Don't worry about feeling low. Know that it will pass quicker than you realize. Probably has already passed by now.
When did she make you dinner? I keep up with your threads and don't remember that. Refresh my memory please. I think that her moving will be good. Having these strings attached produces weird situations. The less of these strings to deal with the better.
As for cancelling the dates, that is OK. I can see how you don't feel up to it. I think you should keep moving in that direction though, but who am I to talk. I have not done this at all and would feel as if I am "cheating" on ex if I did this. My therapist told me that I need to date a little bit and that it would be good for me. She told me that I am divorced and I don't owe ex a commitment. I agree with her. I know how you feel though. No one at all interests me. I think having social interactions with others is healthy though.
I am happy to hear that your father doesn't have to go through chemo. That is good news!
Great news on your dad! I'm happy for him and you.
What Sam says made sense in terms of social interactions. It's a boost to the PMA, feels good to interact, and at least shows that we aren't completely in stalemate waiting for the X. But this, for me as well, is a difficult tightrope to walk. My take home message is that whatever we do has to be for ourselves. So dating can't be only a way to get the X to wake up and take notice that we are capable of moving on. We have to be comfortable ourselves that we are ready to date. It sounds like at least you, Sam, and I aren't ready for dates yet. Perhaps part of my hangup is that despite what my X has told me in the past about dating (that it's good, I should be dating), I personally feel that the times I have show interest in other women have produced negative results.
Well, I'm rambling. But I hear you. It sounds as though you have you next few weeks mapped out, are happy with what you have going on in your life right now, and have a great outlook. That's really all that matters.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
First and most importantly, good news about your Dad. I'm sure you are relieved to no end.
Secondly, when my XW told me about the OM and said to me "I've been dating and I know you've been dating", it didn't seem to bother her one bit. For that, I don't know how to interpret, but for you I think it is a good sign.
Quote: I heard last night that my Dad has good news - no more treatment is truly necessary (chemo) b/c his surgery was successful.
I hope by now the good news about your Dad's health has overcome your "blahs."
Quote: Things are soo much more constrained with the RO in place. She's made me dinner, and given small gifts since then, but I feel like I'm not able to truly relax around her while its in place.
Yeah, the "R" doesn't stand for "Relaxing," does it? I'm amazed that you can have any relationship with her during this. I'd be seeking monitored exchanges for visits if STBXW trumped up something like that on me.
I won't comment on the dating stuff since it's not on my radar yet except to say that you need to be comfortable with your own choices.
I'll figure out the plans with the kids and see if we have a time that fits in your schedule when you're in DC. Otherwise I'll be hoping to get to Vegas to meet up.
Thanks,
K
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
K, I'm amazed we have any positive interactions as well, yet it does show how influential positivity can be. I just need to live that approach/attitude more.
At pickup this am, XW looked nice but stressed. I commented that she looked nice (no response), and she filled me in regarding S6. We chatted briefly about the presidential address last night, w/ S6 rolling his eyes and playfully acting impatient. I think he's learned to expect my undivided attention, but I know he does value the positive interactions he sees b/t his parents.
XW mentioned she had car probs yesterday that cost her $700. I made a small validation of her sitch ('ouch, that stinks!' - or s/t like that), but successfully fought off "Mr. Fix-It." After a great IC session, I stopped by an import store, and while buying a card and gift bag for a friend, bought her some dark chocolate and S6 some chocolate coins. I slipped the child support (CS) check in a brief note that stated s/t like "Sorry to hear about your car trouble, sounds like you handled it great. Thought some dark chocolate might help. Let me know if you need any more info regarding CS. Good luck with your mortgage. - G"
Going to dinner and a get-together with friends tonight. I'll try to sneak in a run first. I'm taking S6 to the circus tomorrow. He can't wait, as SpongeBob will be there (forget the elephants and tightrope walkers, he's excited to see the lil' yellow guy. )
I wholeheartedly approve of everything written here. I hoped you gave her the opportunity to vent and vent about the car, asked questions, and listened. I struggle with the Mr. Fix-it thing. If they are talking about a hard day at work or feeling glum, I do believe Mr. Fix-it is not the way to go. When I'm not so sure is when it is a discrete problem that can be fixed rather than just sympathized about. In this case, you're not a mechanic so I suppose sympathy is all you could offer.
But I thoroughly approve of the chocolates. If it doesn't result in a positive you know not to do that again for awhile, but otherwise it will stick with her that you were sweet on that occasion.
Good job. Have a good weekend.
Me
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Perhaps part of my hangup is that despite what my X has told me in the past about dating (that it's good, I should be dating), I personally feel that the times I have show interest in other women have produced negative results. 
Otherwise I'll be hoping to get to Vegas to meet up.
)
