IJ.......you are right he didn't try to hide it what so ever. He did it right on the screen name we both use.
Green...I did confront him first thing this morning. I was so hurt and angry. Maybe I should have approached him more calmly. I wasn't yelling but was angry. I did print it out. His response was this.....it was only a joke. I just did it to get your goat. If I really was going to try something do you think I would use our screen name? I don't even have a screen name I just use ours because I don't feel I do anything on there to hide.
I told him I thought do to our situation it was heartless, mean and ruthless. I told him I never do anything like that even though I am the one that is sex starved. I just sit here and patiently try to work with you all the time. And when you have the LD seeing 40 and horny really hurt me and angered me to no end. If you are why not show it. ARGH! I know I said things I shouldn't have as always probably. That is the biggest thing I am trying to work on.
My response to his...he just did it as a joke to get your goat was....BULLSHIT!
"IF" he did intend it as some cruel joke...then that's exactly what it was, intentionally cruel, intentionally mean, and out of line. But my gut says it was no joke. He put it out there....he will get bites off of it from OW and he darned well knows it. But now he can use this "it was just a joke when I signed up" to playdown when W do contact him. If I were you....I wouldn't fall for this.
IMPO...he's crossing a line and he's expecting you to be ok w/it because now he can blame you of "checking up on him"...so he did it because he knew you'd be checking....just to check if your checking...know what I mean? All the while taking the focus off of the real problem between the two of you.
I don't know what else to say! You are such a sweetheart...you don't deserve this kind of treatment. I'm not a violent person but I'd gladly take a punch or two at your H on your behalf...even if he WAS just doing this to "get your goat." It's not nice and it's not fair to you.
Stay strong. I've said a prayer for you and your children...and your H too. Let God lead you to the right decision here...even if it is not what you think it should be!
Take care o' you. One more time. (((((((((cally))))))))) K
Quote: While at work my husband was on the computer and signed up yet again at some personal sex site. Saying he is......40 and HORNY is his title. Looking for a one on one encounter with a woman. He says he is looking for someone interested in messing around without any commitments, for right now.
The others have good advice on this. How about turning the tables and answering his ad under a pseudonym and set up a meeting?
Quote: Here he has a beautiful wife that loves him and has been hurting over his lack of drive for years. But he is 40 and horny!!! I have landed this really good job and could support my children myself. I am ready to call it quits. Seeing this was such a slap in the face. I don't know what more I can try.
A calm, reasoned confrontation over this sounds like a good idea.
Quote: Your pseudonym suggestion is IMO, a pretty good one. That would be a good way to remove all doubt now as to his true intent wouldn't it?
That it would, GEL. OTOH, it may give just the kind of newness that Cally's H needs for appropriate stimulation (wink...wink...nudge...nudge)--especially if she wears some, shall we say, out-of-character outfit or makeup.
I see what you are saying...but I suspect that if he should show up and he sees her there...he's going to feel trapped and caught. But, you never know the other might happen.
But how would you feel if you were in her shoes and your spouse showed up, not knowing it was you who would be there. IMO there would still be a BIG problem.
Quote: I suspect that if he should show up and he sees her there...he's going to feel trapped and caught.
Point taken. How did I miss that?! An embarrassment when you consider that I list Cheaters among my guilty pleasures.
Quote: But, you never know the other might happen.
Call me an optimist there.
Quote: But how would you feel if you were in her shoes and your spouse showed up, not knowing it was you who would be there. IMO there would still be a BIG problem.
I can certainly see where you're coming from. This brings to mind the urban legend of cyber-lovers who find out upon meeting that they were father and daughter.
