W went to the wedding today. She was lookig in the den for a Wedding card, and was going to give $$. I suggested an Ikebana vase. She hesitated at first, but then decided it was a good idea. I got one for her from an inventory crate, and helped her wrap it while she got ready to go. I think she felt a bit odd giving a gift that I made at a wedding that she told me I couldn't attend.
I managed to steel up a bit this afternoon. I gave W a few more hugs, told her how nice she looked (jeans & t-shirt, but very hot) I helped her carry her clothes for the wedding and tomorrow(staying at SILs) to her car, since her wrist is still really sore. She is wearing the brace, and now her other wrist hurts from overuse. I gave her one more hug before she left, and asked again what I should tell my mom about the birthday. She said that she would go, "It is your birthday after all" I thanked her, gave her a squeeze, put my hand on her cheek, and told her I love her. I have tried to avoid saying it and it has been a long time since I said it in such a direct manner. She was taken aback, and didn't reply. She was upbeat and kind, however, and told me to have a nice time (dinner at friends house).
NOP, as always, thanks for the advice. You know I would have jumped ship a long time ago if it weren't for you. I am glad I stuck it out. Even if things don't go as planned, I feel so much better about myself for the way I have handled things. I now have xrays that prove I am a man o' steel.
Middle day is next Friday. We always used to try to do fun stuff on that day, but I am not holding my breath this year. I will plan a nice evening, and see if she is interested, but I will not crumble if she says no. (Although if she chooses that night to see OM again, I may break a bit around the edges.)
C, I will be gone for your birthday so have a good one.
You are handling things so well, it's really amazing to sit back and watch. Such composure and grace. I agree with everything NOP says and isn't he the best. Listen to him and watch it all unfold.
Have a happy happy day and happy bday to your wife also.
Quote: I am so weird and never make the same recipe twice.
HP, You are far from weird. I (not unlike my mother before) view recipies more as guidelines than formula. Afterall this isn't a university-level organic chemistry class where you can make an unstable explosive if you aren't carefull. Or as one famous chef put it: "This ain't rocket science!"
Nonetheless, between my grocery shopping trips, I often myself having to substitute an ingredient or two. Or even go through the list of variations in order to (as the aforementioned chef says) "Kick it up a notch!"
My apologizies for hijacking your thread, CSW. I must say you have shown a patience that would make Job sit up and take notice. Stay the course, you seem to be doing something right.
Hp..thanks for the calzone tips. I am going to try making these. My favorite is ricotta and motzerella chesse calzones. With dipping sauce on the side.
CSW.........Just checking in on you. I don't think you have posted in a couple days. Hope all is okay.
Cally, Thanks for checking on me. My computer is on the fritz, and I am setting up my new one.
W & I have had a few interesting interactions I will briefly relate:
The other day, I told her I wanted her, kissed her, and she pulled away and told me I better go take care of myself...
Yesterday, she didn't return my calls, so I went over to a friends. When I got home, she had been home all day, and made dinner for herself and ate it all... GRRRR
Other stuff is going on, and none seems too good. More later.
I must admit, I'm not surprised by your W's change in attitude...not that you've done anything, you haven't. BUT, I notice you said she's stayed at SIL's house again lately...she has become fairly predictable in the fact that when she stays over there...she becomes more distant.
Chances are OM has also started applying pressure again...possibly a drop-in again. Hang in there...wait this out if you can, but maintain what you've been doing...because you are doing all the right things. She may also be backing away again because she's caught herself feeling things for you again...and that's probably felt like she's setting herself up for failure again...she still doesn't trust your changes.....or her choices where you are concerned.
Try to hang in there bud!!! It's not over yet! GEL
W's attitude toward me is vacillating widly. I honestly think she wants me again, but is fighting it with a great deal of energy.
Yesterday, W was gone when I got home. I ate without her. When she got home, I sat with her as she ate. We chatted for a while, but my voice was rapidly disappearing from my post weedeating allergy attack. She told me about her visit to the doctor, and said it could be 6 weeks for her nerve to heal.
A while later, we both went upstairs. She is reading the book I gave her, "I Know I Am in There Somewhere". She said it is a good book, and thanked me again. I wrapped her elbow to immobilize her arm. I laughingly told her I would be happy to help her get undressed. She laughed back in a genuine way. I then told her if she needed me to rewrap it to call me when she was "safely under her sheets" and laughed again. I then leaned over and kissed her, somewhat persistently. The first second, she backed away and said my name. I kissed her again and said her name. She seemed to be kissing me back, so I pulled back a bit, and she leaned toward me and we kissed some more.
Tonight she is babysitting at SIL's house again. It is going to be a regular Wed thing for a while. She will sleep there, since SIL didn't get home from ladies night golf until nearly 12. W loves kids, and SILs are gems of good behavior.
Today, I called W at lunch, to tell her I got the bonus again, and to make sure she planned on going to my folks for BDay cake. She said she would, but she sounded hesitant. She said' can I ask you a question?... How much do your parents know?" I told her that they knew she was talking to him too much, but that I never told them anything else. I think my mom called my house today, and possibly gave her attitude... I will try to get more details later. Maybe she was asking because she is considering the scenario at my folks tomorrow, or considering trying to work on M... Who knows.
The next few days will be a bit odd. We always got together with OM & OMW at this time, since our Bdays are 2 days apart. Me, W, and OMW, in that order. I think it was the first time we got together with them, to share a giant carrot cake that my mom had given me. I can assure you that I won't be seeing OM willingly ever again. I will certainly call OMW to wish her the best.
I am about to go for a massage. I have had a crick in my neck since Saturday, and have been walking around like Evel Kenevel after a stunt, like my shoulders are fused to my head. It will be nice to be able to look over my shoulder again. I will spell out my intentions again, and will stress the fact that I am not done with my M, so the masseusse should save her suggestions till later.
I am hopeful that tomorrow will be a good day. (and the day after...even better) It was nice kissing W yesterday. I wanted to take it farther, but for the last few days, she has been so distant, I didn't want to push her away. One step at a time. The fact that she gave me a real kiss was a big step in my book. Let's hope that it isn't followed by two steps back.
The Bday was good so far. W callled me after lunch to wish me a good one. She was the first. When I got home, she was here, and there was a present on the counter. She came right down and wished me a happy b day. She gave me a great present, a Henkel's herb cutter and cutting board, something I have always wanted. I jumped in the shower, and when I got out, I went to kiss her, but she moved away, and made it clear she didn't want to kiss. I backed away. We are planning to go out to dinner together tonight, but I don't expect much beyond a friend across from me at the table.
I am going to try making these. My favorite is ricotta and motzerella chesse calzones. With dipping sauce on the side. 