Hi Gabe, Swimmer... It's a Friday night and I'm sitting at home after doing a bunch of chores today and hanging out with friends at the lodge. My XW's birthday is next Tuesday so I picked up a small present and a blank card - no pre-printed cards for exwives, can you imagine?
Anyway, I mentioned that I had picked out something for her birthday and all of the guys were shocked. I explained that it was just to show her that I remembered and it was sort of a peace offering. I'm not angry or bitter any longer. I just wish it never happened but it did. Some of my friends just can't understand I guess.
My kids came over last night and we ate dessert together. I had turkey with friends in the afternoon and my buddy's wife is an excellent cook so dessert really wasn't what I was looking for. However, it was with my kids so what the heck. D18 brought her BF with her - he is kind of a drip, but she loves him so I keep my mouth shut. My boys came too and so we ate and played cards. They brought a pile of turkey and stuffing and two pies! I couldn't eat all of that stuff in a week! Have no idea why XW bought such a large turkey, the kids and MIL and SIL would never have been able to eat all of that. Plus she is taking the kids to visit friends down on the gulf so she had to know they wouldn't be home to eat the leftovers. However, she always did a good job on Thanksgiving and I'm going to appreciate the lefovers.
I missed turkey day with the family but I managed. At the lodge tonight I also got grilled about what I was doing for Christmas and New Years. I have to tell you that I have some very good friends - they are all checking and making sure I'm not alone on these holidays. Really, I'm not hurting that badly, I'll be O.K. whatever. I might work "security" at one of the New Years Eve parties - I can make some much needed "cash under the table" and keep occupied too.
O.K., so I've been working on some goals. Frankly, I don't know how good my chances are, but I want XW back. I'm laying back right now, giving her space and no pressure. Haven't talked with her in over a month. I txt'd her a thankyou for the leftovers, no response but I didn't expect one.
Oh one other thing. Since XW never could handle typical spicy and tomato"y" Italian food, I've been cooking with D18 and passing on family recipes. She took a part-time job at a new Italian restraunt in town. I stopped for lunch today and the owner stopped to talk. "Oh, you're 'D18' father. She is so sweet and she told us how you make your tomato sauce and how good it is." I started to speak but he continued "We do it the traditional way at home too, but when it has to stay warm for hours we modify it a little to preserve it." We talked food for a while and then my meal came and he excused himself. When I was leaving he waved to me and came over, asked how I liked my lunch (I really need his recipe for Tuscan Sun Dried Tomato Soup, it was excellent!). As I was going out the door he said "You have a very sweet daughter", I said "I'm a lucky guy". He said "Yes, but she's a lucky daughter, you did it right." MAN! I gained 2 inches in my chest and must have smiled and glowed all the way to the truck. But you know I didn't do it alone. XW is an excellent mom, I just wish I had been smart enough to see the signs and correct our issues before they became mountains.
Hey Swimmer, sorry you were working on turkey day. In typical fashion, some of the citizens managed to pile their cars into stationary objects or hurt themselves in some other manner. There are folks working out there who come to their rescue and, in case they haven't said thanks, let me. Thanks for being "on duty". Hope you don't have to spend Christmas or New Year's Eve at the firehouse...or maybe you're like me and would welcome the diversion. Hey, come January, if economics permit, I may be down in the gulf area. I'll give you a shout and maybe we can get together and have a few beers.
AV8R I like your approach on W Bday. My X's XX did the same and she strung him along like a violin so I will not do the same. Still liked your methods. Are you still lifting with your kids?
Worked by choice on Turkey day. I a Vol FF and an UnderEmployed Systems Analyst. Skills were directed toward large corporatios with Mainframes and Midranges. Not much in demand in Baldwin Co. So off to online school to get a CCNA (Cisco Certified Network Associate) and MCSE (Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer). Need to stay close for D11.
Few opportunities for 50 yr old analysts. Fewer still for ones still in the Navy Reserves with a deployable job.
Be glad to have a few with you. If you come down email at doc_hawkins@yahoo.com. Best Wishes.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
Now hold on a minute girl, haven't seen a post from you for about a month What's going on with you?
I recently moved to Surviving the D. My XW just got married! D final September 23, married November 26. Suppose this was all part of the plan and she was having an A? Or am I jumping to conclusions?
Anyway, I need some of your "cheers" and because I'm really down. This D is DONE.
Hi Swimmer, sorry it took so long for me to respond. I recently moved to Surviving the Big D. While I was thinking about how to attract my XW back, she was getting married! Yup, she waited the obligatory 60 days and married the guy who's name was mentioned to me by an anonymous caller back in April. The guy is from Toledo, OH and he moved down just before Thanksgiving, bought a house in the same town our house was in. They went to the gulf over Thanksgiving, sort of a honeymoon and took the kids.
Kind of knocked me for a loop but I'm getting back to normal again.
I hope you are well. 
What's going on with you? 
Yup, she waited the obligatory 60 days and married the guy who's name was mentioned to me by an anonymous caller back in April. The guy is from Toledo, OH and he moved down just before Thanksgiving, bought a house in the same town our house was in. They went to the gulf over Thanksgiving, sort of a honeymoon and took the kids.