Quote: And yes we've had that discussion also. It turned into a bible discussion...her typically creative way not to answer a question.
Speaking of the bibile...must be why so many of the bible men have mistresses and concubines...so to have a robust sexlife and a wife.
Log on to The Marriage Bed and you can see for yourself what the Good Book does, in fact, say and not say.
In a nutshell the only explicit prohibitions are S with people of the same gender (even if married to them per state or provincial laws); people to whom one is not married; blood relatives (even if married to them); and animals. For married couples, pretty much anything goes.
It does not specifically tell you that you must be HD. But in different passages, including the Song of Solomen, it tells you what required by both spouses in marriage. In fact, I see it as the MODEL for the perfect marriage. Most of the marriage books I have read more or less follow the model of the bible. Anyway, back to the HD part. Like I said, being required to be HD is not in the Bible. However, the things that the Bible says must happen are extremely hard to achieve if you are Low desire.
I understand that what you are saying about the Bible...I just might be a tad be more careful about how you phrase things LOL. I mean...you did say being LD was against biblical teachings
However...does it really help to refer to or try to quote the Bible in these instances? I mean, we are afterall human with our own beliefs, foibles, and feelings. An LD person cannot become HD just because the Bible (or any other document) says they should (which it doesn't). I don't think that's what you are saying, so don't think that. But even women in Biblical times had sex with their H's because it was their "duty", not because they wanted to. We've been doing that for thousands of years CeMar. But, big BUT here....what many of those women have done in the past (even in Biblical times) you have already stated would not be satisfactory for you...even if she did it because she loves you.
It really seems that you want all out passion or nothing. Can you tell me why she should feel this passion for you? What current behavior of yours do you feel would elicit passion from her? Is it just because you think she should have this because you do? If so, that's not how things work. These are serious questions I'm asking, so think about them.
It seems to me that you try to use things (like the Bible this time) to justify that you are right and she is wrong. If you continue doing this you will only make yourself more miserable in the situation you are in. This is not a right or wrong issue....this is an issue of compromise, communication and understanding.
The only way out of this is to get clear, concise communication flowing between you and your W. Without that you WILL NOT get out of this rut.
I don't use the Bible with my wife at all. All I am saying is that I have read parts of it related to marriage, and it does tell us how things are "supposed" to work. Basically what the Bible says it that if I meet her needs, then she will have the ability to meet mine. She will have the ability to "Desire" me.
Do I want all out passion, yes. After reading "Passionate Marriage", i guess that my idea of success actually increased. So I now see that their are 3 type of marriage, there is a passionate marriage, there are failed marriages, and there is divorce. So you can actually be married and still have a failed marriage, just like my father-in-law and mother-in-law. They have been married 50 years, and have not slept together for 45 years, are still married, and I consider their marriage to be a HUGE failure.
Ok you just said it right here...what you need to be doing...but what you've said yourself you don't know if you can do it.
Quote: Basically what the Bible says it that if I meet her needs, then she will have the ability to meet mine. She will have the ability to "Desire" me.
I don't remember which BB you posted it on, but you did say at one point (not long ago) that you knew she had needs that you probably weren't meeting.....so according to what you just posted....you aren't holding up your end of this equation.
So what do you have to loose in trying to meet all of her needs? Is it a battle for control? Do you feel that she should just go first, even though she obviously doesn't view this as the problem that you do? Because...if you are waiting on her....you're going to be waiting a very long time.
I can GUARANTEE you if I had waited on my H to do something about our situation, I'd still be waiting.
