Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE How often do you have sex?

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they love to admit they don't care much for sex.

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I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I was not proud of my LD and I felt like I was irrepairably broken. I was sad and lonely and didn't know how to touch anyone else. I felt like happy people had a secret that I missed out on hearing.

When I am overwhelmed, angry or disappointed, LD threatens to creep back into my life. I fight it with everything I am. I have faced a great many of my fears to get where I am and will not concede my hard won HD.

What women are you hanging around? I can honestly say the women I know treat their sex drive as a badge of honor whether it's HD/LD.

And as for the male LD's no, I'm sure they don't talk about it...how embarrassing would that be for them?! It was hard enough to get my H to talk to me about it.

GEL

I think you all are mistaken. I know many men that have a lower drive then there W. They talk about it just as much as us who complain not getting enough. There complaints are just the opposite. They want it to much. Seems to me that not that many people are have the amount of sex they want.

Lee

Hi, Hairdog,

I do stop by occasionally. But things are still rough. These days, when I make my intentions known, she has ready made excuses: We just did it - It's my period - etc. She must tatoo them into her dreams.

I was struck my the casualness with which the (mostly women) described their mis-matched desires. There was at least one garing exception: one woman who was ready to leave or worse.

I'm trying to take it all more or less in stride.

Paul

Lee...

"Seems to me that not that many people are have the amount of sex they want." Now that's a statement I agree 100% with

GEL

GEL quoted

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"Seems to me that not that many people are have the amount of sex they want."

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I think I would qualify that to: Not that many people who post on internet bulletin boards are having the amount of sex they want. I have this notion that those of us who spend hours and hours on the internet are a self-selected group, and by no means typical of the public at large.

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I think I would qualify that to: Not that many people who post on internet bulletin boards are having the amount of sex they want. I have this notion that those of us who spend hours and hours on the internet are a self-selected group, and by no means typical of the public at large.

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Do you mean to imply that techno-nerds, self-employed loners and SAHMs with cling-on toddlers are less sexy than the general population? My HD sister semi-jokingly told me that if I would spend less time on this BB and more time socializing with "real" people my problem would resolve itself more quickly of its own accord because, in her opinion, getting involved with someone else is the natural thing to happen to someone in my situation.

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if I would spend less time on this BB and more time socializing with "real" people my problem would resolve itself more quickly of its own accord because, in her opinion, getting involved with someone else is the natural thing to happen to someone in my situation.

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Uh, Nopkins, can I take this one? Getting involved with someone else may be natural, but it's not right. Have the ovaries/balls to end your current relationship first before going there.
I've had the opportunity to go outside the marriage before and refused, because it's disrespectful to all parties, and it's just plain creepy.

You're better than that, JJ.

Hairdog

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Uh, Nopkins, can I take this one? Getting involved with someone else may be natural, but it's not right. Have the ovaries/balls to end your current relationship first before going there.
I've had the opportunity to go outside the marriage before and refused, because it's disrespectful to all parties, and it's just plain creepy.

You're better than that, JJ.

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I really was just reporting what my sister said to me, not making plans for future behavior . Besides, having an affair just isn't my style for reasons both good and not so good. Here are a few of the not-so-good reasons:

1) I am too scatter-brained to carry on an intrigue.

2) The only men I ever slept with before I was married were under 25 and really quite fine. I might go LD if my only option is bald, paunchy and suffering from ED.

3) I would no longer be able to say "What a hypocrite!" with self-righteous glee when it's reported that a cultural conservative like Limbaugh or Falwell is messing with O.P.P..

Jenny,

Got your back on this one

I understand what you are saying...one of my friends who is in the same situation I am has had affairs, and has pretty much blatantly urged me to as well. The other friend has flirted with disaster by staying in contact w/her ex who she knows is interested in her still, although she never did do anything other than e-mail and talk on a friend-level...the temptation was still there. I won't lie...I've been tempted too, I had someone pursue me with the intent of taking me from my H. Two of my very dearest friends that I told about this, never said "don't do it!"....they told me "well....who could blame you?" To them it was a natural outcome of the events.

I however....didn't do anything and broke off all contact with the person pursuing me.

I think all Jenny was trying to say is that cheating, in our circumstances, is something that some people would expect would happen. That doesn't mean it should and it doesn't mean it's right by any means.

I, for one, am someone who would end my R before I would have an affair....but it was interesting that my friends did seem to be urging me to have one, fortunately my personal beliefs are stronger than some of my outside influences.

GEL