For me, the O thing is tricky...sometimes I O, sometimes I don't...and the times that I don't, it's usually not important to me...until it is.
As far as H goes, sometimes he asks about it and other times he doesn't. I really don't want him asking all the time, because, again, it's not all that important to me and the asking can be annoying.
Anyway, I am glad I went for it...when in doubt, I will do it again! I am starting to get the hang of this HD stuff!
As far as his finalizing comment...I let that be the final word, for now, but we'll see how the weekend plays out. I am starting to get the hang of this self-assertive stuff!
I am with you on the sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. And the when I don't it is not a big deal for me unless I am close I then will have him finish the deal regaurdless.
Funny thing my H has been back on his Zoloft and now he is sometimes having a problems with the O. No matter how long and how close he gets it just does not come. It does not stop him from wanting sex just sometimes it ends up a unfinished deal for him to. Starting thinking to myself last time all the guys that have problems with staying power may want to invest in Zoloft.
Wait if I got this right and you were the LD in the relationship and he was the HD. You are now meeting and matching his needs and he is saying not tonight wow. What a twist.
Hope you have a great weekend! Throw his ass down on the bed and tell him how much you want him. Bet he will change his mind about the weekends activitys lol.
Quote: Throw his ass down on the bed and tell him how much you want him. Bet he will change his mind about the weekends activitys lol.
If I did this, my bf would push me aside-- nicely-- and walk out of the room. We watched a movie where in one of the scenes a husband and wife spontaneously ML in the back of their station wagon on their property out in the country (something we could easily do at my house in the country). My bf said with some disgust, "What are they? Sex maniacs?"
Chrissy... Myabe your H can try Wellbutrin... no problems with O with that medicine ( and can even make the O's more intense). Then again, your H is the HD one, so maybe it's not such a good idea...he would be chasing you down all day!
And you are right--- I was the LD one throughout most of the marriage, for various reasons; having kids was the final nail in the coffin. I went through many changes when I turned 40 and was able to rekindle my desire, only to find that H had mixed feelings about reconnecting with me. It's hard to understand why we stayed together so long....I guess both of us had parents with miserable marriages and we just went with the program. I have been able to shake things up with my new-found sexuality ( unfortunately it's still easy for me to land in LD land so I have to work at this) and H now tries to meet me half-way, but he still pulls a lot of controlling and distancing measures. I keep trying to move ahead in my growth all the same, and get a lot of support and encouragement on this board.
As far as jumping his bones...it's a tricky one because he doesn't seem to like overt displays which make him feel pressured, but if I get to a naturally exuberant place and can withstand the possible rejection, I'll go for it!
OK...H and I ML this morning at my initiation, but I really don't feel good about the whole thing because it came from a reaction of feeling controlled by him. It feels like he has the rule book and I try to stomp on it, not about us coming together from a good place ( which did happen a few days ago). Things really seemed a lot less confusing when we were on a schedule, so maybe I'll suggest going back to that. We seem to have difficulty distancing ourselves from each other in a way where it's not so personalized. The schedule was good because there were planned times for us to come together again.
H is working today but just called and was very pleasant, joking that he is off the hook for tonite sex-wise. He wants us to go out to a nice dinner without the kids. Going to keep the good EC going, if I can.
