No email contacts either way. And since he has requested that I do not call him, I requested the same. Mostly just to see his reaction. And yes, this makes him angry. But, that's ok also. See, if he didn't care or was totally detached from us; there wouldn't be any reason for him to be angry, right???
The whole sitch is making me chuckle today. I was venting a bit, since I don't like being degraded (which I hear he is doing w/my family ) but it also means I am in control of my circumstances and not him. And yes, s9 is a checklist and yes, he is angry and no, I don't want that to make me angry. That's why I cut the convo short last nite. It would have blown up and burned a few bridges again!
So, details of his w/e!! he went to see his other kids. Couldn't figure out a thing to do w/them so hung out quite a bit at his ex's house!! Then sd16 wanted to show off her driving skills and they went down to an empty parking lot. Ex went ahead and let ss14 drive and ended up getting stopped by the cops! Ss14 was showing off, squealing tires and driving too fast and when the cops showed up, ex had him wheel around behind a building to change drivers but they were already caught by that time. Lucky for them, the cop knew sd16 and let them off.
The other stuff I heard about: ow is prominent in his life now, talked on and on about her; he already has bought another bike, had to proudly show off pics of it; ss20 is looking for dad to bail him out of financial trouble again and ex did his w/e check w/us while he was supposed to be having dinner w/the k's. Oh, and ex had tears in his eyes when he dropped ss14 at the foster care home, but hardly said a goodbye to sd16. I told their mom not to make too much of that, ex had tears when I had to move out and again when he came to visit us. But, I'm not sure why he didn't w/sd16.
To sum this up, I have put a lot of slack in the rope. I have to let him deal w/his own life for now and I do know that when he isn't venting to me, he's venting to s/o else. T
Don't know what to say T, except "Hi". I don't think you have any other choice than to let go of the rope. He has OW, interest primarily in other XW and kids with her, and apparently thinks that he has enough of an "in" with your family that he would degrade you to them.
My opinion is just to completely move on and put the onus entirely on him to decide whether he ever wants a R with you again. I wouldn't go to the extreme of never taking his calls, he is the father of your child, but I wouldn't let him presume that you are someone he can vent to and I certainly wouldn't take any negative comments from him. Just "act as if" you are completely unaffected by him.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Well, since I couldn't keep up w/Wes deciding to take over the bb today, I'll concede and let him have fun! Instead of posting on every1's thread today, I'm just going to make this one extra long!!!!
Back to the ? on the job sitch. Looks like the fates are working against me and since school starts soon (for k's), there won't be any moving for jobs. I'm not sure what has happened to the last couple; still no word back which doesn't seem good. I've looked over various job opportunities that are close and getting myself geared up to attack them! I can also get back into sub teaching for extra income. But that's my decision on the job sitch!
Ok Gabriel, maybe UD and I will plan a trip that doesn't conflict w/school! And please let me know if there are any good sex stories in Vegas!
Wes, don't know exactly what to say either! You're faster than me today on the bb! Ok, about the ex sitch. I haven't let go of the rope or moved on as of yet. Maybe I'm putting enough slack in it for him to hang himself! haha. j/k.
The OW hasn't been a long term thing yet, so I see it as just a distraction. He's having a rebound R and isn't dealing w/reality yet. So, I will sit back and wait for a while. The interest he has in the other ex and k's is just a checklist for guilt as UD mentions. I've seen too many interactions w/her where she berates him for not taking any responsibility as a father and he appeases her w/a visit and talks w/the k's. I'm going to take the responsibity of s9 as his sole parent and not involve exh the way his other ex does. The ball is in his court.
As far as the degrading issue; my dd from Mich has sided w/ex over all of this and is saying I am being so mean to him!! I am supposed to see her soon as both girls' 25th bday is tomorrow. Problem is, is I don't really want to! (now that is being terrible isn't it?) Not exactly sure how I will handle that yet, but will keep you posted!
I was just venting that I won't take his calls! I will, just had to release the anger first. He is angry over me not talking to him, and I will have to get the pic clear to him that I am not going to argue. I'm ready for his next contact now and plan on the 'playing hard to get' game.
To sum up what I'm doing, in essence I am getting my life on firm and stable ground. It's going to take a while yet, I have a lot of goals here, and I don't need too much of ex's cr*p getting in the way of that. But I still have the door wide open, I'm just working on the inside and not waiting in the doorway! (if that makes any sense!) T
Quote: To sum up what I'm doing, in essence I am getting my life on firm and stable ground. It's going to take a while yet, I have a lot of goals here, and I don't need too much of ex's cr*p getting in the way of that. But I still have the door wide open, I'm just working on the inside and not waiting in the doorway! (if that makes any sense!)
T!!!!
That's awesome. I can't wait until I can find my attitude like that again. I really use to not be a doormat! Honest! But I'm very proud of you fore finally reaching this point!
darn it! I just hate all this stupid luck I keep having!
-----bad news> skip if you wish, I'm just venting!
I was turned down for the position that I recently interviewed for. Something about my 'impressive qualifications' didn't quite fill their needs at this time.
Went to see my dd's for their bday yesterday and took them for dinner. The whole thing hit me as being too different. It's not the way we used to have bday's, all those stupid memories of bday's gone past keep popping into my head. Is there any way to get rid of them!?
Then on the way home, my car wobbled so bad I got off the e-way and took the backroads. I've noticed this b4, but it seems worse since having the flat a month ago. I have a feeling that the upper tie rod ends are shot, even tho ex told me during div they were fine.
Life is definitely trying to put me in a sour mood. But that isn't going to stop me!
-------good news! read if you dare!
I forced the smile on my face this morning, got around and did some cleaning that I keep putting off. (sorting out things from years past) Only spent a few minutes at it but that was enough to get a sense of accomplishment going!
S9 has been in a seriously good mood lately! I'm really surprised at this, as I started a new dietary supplement and we usually go through a bad spell as things take effect. He loved having dinner w/his sisters last nite, even tho crowds are sometimes too much on him. Even spoke their names when we said g'bye! This morning we wrestled together and I had eye contact and his attention for a good twenty minutes! He has had the giggles most of the afternoon, it's wonderful!!
A temp service called me yesterday while we were out and I went to apply w/them today. They have a position that is perfect for me, a bit closer than the previous one, and they are moving fast on getting me in! Contract is for 9 months and may go direct. I am excited again and hoping to land this one.
Now this is what has got me from sinking into despair! Funny - this was yesterday's horoscope, but it really is sort of my goal in life now, and gets hold of the basic db attitude!
Mulling over your past decisions and contemplating what might have been is guaranteed to make you feel crazy – so don’t do it, no matter what. Push aside all might-have-beens and concentrate on the here and now; you’ll find that people will sense the change in your energy and become much more receptive to your thoughts and ideas. Remember to keep that perspective as you go throughout your day – and beyond.
Well, Gabe, if I was closer to your part of the world, i'd invite you out for a drink tonight so we could cry in our beer together. oh, wait -- I hate beer!
I think that might be part of my mood here today; I'm looking 'hot' today, (the working out paid off, even tho I haven't done it in a couple of days and I've been doing my hair different lately) and there's no one around to appreciate it. The boys could really care less!
I don't like the bar scene tho, and I wouldn't want to get into convos w/any1 so guess I'm staying in and keeping this look all to myself!
I am missing the company of ex, even missing the phone calls where he dumped all his problems on me. But I have to let go for now. I have a feeling that he will be back around; there's been too many times he hasn't been sure of the div, and he keeps trying hard to push me farther away. That's why I have backed up b4 things got any more out of control.
Know what my secret is that is getting me so pumped lately? FOOTBALL
3 more weeks! I start to feel down and I turn my thoughts to that. I'm using that philosophy w/ex also. NOBODY bothers me while a game is on, so why should I let him bother me while my life is going on? He can wait until a commercial break! hahahaha!
GO BLUE!!!!!
) but it also means I am in control of my circumstances and not him. And yes, s9 is a checklist and yes, he is angry and no, I don't want that to make me angry. That's why I cut the convo short last nite. It would have blown up and burned a few bridges again! 
he went to see his other kids. Couldn't figure out a thing to do w/them so hung out quite a bit at his ex's house!! Then sd16 wanted to show off her driving skills and they went down to an empty parking lot. Ex went ahead and let ss14 drive and ended up getting stopped by the cops! Ss14 was showing off, squealing tires and driving too fast and when the cops showed up, ex had him wheel around behind a building to change drivers but they were already caught by that time. Lucky for them, the cop knew sd16 and let them off. 
I don't think you have any other choice than to let go of the rope. He has OW, interest primarily in other XW and kids with her, and apparently thinks that he has enough of an "in" with your family that he would degrade you to them. 
