I'm feeling a big Saturday night in Texas coming...
Go have some fun, even if it's driving around. Get out of the house if you can. Take a good book and go sit at Starbucks (I don't know where in Texas you are but there's got to be a Starbucks near you. Isn't there one about a 5-iron away from everyone in America?) I'm meeting my brother at a local independent coffee house tonight to listen to a jazz band. Who knows what a somewhat single man might find in a place like that???...
I'll have a shot of espresso in your honor!
D.
Q: Why did the Redhead try to steal a police car? A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Once again, you made me laugh. I can't go out tonight the in-laws are here. They brought the kids back today. But I will plan an outing next week for sure.
I don't think H has had much if any contact with ow since returning home on Tues.
But, tomorrow spring break is over and we head back to work and I believe he will resume talking to ow.
I have been struggling with feelings I haven't had in a loong time. I had gotten to the point where I wasn't obsessed with H and ow. It is in my head all the time. I am hoping going back to work will help with that. Why do I seem to be going backwards here?????
I look back on the last 4 days and think why didn't I make those the best days so when he did return to work it would be good thoughts about us. No, the last several days have been h---. I have had a rollercoaster of emotions and not a lot of control. You know what they say about hindsight.
I had bags packed on Saturday and was ready to leave on several ocassions. H was actually telling me not to go, using the kids to make me feel guilty. But, he can't end it with ow quickly and won't tell me how long it will take. He says he wants to end it mutually. I am having a hard time with that. He won't answer any questions about what his contact with ow will be now that he has chosen to come home. My thoughts on Saturday were we needed to be separated longer than one night. He came home on Tuesday sounding sorry, saying he needed to stop being a coward (he used a different word that I won't use here on the baord). I haven't seen too much of that man since. I am afraid of ending right back up where I was.
I know how hard it is when they return home. You want them to profess their love for you, say they will never do anything to hurt you again, and have no OW around at all. I know, honey, it sucks.
You have to decide what YOU want. If having him home is too hard for you with him still in contact with OW then you need to come up with some type of plan. If you can stand it, and DB and bury those feelings of rage for now, then do it. Go in another room and scream into a pillow, talk to yourself, go for a walk, anything to release that pent up energy.
I know their is a typical mourning perious they all go through when ending a R. I think I read it in Love is Tough by Dobsen.
I am going to catch up more on your sitch.
Sherry, he is home. That is a start. And he sounds like he is wanting to work on things. Keep up your GAL and PMA...Make sure you don't forget about Sherry.
Keep reading your books. Keep staying busy. Validate. Listen. Act as if..You CAN DO IT!
You hit it on the nail, MTN. Since he decided he needed to be home, I want him to work on the M, not continue the R with ow. I guess I figured if he decided to come back home it would be with no ow, saying how sorry he is, saying he loves me and beginning to work on the M. I am having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that is not happening.
I also know I have to decide what I want. I am just as confused as he is right now. Isn't that just great? He starts this mess and I end up feeling like him.
I am trying to put this in God's hands but am struggling with that. I guess I am doubting again instead of trusting Him. Everytime I decide to trust and tell myself God will work this out ( I have felt that from the beginning), something happens and I doubt it all.
Thanks for listening. I need some of your attitude MTN, that is for sure.
You know, when you get a chance, go on MLC posts and read Wishingitwasovers thread. She is going through the same type of thing you are. Except he isn't "fully" home yet. But reconnecting.
All these feelings are so normal, Sherry. It's what you do with all of these feelings that matters..
Has H discussed OW with you at all? What does he say? Don't ask him about her but if he brings her up just say you understand..blah blah..But, I don't think it is a bad thing for you to set up some "loving" boundaries, either. Get the Love is Tough Book if you get a chance, it really addresses the OW issue.
Keep up your PMA..Sherry..Work out, call a friend..
I know how hard reconnecting is..I think it is harder than being alone. I only did it for a week and I thought it sucked. Like living with a totally different person.
Yes, H has discussed ow with me. In fact Tuesday when he decided to come home, I quietly (more like biting my tongue) listened to him talk about ow and why he didn't think it would work. The problem is he finally faced the realities of the sitch but his emotions are still there with her. I will look for the book. Thanks.
Yeah, I havent had much of a PMA. I haven't had time for the gym since Wed. We have had company or sick kids so I haven't been able to go. I have talked to either my mom or friend all week. They think I should just leave because he isn't just ending it with ow now.
I am going to work on my PMA and continue GAL. I need to detach again, too. I think I will call a friend and set up something for this week.
H has said he will end it with ow, just in his time and his way. (I know what you think about that, I do too).
Believe me, we have fought over that. He is not changing his mind. So, I either accept it or I leave. He has refused to leave now that he is back. Which is really kind of funny. You were up on my last thread and know how little H did to help. He would be lost trying to take care of the kids by himself. I can't do that to my kids.
I kind of gave him a timeline. I repeated to him that I would not be dealing with this during the summer. So he has until then unless I decide to leave before then.
Don't intiate OW talks..The DBing coach said to me something really profound..Why would you want to discuss OW when H is with you? That is precious time he should be thinking of you, not her! hmmm...
Keep up the PMA..I see you went to Wishing's thread..Great..And she is now on piecing, too. I think you two have a lot in common so you could bounce ideas back and forth with each other.
I know their is a typical mourning perious they all go through when ending a R. I think I read it in Love is Tough by Dobsen.