and Lou my gosh I could take frying pans to there spouses heads.And Cine I am just all out worried about she was in a bad place then just disappeared. Lil does seem to be in a calmer place then she was 6 months ago. But there is still such a sadness and longing within her. Compared to most of these people I feel like a whiney baby.
so I hope the physical abuse is gone and stays gone.
There was never massive amounts of physical abuse alot of threats towards it and verbal abuse. It has tappered off some. If it last ahhh we will see.
When you say this it comes off as there is nothing about him that pleases you.
Sorry no not my intent. It is the soppy word type thing that turns my stomach. Not good at being soppy. Nor do I receive soppiness well. Gotta work on that.
and what pray tell is he using those tools for?
Well I know it was not to fix the kids bikes! But in truth they have been lying there so long who can remember. May have been the last time he changed the oil in his truck. He is terrible for leaving things around and then when he canot find them he blames the kids they most have had them blah blah....
and fishing sounds like GAL to me.
Yup and I have no problems with him fishing. But there are still things he needs to do other then fish and watch TV.
You said that men do not need a mother to tell them what to do. Yesterday after the fishing I made mention of the tree and I wanted it gone. Guess what today it is gone. Now going on peoples advice and not telling him what to do but allowing him to be the manly man and feel needed to do did not work as suggested. I had to point blank say and how much longer is that tree going to lay there in the yard before you cut it up.
Ok skinny minny
5'7 122lbs not that skinny.
Well even though I said it before I guess I will spell it out. I dont do drugs, legal or not
I don't think I implied you did I think I used the reason why I do not do these things as a reason for a simular example to my not liking to be out of control with my emotional state and why I would walk away from a fairly good relationship when I felt I was not in control of my feelings.
Mental note jokes about sex ok
HMMMM more then okay.
BF I appreciate all the time you put on my post. I know sometimes it is hard to know what to say to someone if your sitch is not simular or if you have never walked a mile in there shoes.
I know it is hard for alot of people to know what to say regaurding my post. As I said before my sitch for the most part does not belong on this board.
P.S my new job is so disorganized I had to show my boss today how to do the paperwork? Not thinking this is going to be good for my control issues!
It is the soppy word type thing that turns my stomach
my pet name for x was pumpkin. sometimes pumpkin head. it makes me smile/laugh, I like the sound of the word, Pumpkin Pie has family/thanksgiving/good memories with it and I just like the way the word Pumpkin sits in your mouth. Oh yeah if you break up the word its Pump as in sexual pumping and kin as in relative. Which she was the closest.
Ok that last one was a stretch.
So about the tree and mother thing. Does he have a good R with his Mom? did she baby him? and you got together when he was so young did he ever live on his own?
Would he deal well with a list? Put it up on the fridge. That way you dont have to nag and he gets reminded of them. Did it bother you to have to tell him about it? I think women giveing men a 'Honey Do' list is pretty common, it sure is mentioned often in media, dont know for sure maybe others will chime in.
I don't think I implied you did No you didnt, but the silence is so deafening after my two (drug alcohol) remarks I had to say something. I can see people imagining me drowning my sorrows in a stupor.
I know sometimes it is hard to know what to say to someone if your sitch is not simular or if you have never walked a mile in there shoes.
Nope not that at all. Its the references to physical abuse that set me on edge. My convos with you are about me exploring my control/detachment as well as shining a light on them to you. They are partly natural tendency, partly enviromental backlash.
my pet name for x was pumpkin. sometimes pumpkin head. it makes me smile/laugh, I like the sound of the word, Pumpkin Pie has family/thanksgiving/good memories with it and I just like the way the word Pumpkin sits in your mouth. Oh yeah if you break up the word its Pump as in sexual pumping and kin as in relative. Which she was the closest.
Uh Oh! Chrissy and I were just going on and on about pumpkin and she is going to post a pumpkin whoopie pie recipe later. Hope we're not rubbing salt in the wound with the ex (pumpkin head) and all. That's very cute by the way. My old college boyfriend used to call me Donut.
Cream sugar and oil. Add pumpkin and eggs. Add flour salt baking powder soda vanilla and spices. Mix well. Drop by heaping teaspoons on greased cookie sheet. BAKE AT 350 degrees for 10-12 minutes. When cool put cookies together with cream cheese frosting in the middle.
Thanks for the recipe Chrissy. Sound yummy, and yes I will be buying the frosting. If I'm totally honest with myself I'll probably print out the recipe and it will sit wedged in a cookbook and 5 years from now I'll find it and say, "Pumpkin Whoopie Pies from Chrissy. Hmmmm.." No no I will try and make them, maybe. I'm much more likely to go down to the awesome grocery store we have and just buy something similar ready-made. Like with Thanksgiving coming up, if I'm asked to "bring" dessert, I do precisely that. Bring a nice ready-made pumpkin pie or something from the bakery. Rarely make anything on my own. Used to. Not any more. Part of the new LFL I think. Why waste my time in the kitchen when I can get a perfectly fine one at the store and then have more time to spend goofing off on here or someplace else just as stimulating
Ditto on the pumpkin pie. But I like to bake some times. And I love to make something new at the holidays just to gets H families goat. Well thats not the only reason. I like doing themes for the holidays.
This year we are going to have DILLY BEANS and PICKLED BRUSSEL SPROUTS. Dying to see there faces when they take a bite. (maybe one day they will take the hint and have the holidays somewhere else). My mother in law will bring her traditional mac salad and potatoe salad.WTF who eats potatoe salad with turkey and dressing? Its not a picnic. The rest will just bring there hungry stomachs and leave or sit around while I clean up there mess. Gosh I am so looking forward to the holidays!
I cheat on pumpkin pie. I cannot do the crust. Nope Chrissy is crust dumb. It always taste like yuck.
But I am going to make Cherry Amaretto (?) cheeseballs this year too. And pumkin spritz cookies along with the whoopie cakes. The baking is my fav part! I really hate to cook but love to bake.
Well them some silly people. I wonder if they also eat mac salad doubled eggs and pork and beans with it also. No I did not say baked beans I said cold pork and beans. Heck I could just subsitute the turkey with some good ole hotdogs and serve it out on the picnic table in the 40 degre weather and it would be like any other meal with them.
"Punkin" is what I call my usually call my daughter. And she just loves pumpkin pie. Maybe that's why she really likes Halloween as well, it reminds her of Daddy's term of endearment.
But then again it could just be the free candy thing...
Last edited by snookchaser; 11/12/0504:52 PM.
"And wrinkles only go where the smiles have been." J. Buffett
I refer to my youngest pumpkin pie apple of my eye alot. But his true nickname is bug. Okay so that is one of a thousand I call him! He loves pumpkin pie and always asked for it as a baby so it sorta stuck
I think I used the reason why I do not do these things as a reason for a simular example to my not liking to be out of control with my emotional state and why I would walk away from a fairly good relationship when I felt I was not in control of my feelings.
