Hello Everyone I was locked out of my other thread so here is my new one.
By the way Happy Belated Fathers Day to all the daddys out there.
So....I ended up seeing H all weekend because my stepson and then Fathers Day. I have learned that we get along when we are together and when we are not there is always the bickering. I have figured out that I give to much help to my husband so that he can see D1. His car is still broke down so I take Hannah to see him. I kept Devin on Thursday and took him to school Friday and then picked him up. Dont get me wrong I dont mind at all but I think that H needs to take more responsibility for his children.
Friday is when I found out that H was with OW in Vegas for my birthday. I dont know why people have to show you pictures...I think that it hurts more. H said that she was at the same wedding and they got together for a quick pic. Remember he told me that he wasnt around her at all that weekend. Saturday...I picked up Devin and took Hannah and Deving to get pictures together. The pics turned out great. Then when we got back to H sisters house (where H is living)and I went with his family to do the birthday thing for H mom. Everything went okay. Like I said we get along when we are together. Sunday...I dropped Hannah off at H house and H was in a bad mood with me. It started off when I called him in the morning to set up the plans for the day. I said Happy Fathers day and then he started complaining about not having a car to take the kids somewhere. I apologized that he is having those problems and he hung up on me. H wants me to help him get a car. When I got to the house he was real short with me and told me that he doesnt need my help with a car and that he is never moving home because he isnt in love with me and that he cant force himself to love me. It killed me because I come out of my way so that he can see his kids and then he hits me with these comments. I cried when I got in the car all the way from Covina to Seal Beach where I took my dad and grandpa to breakfast. Then later on when I picked up daughter he still didnt talk very much and of course didnt offer to talk about anything. Today...H calls in the morning to let me know what Devin is doing today since he is out of school and then tells me that he was looking for a car on the internet and he found a used Mercedes that he is going to look at today. I told him that was great and then he said .... I told my sister that if we get back together you will probably want to drive the Mercedes and I will drive the Magnum. WTF? Yesterday we will never be together again and now I might want to drive the car if we do.
Sorry this is so long but I wanted you to see why I get confused with the way he changes. Why do we get along when we are together? Why does he ask if I am with this other guy? Why is he so wishy washy? and What should I say or do? Any insight will be helpful.
Reading postings today, I think Father's Day has really thrown us all for a loop. I'll bet it's thrown most of our WAS for a loop too.
I guess my advice is too ignore what he says... good or bad. It's like he's constantly checking your reaction and seeing what happens when he pushes different buttons.
I thought I lost you. Unfortunately another thread has to be opened. Be strong, from what I've read in the past, I know you can do it. You're the good person here!!
I really want to be strong its just hard sometimes. I hate having OW thrown in my face. I dont accept the calls anymore and then people feel like they need to give me information....Info hurt more sometimes. I want to beat him up sometimes....kiss him sometimes...and hate him the rest of the time. How can someone that is doing wrong be so rude and uncaring to the person that they are rude to.
I feel like I have had enough...today he put the cherry on the Sunday. H is so mean to me...he was making fun of me for DBing...he must have gone through my car this weekend and saw my books.....he was yelling at me....calling me names....and then he said...stay calm Michelle....Your book tells you not to pay attention to me....look at my baby steps...then he starts laughing at me telling me how dumb I am. He starts talking really calm and is very sarcastic in his words. He told me not to cry because the book says not too! I am destroyed today and am hurting....he thinks everything is so funny. What is wrong with me? I am very depressed today and I dont know what to do
That is just pure meanness. He's mocking you. Is this relationship worth saving? Is he looking for more stuff, and putting a sarcastic twist on it, to justify his own actions? Is he trying to push you away?
Mean to say the least, but did you notice that he had to have read it to know what to make fun of???? There was a person on this board that I used to write with when I first started coming here and her H found the books and accused her of trying to be manipulative. People mock what they dont know. The basic principles of this book tell you to work on yourself, so there is nothing wrong with it. Dont let his naive way of looking at things crush you. But you do have to decide if you want to be in this verbally abusive sitch. People have said alot of bad things about my H and what he has done over the past yr, but I can say to you, that he is very rarely mean, and never name calls. Please take care of you and D. You do have to deal with him for the next few years because of your D, but do you want it be hostile. He needs to get some anger management.
Wow! I'm trembling with anger here. I cannot believe the way he treats you. He does not deserve to have any access or communication with you. DB your heart out... for your own sake. Get centred, detached and happy within yourself. Cut off all contact. I know none our our WAS are saints, but this guy is cruel.
I don't know why I put up with it! I am really so hurt today because I feel like I am trying to do things to better myself and then I get made fun of. It sure doesn't sound if anything is going to work for me now! How can someone be so mean to someone who cares so much for them. Please be hnest doesn't it sound as if he is just pushing me far away because maybe he doesn't have the balls to come forward and end it with me. I never thought in a million years that we would go through a D but it looks like that is the route that this is headed for. What do I say or do now?
