Quote: one of the reasons I am in my current down on marriage mood is my H guilted me out of visiting my sister for a week.
I don't know all the details, but this is bothersome. H may be selfish and immature and make unreasonable requests. I think it's important for you to acknowledge your choices. You chose not to go on the trip.
H may be giving you some lousy choices, but be careful about playing along with his game. There's a difference between choosing to be loving, regardless of the response, and enabling someone's immaturity.
JJ.......I am not putting YOU down only making one point. It don't seem like your that independent if you would allow your husband to tell you that you couldn't go somewhere or do something that YOU wanted to do.
It's pretty simple..if you want to go don't let him get you down....GO. It sounds like an awesome time for you and your sisters. I wouldn't want to miss out on something like that.
Quote: Cally, not to take this thread off track, but how would a guy tell the difference between a put-off from a LDW, kind of a no sex, and we are arguing and if the guy did everything right, the LDW would want sex?
Lou....I can see how the whole thing could be confusing for a man. I'm with Cally...there are times when I would have liked my H to come forward after an argument, even in my LD days. He tends to retreat and get lost in his own hurt world. I am also understanding better than in order for him to move from desire to arousal, he needed to feel from me warmth, kindness, comfort, acceptance...and this bored me. What can I say? I like some of the Badboy stuff.
( JJ...good points here on the thread about taking that trip)
Usually I am the more frugal one in our household and my H made the argument that perhaps we should pay off some of our debt before I take a trip. The thing that p*sses me off is that as far as I'm concerned the reason why we have debt to pay off is that my H made some very financially irresponsible decisions to quit jobs he didn't like over the last several years. It's okay for me to share the responsibility for decisions he made due to his eternal misery but it's not okay for me to do something slightly irresponsible just to have some fun. I feel like there will never be any equity in this relationship because my H will always be more miserable than me and therefore feel like he deserves more resources.
However, I am willing to acknowledge that by choosing to remain married to my H through all his unemployment fiascos, I did accept responsibility for half the debt and therefore I am choosing to do the mature frugal thing and not take the trip. Please consider my previous post on the topic to be a variety of Type 7 sour grapes along the lines of "I will never have any fun as long as I am married to this moody LD Type 4.".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I suspect that our finances aren't the real reason my H doesn't want me to take the trip. We have a good deal of debt at the moment but we are both earning more money than ever before so things don't feel real tight. Besides, as I said before, I'm generally the more frugal spouse. I think he fears that I will hook up with a HD lumberjack given the opportunity.:p
I called him to check in as usual this afternoon and he could tell I was not in the greatest of moods. He complained that I shouldn't call him at work if I'm in a bad mood because his job s*cks enough as it is. I replied that since he has requested that I call him at work everyday he's going to know that I'm in a bad mood if I don't call. Then he said (I am not kidding) "I just like to think of you at home thinking happy thoughts about sex while I'm at work.".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I need help. I have been reading the posts on the SSM and I am still confused. My husband would rather masterbate then ML to me. I feel so rejected to know he is getting off by himself in the bathroom, and I am alone in the bed, frustrated. This has been going on for a while now. He likes to be affectionate, cuddle, a kiss here and there. He likes it when I massage him, but i can not go near the forbidden zone. I finally bought myself a vibrator, but it just isn't the same. The Orgasms are great but I miss the intimacy.
Go to the main index. choose sex starved marriage and then click on post to start your own thread. Tell us all about your sich, how long you've been married, kids? etc. and we'll try to help. Many of us have been in the same situation and many of us have found help on this BB.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Quote: in order for him to move from desire to arousal, he needed to feel from me warmth, kindness, comfort, acceptance...and this bored me. What can I say? I like some of the Badboy stuff.
IHJ, I hear a few women talk abut the good things they want in a man but I see a few of them just going ga ga over some biker type.
Quote: He tends to retreat and get lost in his own hurt world
I am "Guilty" IHJ.
JJ sorry to hear Mr W was unemployed and wants you to pay part/half of the bills.
Lumber jacks have lots of machinery nowdays. They are more like back-hoe operators than ax swingers. Less mucsular but they have better backs. Logging industry had the highest workers compensation insurance rates because of all of the injuries. Machinery made the work safer.
I know what you meant by "lumber jack" the strong he-man type.
How much money can you spend on a remote island in Alaska? It might be cheaper to go than to stay home. And three sisters spending time together away from the hassles of daily life? That sounds like heaven to me.
My W has been gone 3 of the 4 weeks of June, and, while I enjoy the freedom (a lot ) I miss her and the kids terribly.
Show your man who's boss!
Paul, off to join his lady in the land of the rising sun
) I miss her and the kids terribly.