Hey YoYo I don't agree...I don't think you backslid, I think you are doing really well. You are not starting any arguments like you use to that is a backslide, you are just acting as if and good on you. Your H is certainly showing you some little signs. Hey if H gets this job overseas will OW be going??? I am jealous I wish my H would show me the interest yours is showing and Anna naked cartwheels that would be a vision, don't let dodger hear you say that as I am sure it would peek his interest.(hehehe). Anyway YoYo keep up the good work you are doing really well even if you don't feel it at the moment. Go back and read some of your own posts and see what a real backslide is and maybe then you will believe us and see that you are making real progress......Kim
KDK/Kim - Thanks for trying to reassure me that I didn't backslide. I sure did not start any arguments. That's probably because our contact for the last two days have been limited to phone texts. I have also been really zipping my mouth. Not saying anything rather than saying something wrong.
Somehow, I am not too sure if there are really positive baby steps from H. I am still quite confused that I don't know what is "normal" or an improvement. I have to go away for work for two days, and did text H to ask if he would handle the kids while I am away, otherwise I would plonk them over at my parents' place. H did say that he would take the boys to school on Wed and Thurs morning; and also pick them up from my parents' place on Wed night. SO, I guessed in regards to him doing some "fatherly duty", well, that would be an improvement, I guessed.
And Kim - I don't know if the OW would be following H if H takes up the overseas job. In one of our earlier discussion, he said "She won't be following. Do you think that her parents will allow her to follow someone who's she is not married to, someone who is not even divorced?" To which I answered "I don't know. So many things that I thought wouldn't happened have happened. SO, I really don't know". Another time when the issue came up, H said "I don't know. Maybe she will come or you guys will come". So, basically, I really don't know what would be the outcome. If she follows, she would have to find a new job at the foreign country, as I think she would have problems getting a dependent's visa in the foreign country. This is cause he is still legally married to me. Currently, she does have a good job and apparently earning good bonuses. So, if she does give up everything to follow H...then I supposed she does LOVE him?? Anyway, H has not updated anything on this "potential" overseas job. I don't want to ask either. I will wait for him to tell me himself, I guessed.
Well, both of them plus a group of others will be going to the states this Friday for work. I have to STOP thinking that they will be hanky-pankying over there. *sigh* HARD!! But I must really focus on more positive stuff. You know, I have been saying that "I don't care about whatever H does!" and yet when I see a glimpse of old H, I get all soft and mushy and yearning for him. YOYO! Detach!Detach!Detach!! Really need to think of positives. Perhaps maybe a day of pampering at the spa.... mmmm massages and facials
Have to say that I was glad when H Im'ed me awhile ago. Not much - Just asked me how's everything and how's the boys. He said he'll be back late as his flight only arrives at about 10 pm. Told him that I will be leaving town for work early tmrw am, by road. And he queried if I was gonna drive ALONE. When I answered "NO', he seemed relieved. Is this a small baby step? That he is concerned about me?
Well it does show that he cares and that's something so yeah I'd say it's a baby step. Who know's what it will be like when you get back as well this has given you both some time apart. You should try not to contact him while you are away for the 2 days and see if he messages you. You can check up on the boys with your parents. Ooooh I can't wait for your update when you get back. Have a good trip and have fun out of office hours while you can.....
Hey my fellow sister goddesses...Btw, I am not away on a leisure trip...am actually on a work assignment. Am still away, will only be back home this evening.
Well, H came back on Tuesday night from him trip. We didn't talk much. He was busy packing his bags for his two-week trip so was walking in and out of the room. I, on the other hand, was watching telly. He said goodnight, and that was it. But in the middle of the night, I felt that he actually came to hug/caress me abit but I din't stir or acknowledge it. The next morning, he came back and hug/caress me abit again and I couldn't resist and reciprocated. We ML and had to hurry up as my work-mate was gonna pick me up from home for the trip. He was a little amused by my "dash" to get myself ready for work. About noon, H called me...but it was more about if I used his credit card for any internet transaction as there seemed to be a fraud. Later at about 6 pm, he called again. This time, our convo was a little deeper. H asked initially about our fax machine (to sort out the cc fraud) then, the convo went like this:
H: Company X has just called me and they are going to send a formal offer. Me: OK H: They asked who will be following me, and I said me alone for a few months first, and then maybe end of the year you and the kids will follow. Me: *Silence* See what is the offer first. H: Can you go and check the when does the school year start for S8 at the International School? Me: Err..OK. When I get back home. We'll see how. H: Or would you be okay if I work there alone for awhile? I don't want you to leave your (good) job. Don't worry, she will not be following me. Me: err.. Ok. The fax paper is in the drawers... (trying to change subject...don't know what else to say) H: Okay then, I will keep you informed! Me: Okay. Bye.
What do you make of that? Is it a real positive step? I am afraid to get my hopes too high up.
Anyway, I called H on his mobile at about 8pm to talk to the boys. H sounded okay. Then later, I found out about 1/2 hour later that my dad actually asked H what is his decision about us, when he was over at their house to pick the boys up. I hope my dad has not bring all my DBing efforts to zero. But I guessed what is done is done. No point dwelling on it. I guessed the little positive that things are not as bad is that when I called to talk to the boys, H didn't sound upset or anything. I will let the incident with my dad pass until H brings it up. Otherwise, I will feign ignorance.
Hey Sister Goddess... So are you staying in a hotel on your company's tab? Sweet...
To me it definitely sounds like your H is making big strides back toward you. He is nowhere near ready to give up on your marriage, so there's so much opportunity.
But even more important, is how well you're handling the roller coaster. Specifically, your low-key refusal to ride it with him. I don't know if I would have your strength to be so calm with his constant waffling (although I hope I would). You really are doing a great job.
Go chicky babe. Yes I know it was a business trip but hey he is contacting you not really you contacting him. Good one. He is definately interested, but take a breath and keep going like you are. You are doing so well, now is the hard part and not to get too excited and push them the other way like I did. Play it cool and I think you might just get there. Fingers crossed long way to go but you are certainly on the right track. OOOOh I am so excited for you and I have crossed my fingers and toes and arms and legs and now I can't type anyway you get the gist of it....DKD Hey and Yoyo you get more action than any of us....lucky thing
Uao, It hink he is changing and it is true, you are getting a lot of action. It is so exciting. My H this week has change a little bit. call me to let me know he was going to play soccer and he mentioned at what time he was going to me home. Call me yesterday to let me know he was meeting his friend and ask me if it was okay, weird. Anyway. Last night after meeting our friend he put his hand on my head and he went to sleep like that. For the past 6 weeks he goes to his side of the bed and turns his back on me. Last night he sleep right next to me on my side of the bed, sound ridiculous but for me is a change. I don't talk about our relationship, do not say ILY but when e got closer last night I kind of touch his face for a little while until he felt slip. no good but it felt so good!. take care.
HARD!! But I must really focus on more positive stuff. You know, I have been saying that "I don't care about whatever H does!" and yet when I see a glimpse of old H, I get all soft and mushy and yearning for him. YOYO! Detach!Detach!Detach!! Really need to think of positives. Perhaps maybe a day of pampering at the spa.... mmmm massages and facials 
but I din't stir or acknowledge it. The next morning, he came back and hug/caress me abit again 
Hey and Yoyo you get more action than any of us....lucky thing 