BB, KDK, KDU, Kismet - Thanks for checking up on me. Yes, I am trying to detach and not dwell too much on what H is saying. Yes, I do feel like he is trying to play games. As soon as he feels like I am slipping away, he will launch into the "lovey-dovey promising talk" and when he feels that I been reeled in, it's back to nothing.
After Monday's long talk on the phone, I hear nothing from H on Tuesday whole day. He did transfer the money on Tuesday AM. But no texts or phone call the whole day. I did the unthinkable!! I texted him FIRST. Told him that I've received the money blah blah blah. Later that night..did another unthinkable...called him. Talked to him about insurance for the boys blah blah blah. Our convo seems to gear towards "my life" over here, rather than moving to Country X. He seems to be in a hurry to go off. So, let him off and ended the call. SO, have resolved to be absolutely DARK for at least today (Wed) and tmrw. NO texts, NO calls from me. Have to adhere to this mini-goal.
he is "talking the talk", now he has to "walk the walk Will see if this will materialise....
Yes, BB - I think if H REALLY visits the school, it will be a good starting step that he is really taking action.
Also, I have to vent abit this morning....read an article "Shocking Trend: Why women prefer to be mistresses than wives". I was really agitated when I read the comments made by these women! Most of them were late twenties/early thirties, successful working women who wants well-to-do, successful, matured men. Most of these men are already married, but they DON'T CARE. One of them said "I don't think of his wife as a person with feelings". WTF! Another said "Oh..she made James sooo unhappy, that it's better that they break-up". Bl@@dy hell, if bl@@dy James is soooo unhappy, he should break-up with his wife first before he seeks another. Correct? Very infuriating!!! These women have no Morals, are shameful, selfish skanks!!!!!
Okay, enough venting...time to get back to work. Feel better now.. phew!
Yoyo just wanted to say good venting and I agree. The OW's are obviously from another planet and when alien's abduct our H's brain that is why they get along with OW so well in the short term but then the alien's give back their real brain and they come back down to earth...HEhehehe Here is to H's getting their brains back....KDU
KDU - Yes, it was good to vent over here on the BB. I tell you...I had such great urges to pick up the phone to call H. But I held on...managed to NOT contacting him the whole of yesterday. It was hard, but I managed. Haven't heard from H for the whole day. And so far nothing this morning. On one hand, am trying to adhere to my NO CONTACT stance, but on the other, I want to check to see if he is alright. But then, again....he might feel that I am intruding??
Journalling... Had a good talk with my mentor this morning. Told him about the many IFs questions that has been posed by H on Monday. He advised that the next time he asks questions with the IFs, I should reciprocate back with IFs questions, and that would allow me to understand a little bit more of what he is thinking and feeling. He said that I shouldn't be too caught up with the IFs. From his perspective, he said that seems like my H is thinking to the next level, i.e "what furniture can she bring over, this cabinet, that cabinet" vs "is she moving over". He said that my H is "unsure about me still loving him despite of what's happened. And that he may feel that the ball is in my court to accept him back" and that is why he asked if I still loved him, and also with a text that says that he loves me. My mentor said that H may be unsure of how to "win" me back, and felt the last text may be his way of trying to....
I don't know..but it is nice to hear this bright perspective from someone else other than my own thoughts. It would be nice to have H calling me to give me updates on things...but the bummer is that he has not. I also will not call and ask him about "the boys' school" cause if he has done it, he will sure to tell me about it. But if he has not, me asking the question will sound like I am pursuing and pressuring.
I used the rubber band on the wrist AID to stop me from calling H yesterday. Each time I feel the urge, I actually pulled the rubber band and it did give a hard whack. And I have to say it WORKS!!! Just slipped another one on. But I think I would call him tmrw AM if he doesn't call....just to check that everything is OK. I know I know...but it would give my mind a rest to know that he is okay. He may not continue to be my H but still my boys' father...just want to make sure he is fine.... and Yes, I still love him dearly...inspite of everything. But I have to admit that I really had an episode of "I DON'T WANT HIM BACK" last night just before bed time. All the memories of what he said about OW and me...was just too much. GOsh... ANyway, I do want him back. I do want to move to Country X (though it's not paradise...) to be a real family again...
Okay...composing myself...like I said in my previous posts...the real positive marker would be if he really goes and visits the School to inquire about admissions for the boys.
NO CALLING! NO CALLING! NO CALLING!! ......But I think I would call him tmrw AM if he doesn't call....just to check that everything is OK
Trust me Yoyo, if things aren't ok, you will find out ~ so don't call.(she says bluntly . Just keep wacking that rubber band. I had to take mine off, early post bomb as I had welts on my wrist. Then I started dropping and doing 20 crunches to thought stop. Works great at home, but maybe not the professional image you want at work Great for the abs though (gotta get rid of that muffin top by summer, and it is looming....)
In Case of Emergency. I think since the bombings in London, emergency people have suggested that everyone program into their mobile phone, a contact # under ICE as then they can call you if that person is not capable of it.
Yoyo I wouldn't contact him but if you truly can't stop yourself then just send a text to him saying the boys haven't spoken to you in a few days so can you call them. That way it is not you pursuing him it is the boys. If you are gonna call him for you just flick that band...twang...KDU
But I think I would call him tmrw AM if he doesn't call....just to check that everything is OK. I know I know...but it would give my mind a rest to know that he is okay. He may not continue to be my H but still my boys' father...just want to make sure he is fine.... and Yes, I still love him dearly...inspite of everything. But I have to admit that I really had an episode of "I DON'T WANT HIM BACK" last night just before bed time. All the memories of what he said about OW and me...was just too much. GOsh... ANyway, I do want him back. I do want to move to Country X (though it's not paradise...) to be a real family again...
. Just keep wacking that rubber band. 
Great for the abs though (gotta get rid of that muffin top by summer, and it is looming....)