My birthday has been quite sucky. My H took off work today and had a surprise all worked out when D3 began vomiting last night. Ahh, children. They light up your life in so many different ways, don't they. She has barfed all day today, about every 15 minutes. So we've all been housebound, tending to her. This will be funny someday, I'm sure!
Right now, H is gone with D5 at her tball game so I thought I'd pop in and see what my pals were up to. Thank you for the birthday wishes. I still have high hopes for the evening's entertainment, though D3 might ruin that by erupting at an inopportune moment. We'll see.
My H was so disappointed that he didn't get to carry out his well thought out plans. Poor guy! I think we all know what it feels like to want to give SO badly to another person and be unable to carry that out, in the way you've planned.
Sorry to hear about the upheaval of your H's plans for your birthday. It can be downright nauseating when carefully laid plans are upset by unforeseen circumstances. Hopfully, tonight is a little easier to stomach, and you can end your birthday erupting with joy. Of course if it doesn't pan out the way you had hoped, you know you can always spill your guts to us in the morning.
I hope D3 got it all out of her system, is feeling better, and didn't give it to anyone else in the honey house.
Blind, you can do barf puns too?!? Not having brothers really created a sheltered existence for me, didn't it.
The night was ok. Poor D3 is still illin' but that doesn't lessen her natural exuberance, unfortunately.
H and I did manage to sneak in some nookie in between her last vomit and when she fell out of bed, so that's good.
I was suffering from a terrible case of resentment-itis and it really blindsided me. I was really irritated at him over our diet of sex every 3 days. I've been feeling physically better lately and we're both hoping that we can continue to have sex without me becoming debilitated. What I was NOT counting on was that he would want to settle back into his preferred frequency of every 3 days. I erroneously thought that we had discussed this enough (approx til the cows came home) and that he realized that though this frequency will satisfy him, it leaves me frustrated. Instead of saying something to him, I just hoped for the best (this never works) and our D's sickness took up all of our additional energy.
All in all, things have been going well between us. I have hopes that my body is starting to finally win out over this infection/whateverthehellitis and perhaps I can stop with the doctors appts and IV's and junk. I have a CT scan tonight and I'm not expecting too much to come from that.
Take care and thank you again for the birthday wishes!
Here's the answer to your question from ME1967's thread...
Quote: I have a question for you:
Do you still identify yourself as an LDH?
That is, if you were addicted to porn, and you stopped using it, would you still consider yourself LD or not?
Yes, I still consider myself LD. Through my C and much reading, I've learned that because of my CSA, even without the addictive/destructive behaviors, I still have a lot of mental issues that affect my ability to positively interact sexually. Now, here is where it starts to get hinky...the MB/porn had nothing to do with my R with my wife...it was my way of acting out against my abusers. When it was done...it was done...I shut the lid on THAT compartment of myself and moved on. BUT, latently it had the effect of making me not "need" the intimate interaction with my W. It was the perfect wet blanket to keep me from hurting the person I loved with S. Does that make sense? Probably not...I'm having trouble getting the right words here. So, I'll just stop.
To finish answer your question HP, my drive and desire for my W did increase GREATLY when I stopped the addictive behaviors.
Have you been able to figure out why you still chose porn, even when you knew you were hurting your wife by rejecting her?
I can mentally understand why my H did what he did..for the reasons that he had..but I cannot comprehend why he continued to choose to do it, even though he knew it was hurting me. He was, at that point, making a conscious choice to stay away from me. I had an almost impossible time getting past this thought. Even now, it bothers me, but thankfully it only flits across my mind a few times per year.
Quote: Have you been able to figure out why you still chose porn, even when you knew you were hurting your wife by rejecting her?
I can mentally understand why my H did what he did..for the reasons that he had..but I cannot comprehend why he continued to choose to do it, even though he knew it was hurting me.
I asked my H pointblank how he could possibly not know how important the issue was to me when I would be hysterically crying on occasion when he rejected me. He replied that there were things he didn't understand and there were also things he chose to ignore. I think what it came down to was I wasn't consistent enough in voicing my discontentment with the situation. I would be crying hysterically on Friday if he rejected me but I would be all hugs and smiles on Sunday if he finally got around to being sexual. I think this had a lot to do with my Type 7 tendency to always look on the bright side. I was dealing with the sex problem on a day to day basis and not figuring out how to treat it as a systematic problem. Now I don't get as hysterical when I'm rejected but I don't get as happy when I get laid either. I'm going to need to see some long term consistency and enthusiasm before Mr. W gets off probation.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
