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I got this from DailyOM, and thought it inspiring - http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2005/582.html
I urge you all on this journey, to be patient with the one's we love (our children, spouses, family, friends, etc.), but especially to be patient with ourselves.

Patient Perseverance
Drawing Strength From Plants

Each season, grasses, flowers, shrubs, and trees let a part of themselves go in the form of seeds. Every one of those seeds is a point of life, containing the full potential of the parent. In the quest to find a rooting spot, they are buffeted by winds, parched by sun, and soaked by rain. And, as likely as not, they find cement or stone rather than fertile soil. Yet each season, the seeds find what purchase they can and put forth their roots, slowly creating more space for themselves and pushing ever upward, even when the new world they discover is harsh and unpredictable. Seedlings are small, but a single plant can widen a crack in a sidewalk or turn a rock to dust through nothing more than patient perseverance.

In our lives, it is not uncommon to find ourselves cast into the wind, through our own choices or through fate. We are blown hither and thither by fear, uncertainty, and the influence of others. If we do find purchase, the obstacles we face may seem insurmountable and the challenges too much to bear. When this happens, look around you and note the seemingly desolate and inhospitable places in which plants have thrived. Given little choice, they set down their roots and hold on tightly, making the best of their situation. Then look at your own circumstances. Ask yourself if there is an unimagined source of strength that you can tap into. Look toward the future. Imagine a time in which you have widened a place for yourself and have flourished through your difficulties.

The smallest things in life, like the tiny sprouts, given time and the will to forge on, can overcome any circumstance and break down huge barriers. It can be tempting, however, when faced with rough or uncertain odds, to give up, to change direction, or to choose the easiest path. But within you, there exists the same resolve and fortitude as displayed in these courageous plants. You, too, in finding yourself in a tight spot, can look ever upward, grabbing hold where you can, using your determination to reach toward new heights.

Hi Being Me

Thank you for sharing this. It's a lovely piece of writing.

I just read through your thread - you have come a long way in accepting the uncertainty. And being able to find peace within yourself despite your circumstances is amazing.

Take care

Today, is our 20th wedding anniversary! Wow! I didn't think we would make it this far after all that happened in the last 3 to 4 years. It is quite a milestone, and I am going to try and enjoy that fact today, and not focus on the negatives we still have.

Life is good! And, no matter what happens with my M, it's going to get better. I have learned to be a better me, I am learning to let go of fear and neediness, and be a whole person in my own right. There are always going to be bumps in the road of life, and I will just be resilient, and strong. This is the only life I have, and I need to live it to the best of my abilities, skills, talents, emotions, love, passion, clarity of thought, and strengths.

In our kneck of the woods, spring has sprung. The sun is shining, there are blossoms everywhere, tulips and daffodils are flowering in our garden, and I am at peace with myself - at last! Y'all have a good day!

I'm liking your attitude and view on life. Have a good day, regardless of what H does, you definately deserve some credit.

Quote:

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Life is good! And, no matter what happens with my M, it's going to get better. I have learned to be a better me, I am learning to let go of fear and neediness, and be a whole person in my own right. There are always going to be bumps in the road of life, and I will just be resilient, and strong. This is the only life I have, and I need to live it to the best of my abilities, skills, talents, emotions, love, passion, clarity of thought, and strengths.

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Wow! that's a great summary, can I steal it? I'm not there yet, I'm still learning, but THAT is where I want to be!

I am very interested in what will be said this weekend. Let's see how they address our favorite topics. The golden question, will it hit home, will they listen?

To update my sitch a little .....

H was talking to me tonight, and admitting to feeling depressed, wondering if this is all there is to life. I think, like me, he is feeling the effects of our family being reduced from five, to three, since our 18 yr old twins left in February. I feel the same, but at least I am studying toward a new career, and have come to terms with the fact that life is not perfect, and one just has to get on with it. Still, I do understand how he is feeling. I did need reassurance that this didn't mean he was going to go rushing into another A, just for some excitement. He said, no, that there was no problems with me or our last child, but he was dissatisfied with his job, and wants to start his own business. He has started something so we will see where that goes.

Life marches on, 'eh! Always something!

Sounds fairly positive to me. As long as he's not associating his issues with the R. I would say be supportive with his new goal, be appart of the success he wants to obtain. But I would also say, don't get too wrapped up that you forget your own goals.

Hi Phoenix! Yeah, I am being as supportive as I am able at this time, considering that I have a lot on my plate, study-wise, right now (have exams this week). The only thing that concerned me, was that that kind of statement smacks of MLC, and I really don't want to go through all that - not again! Other than that, he seems happy enough. Phones me several times a day, asking what I'm doing, expressing how bored he is, and so forth.

I do want him to be happy in his career. Unfortunately, I am not very sympathetic (try not to show it, though) because he has reached his career goal, with my constant support. I put my own career dreams on hold, to be the mom and wife, and letting him do what needs doing to get the career he felt he wanted, and that would support our family. I worked long, boring jobs at secretarial positions, which would have stifled me except I was always lucky to be able to enjoy the people I worked with (please, don't think I feel like some kind of martyr or anything - I was grateful I could do that job and that I managed to get them - they helped with our family's income quite a bit). Now, I feel it is my turn to get some career satisfaction, so I would love for him to be supportive of my goals, and he is to a certain extent, but it doesn't help when he is negative about his job. Oh well! I guess, I am just a little nervous that I'm going to have to put aside my goals (I already had to change my studies from full-time to long-distance because he wanted to move here for the job he now has), in favour of his, again, but I won't next time (if there is a next time). I will continue to validate his feelings, and offer my support for his new venture, as long as it doesn't impact my studies and our family's lifestyle, and if it does, then I am going to have to re-evaluate our R. If he can't give what he was always willing to take, then I'm not sure if I can be with him. But, I'll worry about that if we get to that bridge.

Just doin' a little venting. I am not very worried, or angry - just thoughtful about it, and making sure I am prepared for whatever may come, and ready to set my boundaries. Now, I can go back to my books, and put it completely out of my mind.

Did you watch the General Conference? We couldn't find it on our cable TV, so I'm going to have to read it online. If you did, was there anything that stands out for you? Anything your W took away from it?

I am feeling really down in the dumps today, so just need to vent.

I am not very happy in our new city - I have made no friends to speak of, the church people here are very clicky, I have had to change from full-time studies to part-time (which means correspondence and will take longer), our house needs so much work, H is trying to start a new business, my two middle kids have gone back to our old city, and I rarely hear from old friends there (which is understandable since they have their lives, and so on). I am feeling really isolated, and don't want to be here. I still feel we moved here so that H could be near OW - don't have proof, and not looking for it. The only plus is that D13 has settled in very well. To top it all off, the housing market has boomed in our old city, and that has lost us something like $60,000 which would've been a nice bit of money to go into our retirement one day.

I am annoyed (mostly with myself) because I was so uncertain whether I even wanted back into this M, but was willing to give it a try. My instincts were screaming at me at the time to not leave our old city. But, oh no, I did just the opposite, and not much has worked out here for us. H is bored with his job, the transport he was counting on has gone out of business, the weather has been awful (we thought it would be better), I can't find a job comparable to the one I had, and living closer to OW has certainly not made a dent in my feeling trust for my H.

So! I am not a happy camper today. I have really tried very hard to make it work, and most days I succeed. I still feel, however, that I am the one that has made all the changes whereas H has done very little. At the moment, he is just ignoring me, because he thinks I should just move past it. Which I would, if he would just talk to me, and reassure me.

Agh! I'll get over it, but I think it's time to start planning what I should do about my life. Time to leave the pity party.