That is...one of the best compliments I have received. I'm glad to know that my posting on here has helped others.
Quote: I know that when your H started approaching, you had moments of sadness, where you just started crying, even though things were looking good on your stitch.
This is what I am going through. H is being returned by the aliens little by little and, for some strange reason, I am having the worse crying spells (he doesn't see them). Why is that?
It does take so long, doesn't it? I think it's a bit overwhelming for everyone involved to rush this process.
I've actually thought about this one a lot. For me, I believe it was fear. As H acted and was more and more like the guy I married (and wanted back!!), I got more scared that he'd get nabbed by the aliens again.
Also, the other thing about it is, as I felt more comfortable in the R, it allowed me to feel things that I had basically buried when I was in survival mode.
In all honesty, I still try to stay away from H and hide these (much more rare) crying spells. I've found all it does is make him feel more guilty--which is a self-destructive cycle. He's better about it now, but there's only so much he can take at a time.
Incidentally...I thought this was interesting. H told me last night that sometimes it's easier to be angry at me than to feel the guilt. He tells me bits and pieces like this more often now. Guess this explains his behavior last year, before he moved out here.
I've still been extremely tired since the miscarriage. I was doing better up until about three or four weeks ago. The exhaustion is causing problems for me at work--I keep coming in late. No matter how early I go to bed or how many alarms I set...I oversleep. And I don't even have to get up early!
In all honesty, I don't think I'm sleeping properly. Everything wakes me up. The cat walking into the bedroom wakes me up. Anyway, got a recommendation from a coworker for an accupuncturist here in Phoenix...had my first appointment today. Whatever she did opened up my lungs--I sure can breathe better, which seems to help some already. She also told me I was pushing too hard, and that I needed to not force myself at the gym. Hopefully this will help, because right now it even seems like such an effort just to go into the kitchen to get a drink of water...
DH and I are doing really well. He recently went back to Indy to visit family for a week. Only minor panic on my part. Better than the complete breakdowns I used to have.
Something I realized...
The biggest improvement in our R happened when I completely and totally dropped the subject. Of xow, xrm, all of the mess. DH has told me several times that it's easier to be angry with me than to feel guilty. Even if I was just chatting, the subject or the timeframe made him feel guilty. It was hard at first...but I stopped asking for any and all reassurance.
What happened was, as DH thought less about it, he became more affectionate. Which, in turn, meant I felt better.
Hope everyone is doing well. It's amazing how, the further we get from the mess, the happier I am that we are still together.
I'm glad to know that my posting on here has helped others. 
No matter how early I go to bed or how many alarms I set...I oversleep. And I don't even have to get up early!