Great efforts! You did well w/ what was thrown at you.
Quote: Spiritually, I've been trying to enjoy my R with God, just checking in w/ an internal convo, noting a sense of security, making a point to give thanks for all the good stuff happening in my life.
I need to do more of this. I am not being thankful for what I do have and I need to let the Big Guy know that I appreciate his providence. If I could figure out how to let go of the hurt and the anger and the resentment...
Things have become slightly more positive. XW called me at work (she was just down the hallway, but I imagine a call was safer to her than a face-to-face convo), and checked in re S6 and work stuff. She was chatty/friendly, it was positive, but I ended it w/in 10 min to go teach. I've decided to really commit to this friendship creation w/XW - no matter what. She seems to come around quickly when I turn up the positivity toward her. The answer for our R seems to be staying friendly while maintaining apppropriate boundaries re money/my time.
Have a date set for tomorrow - hope to just enjoy convo and good food. In our phone convos, I found myself noting "Okay, she's a bit too type A for me." Also noted that she was working hard to impress me with distances run/kayaked, and wondered if I wasn't playing the game of "impress me back." I'm truly not in the market for another R and emphasized my interest in possible friendship. Its hard to tell if the OP gets that or is just saying so. Although dating can suck, I don't want to end up like the character from the 40yo Virgin, either.
I have S6 afterschool til Sat morn, so we should have some fun together. He seems to be my breath of fresh air and hope these days.
Quote: Have a date set for tomorrow - hope to just enjoy convo and good food. In our phone convos, I found myself noting "Okay, she's a bit too type A for me."
Oh, go on the date! Wax, if you must.
Ya know what? Date or no date, enjoy that time with S6. I had so much fun on the playground with S5 and D10 today at her school's picnic. From what I remember, dates can be fun, but fatherhood is precious, and our kids' childhoods are so brief.
Thanks,
K
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
First - the date. It had a few pleasant moments, but many disappointing ones. Mainly, she misrepresented herself in several key ways, from physical fitness, to occupational status, to religious affiliation. Just out-and-out mistruths that came up in convo over dinner. There was no initial attraction from me to her, yet I was more than willing to practice DBing, listening/convo skills, etc.., but got to thinking "Given that she's told so many lies already, how do I know any of her words are true?" By meals end, I was focused on enjoying my food and the setting. I resisted just breaking off the meal, I stayed focused on her, but obviously there was no 'love connection.'
Later that eve, XW called to talk about S6. She had been drinking wine, and her words were a little slurred, but she also seemed more upfront and less filtered. She asked if I was dating. I said yes, and she said "Thats good" in a quiet but thoughtful way. She went on to say that she must be "ugly" or "intimidating" because she's just not getting dates (she is more the pursuer in the dates she's arranged, according to mutual friends). I told her that she is "drop-dead gorgeous" and very intelligent, and accomplished, and that maybe she's right, that's intimidating to many men. I said, "XW, it will take a very special man to value all that you have to offer. With time, I trust you'll find him." Of course, I was thinking "its me, its me!" I noted that it struck me as ironic that I was investing in nice dates w/other women when we dated so little in the latter part of our M. I noted, "I'm sorry about that XW. You deserve to be treated like a princess, and I was not treating you as such back then. You truly deserve to be treated like a princess." We talked a bit about our M possessions, w/ XW offering me far more than she agreed to earlier.
I resisted an urge to help fix her problem of moving to her condo at months end, remembering the RO and her need to face her consequences alone. According to her finances and what she told me, she will be flat broke when she hands over the down payment on her condo. Unfortunately, that's when reality will truly set in, b/c she's been living about $2k-3K above her monthly income since the D settlement. I feel for her, yet know that she has to face this sitch and grow from it.
We said goodnight in a warm manner. Quite an interesting convo.
Went kayaking both Sat and Sunday, first on a lake and the intracoastal, then w/ a buddy in the Okefenokee Swamp. Didn't see any gators in the latter, but put in a good number of miles. Pulled into the grass to nap in the sun on my kayak briefly before heading back, stopping to wolf down a nice heavy southern meal of fried chicken and fixins.
I'll have S6 this afternoon. And K, you're so right. They grow up incredibly quickly, and I'm so blessed to have my time with him.
Wow! Interesting, especially the conversation. How did she know so quickly about the date and happened to call afterwards? Obviously, the "that's good" portion is B.S.
I think you did very well. Giving the compliment was a very nice WOA. The apology and "princess" part might have been a little over the top, but hey, whatever works for you. Give it a little time to sink in. This potentially is an avenue you may want to explore as a tunnel with cheese. You might have to date a little more. Seems manipulative, but you are supposed to "do what works" and if dating a bit works then go for it.
Sounds like a nice weekend except for the date that seemed uncomfortable at best. But it's good practice and you didn't really want to make a connection anyway.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
She didn't know about the specific date. My guess is that she picked up on a vibe from me, and I've been sure to create some mystery about my whereabouts/activities, especially on Fri/Sats.
I agree that dating more may actually have a positive effect on the sitch.
At the exchange tonight, W initially played up being on the phone with someone, laughing uncontrollably. We waited briefly, I smiled, handed S6 over, and talked to her in a brief mild, yet friendly convo.
By meals end, I was focused on enjoying my food and the setting. I resisted just breaking off the meal, I stayed focused on her, but obviously there was no 'love connection.' 
I noted that it struck me as ironic that I was investing in nice dates w/other women when we dated so little in the latter part of our M. I noted, "I'm sorry about that XW. You deserve to be treated like a princess, and I was not treating you as such back then. You truly deserve to be treated like a princess." We talked a bit about our M possessions, w/ XW offering me far more than she agreed to earlier. 
And it wasn't with me??? Wow...look at what I miss when I take a month hiatus!