Ex used to buy me snickers all the time, even during the div!
Well, a lot of confused feelings here today! Everything happening all at once seems like. At least, my portion of life is good!
Ex and Ex's ex have spent two days in court over ss14. Things were all haywire as the appointed case worker had screwed everything up. The judge had ordered ss14 into a treatment center for his behavior problems and the c-worker put him in foster care instead. And has been giving into everything he wants so she wouldn't get caught. So, now ss14 HAS to go to the treatment center and ex won't get custody until that's completed.
He wasn't pleased about losing 2 days work over this. And his place of employment is getting relocated by the end of the year, which means he will have to move or drive 80 miles to work.
Most of this didn't bother me.
What did bother me, but I'm trying to let it slide oooooffffff ________>> ex's ex believes the ow is living w/him now! Said he talked about how she doesn't fill the dishwasher full when she runs it. Or the washer even tho it's hers??
Trouble in paradise, or just abnormal/normal behavior?
And his visit here must not have registered much in his mind, he complained about all the trouble "I" caused in court during the div proceedings! HHMMMMPPPHHHH!!!
And he still has called me this week. haven't talked since the visit.
But as I say, there is only 'good' in my life! I took the job in Mad-town! We worked it out and I can start as soon as I line up daycare for s9. Which I have two, maybe three good possibilities at the moment. The k's had a great first day of school. well, s9 did; s17 says it was just ok!
We are off to celebrate tonite. Skipping the nachos, cookies and even chinese and going for good old pizza!
Good for you T!! I'm happy you got the job situation nailed down. That must be a relief. Now you just have to go to work.
There is too much for your X to work through on his own without involving you. Just enjoy your life and leave him on the back burner til he's worked out his issues.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
But I may have to quit talking so much about food; had a strange dream last nite w/ex criticizing me over and over - even about my weight! It was just really weird!
Feeling more and more jaded today! Sort of 'p!ssed off' at ex over his lack of contact, which I shouldn't be since I was trying to be semi-dark for a time. I guess it's just wanting to yell 'hey ex, (slapping him), I'm ignoring you!'
Actually, it's also my need to have 'quality time' and tell him about my job and the k's etc etc, and I don't get to. I know - actions speak louder than words; and if I hold back info, he will see this later by my actions.
But I also don't take well to criticism, and that's all his ex said he did about me. I'm not raising our son properly, I caused all the problems during the div, even mentioned how my s17 was disqualified from the marines and the army - which this point she could set him straight on! Said he shut up after he realized she knew the truth!
So, no I won't defend myself to him. I was just hoping things would be a little better after the visit.
And I don't like the fact that OW is becoming more and more involved in his life. I keep telling myself that a) it will kill the R quicker the more time they spend together and b) he's still keeping her a secret from me, but not the other ex????
I have stuck myself in the middle of the temp service mess somehow. Talked to the boss about my start date and he says he is refusing to pay them; and what can I do about that? Sounds like they went behind my back and demanded payment from him. Have to get this all straightened out today. I am taking Tuesday to interview the day care and will start work on Wednesday. Which means I won't be around much here during the day!
I think I have been working so hard on finding a job, that I don't know how to relax now and enjoy the relief of having one! That's the real reason I'm taking Tuesday off! Time to spend to myself. I have some of that today, but also have a whole list of chores that need to get done! Which I should get at instead of just rambling on and on and on ....
That's all I'm doing, not analyzing: just rambling, mulling it over, contemplating life, getting my life going in the right direction, considering my objectives and goals, working on my dreams, observing, journaling, talking out loud, getting hungry, looking for fun, enjoying where I'm at, looking into the future, being happy w/all that I have, letting things slide off of me, still hungry, but have lots of leftover pizza, writing a grocery list, doing laundry, picking up toys, jump starting my car, walking the dog, balancing my checkbook, oh .... my to-do list is getting long, I better get busy! T
Oy, the criticism (real or imagined) from someone who is obviously struggling seems so hypocritical, doesn't it.
I'd encourage you to try to find ways to feed yourself that attention/affirmation, T - rather than think about ways to have him nurture you. Think of it as investing in the R in the shortterm for longterm gains. Even if you don't reconcile , as friends, he can be pulled to a more nurturant spot to better support you, but only after you carry the brunt of the R load for now.
I wouldn't trust Ex's Ex any further than I could throw her, if I were you. Besides, hearsay is just hearsay.
and I could get that affirmation by spoiling myself w/food or shopping right now; but can't do that!
This job has already taken a turn for the worst and I haven't even started working yet!
The manager of the company is still refusing to pay the service that found me for him, and asked ME to get them off his back! I look at it like .... if he won't pay them, how do I know that he will pay me??
I feel like I am already hanging out on a limb here and not only the branch is breaking; but the tree is coming uprooted at the same time.
I'm really trying to let this all slide off me. I don't bring work stress home w/me, it tends to upset s9 if I am tense. Will you pass me a chocolate filled donut, Gabe?
Mmmphhh!..<Gabe gulps hard> Sorry T, ate the last one.
Hmmm, there's got to be a way to compromise that point. Surely, the company can see the wisdom in an upfront investment. Maybe a three-way conference call will do the trick? I wouldn't let the company off scottfree, or this may set a dangerous precedent. Or it may merely reflect a flaw in the supervisor's character, huh?
On the other hand, a job would go well right now, I imagine.
You are analyzing this job thing too hard. Of course they will pay you. Take the job, go to work, find out if you enjoy it, quit worrying that they are messed up, and if despite "acting as if" everything will be fine it isn't, then just quit. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
It is not your responsibility to get the placement people off their backs, nor is it your responsibility to go to bat for the people that located the job. They can sort that out themselves.
Good luck T. Sorry for being Mr. Fix-it, but you need to look at this job like you look at a R. Nothing is perfect, but you can still work to make it better.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Sorry T, ate the last one. 