The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
I actually nailed the interviewing, but issues about this company are going to keep me from taking the job.
Today has been like Friday the 13th instead of Friday the 1st!
(It also is my un-Anniversary, but I actually didn't have much time today to dwell on it! )
First I get to the interview to find out the manager just left to deal w/their customers. I was kept waiting for 3, yes....3 hours!
He did have others to show me around and I can somewhat understand that the customer comes first. But all the others were just sitting there telling me how great the company is doing. (so why are they having customer issues that took 3 hours to resolve?)
This of course led me to get stuck in all the Friday traffic jams of Chicago. And as soon as I get out a ways, I try to call the kids to let them know I am on my way home--my cell phone battery is dead. (completely and no recharging will revive it!)
I get a bit farther and almost to the state line, less than a couple of hours from home and WHAM......
I blow a tire out!
well, lucky for me, I do know how to change one, and have a decent spare and a skirt on to boot!
Of course, this is my Friday the 13th, so the only help I get is a roadside emergency guy that would have been much better suited to being a plumber.... if you get my drift!
I finally make it back home after being gone for 13 hours just to hurry to Walmart and get a new one before tomorrow's trip. (and noticed they don't stock my cell phone battery at this store!)
I think it's time to write this day off and start a new celebration next year. But I will wait until then to figure out what to celebrate. Maybe it will be the day to get my tires checked before I'm making any trips!
You are just nailing interview after interview! That must be sending your PMA sky-high - nicely done!
Keep those pats on the back coming, as this is a great form of self-love.
I wouldn't worry too much about your father's comment about whether you and H will reconcile. He's not one of the two key people involved in your sitch - it's all about you and H. The rest of the players are just background. Its likely your dad is just being protective, not wishing more hurt for you and trusting this SIL about as far as he can throw him now.
Hon, you have me feeding off your positive energy. Great post!
Wow, that sounds like a totally mixed-up day! But your prospects for jobs definitely sound very good. And you are showing admirable character in keeping your sanity amidst all this. You have my utmost admiration. I dont know if I could handle things with such poise.
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
Hi all! Back from another trip through Chi-town, but at least today was fun.
We (s8 and I) went by bus down to the windy city, he kept telling me that he was on a scavenger hunt! (never did tell me what for, but he was enjoying the trip, so I let it be!) Then we had a two hour layover at Union station and the little guy had a lot of fun just walking around looking up at all the 'skyscrapers'. S decided to sleep on the train ride to Indiana, so he's really wound up tonight!
Mom and Dad wanted to stop and have dessert before our trips back home and from there the day turned interesting, but very confusing!
All my stuff was put in the truck and so well wrapped, it looks like a big gift w/o the bow! Ex did this for me.
And the conversation turned back to more discussion between ex and my dad. Dad is now trying to convince me that we should try and get along. (I thought I was trying!) That ex still has feelings for me and cares a lot about me. ok, ok, I get the drift, dad....but didn't you just tell me that you don't see us reconciling? and my dad replies, well I just don't know.
And to top this off, he asked my ex if he would fix something and ex agreed to do it for him. So my dad is just soooooo happy w/my ex now!
I'm almost feeling like my ex is in better favor w/my parents than I am! (Oh, wait I did get a really nice early-bday present from them!)
UD - I wasn't really sure how I did keep my sanity yesterday w/all that went wrong; but it hit me today. I just kept looking at the glass that was half full!
Everything that went wrong did after the interview, and the fact that I didn't have the k's w/me when the tire went is a blessing! Today, my dad wanted to complain a bit about having to fight all the holiday traffic. I said no, the best thing about today is the weather is so good! (I have a 35" tv in this truck and even w/it shrink wrapped, rain wouldn't do it any good!)
So, I guess I will apply this 'half-full' approach to ex and figure if he is buttering up my parents, what more could I really ask for at this point!
I just have to figure out how to 'try harder' at getting along w/him!
T
ps. wonder if he will be invited to the holidays and I won't?
pss. I promise...I have no expectations; I just want the biggest Christmas gift!
Youe ex is making a lot of statements ("why did we div"?) and making contact with your parents (that's huge!) that indicates there is a lot of hope there. Perhaps a softer approach with him would be desirable. You see, unless he is having second thoughts about what he has done, what other motivation can he have to be doing these things?
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
I specifically told him the times we would be gone all weekend and he made sure to call 3x this afternoon while we were out. I emailed him as soon as we got in, but he emails back that he didn't want anything. So I went ahead and emailed again saying I really needed to discuss something and so far he has ignored that.
So now, I will have to wait again until next weekend to talk to him. I really wanted to discuss a couple of issues w/him and to spend some time validating him over the phone.
Biggest issue is that he sent mail that he received for me from two months ago. These are court papers that needed an immediate reply. I don't know how I was even going to bring it up to him, but I can't really let them go another week. There may not be anything I can do about them either. As far as I can tell, they are concerning the half of the 401k that I was supposed to get, and looks like I won't get that since I didn't reply.
I have a whole ton of stuff on my mind tonite, but need to try and get some sleep. Maybe I will be able to sort it out tomorrow. (and I refuse to travel any farther than the corner store!)
T
Sounds a lot of MLC dysfunction to me. This includes depression, poor memory and inability to think in rational ways. Your ex seems to be experiencing all of these. The 3x calling is a good sign. It indicates to me 1) curiosity (perhaps even concern that you may be GALing) and 2) that you were on his mind for a period of time.
At this point it seems to me that your ex is suffering from incompetence and an inability to handle his day-to-day activities (MLC) rather than unconcern for you.
Stay strong. You are doing admirably.
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
Don't know if my PMA is high or low. I'm just plumb tuckered out! It must be all this thinking! j/k - I'm sure it's from traveling over 1000 miles in one weekend! Besides my trips down to Chicago, we went to a fourth of July picnic yesterday and although the k's had a ball, we were still on the road a lot.
Talked to my mom & dad today, they've been trying to call me also to see that we got home ok. My ex apparently just left their place this morning! He was over to drop off something for dad, I guess and was complaining that he couldn't get hold of me the day before. They told him neither could they. HMMM!!!
Ok, I have to confess something here. I am homesick terribly this weekend. Seeing my parents for only a short time and having such a long drive to do that has got to me. I used to visit them every other weekend pre-D, and sometimes much more in the summer (they do own a pool!)
So here's my dilemma! As you all know, I made up my mind to jumpstart my career and let it lead me to a new location if necessary. But w/all the conflict w/ex, I have not applied to any jobs in my home state. I am seriously thinking about doing that now, and it wouldn't have to be in the same city. I am beginning to think that I have so many fears of being rejected by him, and I haven't even went back there at all since the D(5months), not even for a visit to family.
I have prepared myself to having to work out all of s8's arrangements when I go back to work. (school, daycare, and therapies) Now I keep asking myself - if I'm willing to do that in Minneapolis or Knoxville, why not in Michigan?
And since ex limits our contact, he really can't 'see' any of my good GAL efforts especially since he doesn't want to hear me talk about my accomplishments. The only Galling I can do is to be absent when he calls and that is frustrating me to no end!
Ok, everyone just whack me one and tell me this is just a temporary homesickness and I will get over it soon. I just don't know how to proceed this week.
So I went ahead and emailed again saying I really needed to discuss something and so far he has ignored that.
He was over to drop off something for dad, I guess and was complaining that he couldn't get hold of me the day before. They told him neither could they. HMMM!!!