Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Divorced, But Not Done This one is all about me......

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Bruce, do you mind if I use your previous poem in my book?

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Which one? Uh Oh? An author battle. I too have many unfinished writing projects. Strangely enough I wrote a story several years ago where the wife leaves the husband (premonition) and a year later the H goes completely off the deep end and ends up in a county psychiatric ward.

This is one story I really want to pursue, especially given all the pain I have experienced in the last couple of years.

I guess we can set some goals and maybe try to motivate all the writers in the group.


Here's something that popped out recently.

"Shuffling yellow legal paper. Sound harsh, grating, grating too obvious, cutting.


Silence. White gray silence. I have no intention of talking, speaking, giving out thoughts to this disheveled and disconcerting, and disconsolate man.

“Not going to talk, eh?” Voice, raspy, sharp, trying, trying desperately to be ironic, only to be desperate.

“No.” Goddamn. The stupid inside voice should stay inside.

Inside. White. No, never white. Gray. Hardly. Pale. Cracking. Urine. Bleach. Putrid. Acrid. Burning. Lights. Fluorescent. Useless. Blurry. Somebody turn off the goddamn lights." (c) 2005

Nice stuff Bruce. Deep, but easy to get the message. Kind of like clockwork orange meets Norman Bates after he just got done stabbing her in the shower. he he he

You have that stuff down. Now is the time to incorporate your feelings I think. It will never so realistically leap from the "stupid inside voice" onto your paper as it will right now.

Of course, if we all go our separate ways to write stories then when will we find time to write on here?

P.S. Keep your poem for your own project. It was the one you wrote on your thread about a week or two ago. I'd have to search your thread for it.

Thanks,

I'm sure we will always find time for our bb friends.

This is like def Poetry jam!

I write too and so does Sadeyez.

Bethie

It's great to hear about some many creative ideas. This is GAL!!!

Wes I love your progress list. I'm so excited to hear that you're doing things for you.

Me you ask? Well, I'm trying to keep straight all the men I'm talking to online. It's fun and it feels good to get out of the house and be around people who are interested in having fun!!!

Take care

Libby

Libby,

That sounds great, but you didn't even check first if I was available. Or am I damaged goods?

Here's my update. Not much to tell. Another airplane flight today...to south dakota again. Another chance to write in my book which is what I did. Some writing last night as well.

Yesterday the tickets to a concert my XW had ordered finally arrived. She has asked me about them daily since for the past week. Basically she has a one track mind about these tickets, and it isn't even to someone that great. I was happy to see them arrive so I could get rid of them and her. I think she knew they came. Maybe she checked the mail or something. Every day she calls just once about them and if I'm not around leaves a message. Last night it was 3 times before I called and left a message that I had them and would drop them off at her place.

So I did a little housework, took the dog rollerblading (he's such a good blader...and so cute with those little skates on his feet. j/k) and then stopped by her place.

So I stopped by and since she apparently wouldn't leave her bedroom I came in there and threw the tickets on the bed, asked her son how he was doing, and then said. "well see ya"

She was all exited and said "I'm going to spin you"
I said "no you're not" and hightailed it for the door. She had come out but I just repeated "see ya later" and left.

She called this morning early before I left for work, but I was indisposed. She didn't leave a message and I didn't call back.

Last night might have been a little more rude than I intended, but oh well. For once I didn't notice anything about her. I couldn't tell you whether she looked good or what. I felt a little bad when I got home, but I guess I wasn't mean or anything, just out of character.

Have a nice weekend everyone. I have no plans except to avoid XW.

Hey Wez

What's up with you? For one, you are not damaged goods - don't you ever say that. Two, who cares if you're not available, women can still flirt with you and three, why the grumpy mood with XW?

Were you just not in a DB frame of mind?

Jo.

W.,

Bet that caught her attention; wonder how long before she calls and asks what you are mad about?

Enjoy the weekend.

Answer to how long...that was a message she left this morning that I didn't listen to.

I did something tonight that probably set me back a ton. After getting some books and walking the dog I stopped by her place. She excitedly visited with the dog and needled me about being angry at her. I told her I wasn't.

She brought up the girl I was previously dating and the other occasion I dashed off to a date. She said she was glad about that, but didn't look it. She also asked "so what are you doing? Speed dating?"

That's when I blew it. She teased me and I grabbed her. She said "this isn't a good idea" to cuddling and I said something about being a good idea.
She said "I've told you hundreds of time why it's not."
I said "I wasn't talking about sex."
And she said "then what were we talking about."
To which I said "I don't want sex with you. I want the whole thing."
She replied "we are friends."
And I told her "I want everything. Friends, sex, love, marriage....blah blah blah"....something along those lines.
At one point I hurt her feelings and she cried. Nevermind why.
Basically, I pursued to the max. I did say that I was happy with my life and fully expected to go on living it without her, but that we could have been good together and I miss sharing things with her. I also told her I hoped she dated so she could find out I'm not such a bad guy.

Was that it? No, I sent her an e-mail that expressed my thoughts better.

Oh well, what's done is done. Doesn't matter anyway. The simple truth that I am happy and excited about my own dreams still remains. She doesn't have to share them. She could be so lucky. We have a certain familiarity and comfortableness that just feels right when we are around each other, but I can have that with someone else. Or in time I can get used to being alone.

Actually, it feels like with all this silence, detaching, and distance that I wasn't being true to myself. Sure, she isn't in any place to handle that truth, but it's said. She knows my feelings and she can do what she wants with that information. I already told her not to think I'm angry, but I'm taking an extended break from her.