Hey there, Koskka, Jo, Steve and JDD. Thanks for posting.
Jo wrote:
Quote: take what your S5 says with a pinch of salt. Kids sometimes make stuff up because they love you but if he is telling the truth, boy, you have something to get excited about
Definitely. I think he's truly wishing a lot, and this colors what he says to me. If anything, it reflects S5s trust and security with me, as he is able to share his most sacred desires with me without worrying about what to filter. I protect him from mine, as its not his job to serve my needs for reassurance.
I had a great time with him this weekend. At pick-up on Sat, W was cheery, and didn't even comment that I was 5 min late. She definitely smiles more at me. S5 and I had donuts and coffee/milk, then went on to his TBall game. S5 was not as on this time, playing lethargicly, yet still had 2 RBI, and seemed to enjoy playing catcher one inning. I volunteered to cook hotdogs for the concession stand one game, and had a nice running convo with a pretty divorcee aunt of another child. No intentions - just practicing my convo skills with hot women. As W is one, I need to improve my bantering.
S5 and I joined a buddy and his 2 sons as well as 2 other dads and their sons for homeless ministry. S5 helped give out hotdogs and bananas to over 120 folks. Very good food for the soul, as he was blessed by over 30 people for his kindness.
We visited the couple that took me in just followed my S from W. S5 and I gave them some nice baby gifts for their 5mo old baby boy, and visited a bit with them. Interestingly, I felt a wave of deep sadness triggered by their house, as I really began to process my loss of my family there back in Fall 2004.
At dropoff, W happily greeted us, and showed me her new running shoes and shorts outfit. She noted that she had just run, but was obviously waiting for us for some time, cause she was fully cooled off and rested. I wondered if she was trying to show me some skin? Another wrinkle is that she knows I'm into running, and I get a running magazine at the house still, so maybe she was trying to show me that she's doing s/t similar? She had noted pointedly that she wasn't running anymore after our S, stating "I can't stand it and its too hard on my body." Maybe a purposeful change of tune?
When I noted that I found a 2-person sit-on-top kayak for paddling around FL waterways with S5, she smiled brightly and noted how she'd like to take him camping (big hobby of mine, whereas she backed away over past 6-7 yrs, citing worries about germs/cleanliness). I stated I was glad to hear it, and she commented how she hopes to camp/hike in Hawaii when she travels there in June.
All in all, W seems to be sharing with me about her efforts to get back to how she was in the past, a level she reached in our friendship and dating. I had introduced her to camping, hiking, running for fun, yet this probably is something she wants to 'rediscover' for herself to see if its truly s/t she enjoys or if it was merely s/t she did to please me.
She commented on S5's swim lessons tomorrow, noting that I am always welcome to attend his lessons (she takes him). I will do so tomorrow.
Did one flub-up - W caught me eyeing her legs, and she literally immediately scooted back 3-4 ft and turned more directly toward me. Drat!
Well, 2 weeks til D-Day. Prayed hard for strength at Mass tonight.
Quote: When I noted that I found a 2-person sit-on-top kayak for paddling around FL waterways with S5, she smiled brightly
I just recalled that W and I had a blast paddling around the FL Keys among the mangroves on part of our honeymoon in such a kayak. She raved about this memory many times.
