Well, she was successful with the pendente lite hearing. I've got 14 days to get out of the house. Today I lost my W, my kids and my home. No, it isn't final, but there is no question that the W is encouraged by this result. Plus I have to pay child support and 56% of the household bills. In other words, I lost 60% of my take home pay. In short, there isn't enough left to pay my personal bills and rent an apartment.
I'm feeling low now, but tomorrow I'll reform my backbone and carry on. But I have abandoned the Newcomer forum and will move over here. However I don't have any hope for resurrecting my M. Life sucks!
Thanks Kevin, I know I'm in good company on this forum.
Realizing that I can't stop the D and if I let it go to trial I'll get gutted by the lady judge I asked the W to discuss the finances with me. We talked pleasantly for about an hour and come up with an outline that I can live with. I'm going to drag my attorney in to discuss it with hers and we are going to come up with an agreement that we can present in court. Dragging this out will not change the outcome and just cost both of us more $$.
I'll continue DB'ing and be looking for advice on how to win her back after a cooling off period. And I'll spend as much time with my kids as possible. I just really dread the day I move. We haven't told them about my being ordered out and I really don't know how to approach it. This part will really suck
AV8R Already moved out and found the same as you. Cannot stop a D in Alabama. On Moving out Good 1. Not being beaten Emotionaly. 2. Reminders are less of what could have been 3. Your time is more of your own Bad 1. $$$ 2. People state on what DBing has on your M. Well if you have no contact there is no effect. 3. Can't even change your oil on your vehicle. I do not like this apt type living and withing a year will change it. 4. Fewer distractions when you are at the bottom of the roller coaster. I read a lot, pray more, and live an extreemly quiet life.
Best Wishes
BTW You will be suprised on what little you can live on but I'm happy with having flush toilets and Pizza on demand.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
Well, now I really belong on this forum. Tomorrow I go to sign the papers; shortly after that we will have a court date and it will be over. I don't believe I'll sleep very well tonight.
I expect I will go very dark when I move this weekend. I've got some bitterness to get over and have to regain my PMA. She feels she is now in power and, with the flaky legal system balanced against the man, she does have some measure of power right now. But once I'm out she's on her own. Good luck girl, you didn't know how much I protected you from so now you can experience it for yourself.
Hey Swimmer, how ya doing? I'm seeing some of what you pointed out earlier in the week.
Moved about 90% of my stuff Saturday. Heavy tools will have to stay for another week while I locate a storage area that I can afford.
Had a few emotional moments but kept up appearances, no tears until I was alone in my new home, sitting in my old easy chair surrounded by boxes. XW had packed two boxes of kitchen stuff and even bought a few things for me that we didn't have duplicates of. She was cold, but thoughtful during the move. Bought me some towels and a shower curtain too.
But she also packed two champaigne glasses we got as part of the 2000 New Years Eve Party we attended. That night she wore a striking red dress and looked great. She and I danced all night, all very romantic and had a great time. The glasses screamed "get out of my life" while I unwrapped them. A few more tears.
Do I still love her? I know I love the woman I married 18 years ago, but this person isn't her. Is she still in there somewhere? I may see an occasional glimpse. Could we ever get back together and should I try? God, if I only knew the answer to that one. My heart wants to try, but my brain asks why I would let myself in for more of what I had over the last seven months. Could we be friends? Another good question. I guess it is too soon after the break-up to make any intelligent decisions. Right now I'll work on putting my apartment, and my life, into some order.
Don't cry because it's over...Smile because it happened.
Journaling: Located a storage room that I can access 24/7. Though I'm not sure why I think I'll need to get in with any frequency. I'll not have a place to use these tools any time soon.
Picked up some of the heavier stuff yesterday; the Ice Queen was there in full force. She got what she wanted, why the cold, almost angry, attitude? The boys and I will go to the gym after work today and I'll pick up some more stuff. I'll avoid her as best I can because, right now, I don't think she even wants a friend.
S15#2 is the more sensitive of the twins. He seems quieter than he was and his report card has taken a dive. I think this D has had a greater impact on him than his brother and sister. I'll try to get some one-on-one time with him. That is hard because the kids measure the attention each one gets now and I hear comments about who is best loved. This situation may call for some counseling for the kids, for crying out loud.
AV8R Sorry not keeping up with your thread. Sounds like you are doing as best as possible. I believe the older the kids the worse it is. Only reason I still am in Bama is D11 though I do like the state.
I'm sure you will check the theripists carefully. Lots of idiots with degrees. If we fought wars like many of them fight divorces we'd give BinLaden a parade.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
Hi Swimmer and WCW, hope you guys are doing well. The last few days have been more reorganizing my GAL than anything else. The boys and I have been hitting the gym on schedule. I am getting more concerned about S15#2 - he is more quiet than even he used to be and D18 told me XW received a note from one of his teachers about homework he has not been turning in. He and I need some one-on-one time to see if we can't get this turned around.
I still have a ton of tools at the house that I need to pick up. When I stop in to get some stuff the XW makes it a point to be gone, in the shower or something. Fine with me, I don't need the interaction.
Watched some college football and the baseball games on Saturday. There were four of us, on a Saturday night, sittng at the lodge drinking beer and watching baseball. Someone made the comment about 4 old men sitting around watching baseball and drinking beer on a Saturday night. Yup, we sure have dropped out of the mainstream. The highlihgt of my weekend was getting my used washer/dryer in place and working.
The airplane is down for annual inspection this week - and the weather is beautiful, of course. If it is ready this weekend I'm taking the boys and we're going to fly somewhere. The fun is in the trip, not the destination...just like life itself!
Not much else to report. WCW, I've been checking up on you and I'm sorry to see your H seems to be getting difficult again. Hopefully the time he spends on his trip will give him time to miss you a little bit.
The boys and I will go to the gym after work today and I'll pick up some more stuff. I'll avoid her as best I can because, right now, I don't think she even wants a friend.
Getting any fly time?