I am confused! I am proud of myself because my husband and I had a chance to finally talk about a D. I was able to stay srong and not cry. I agreed with him that things had been rought since he had the affair. I also agreed that we should divorce since we have been unhappy. This discusion was killing me but I kept a smile on my face and agreed with him. Please let me know if I am really doing the right thing I just want to feel loved again. He told me that no matter what happens that he will always love me. He just cant take be unhappy anymore. I allowed him to blame me and I agreed with that to......PLEASE is this really the right way of doing things.....PLEASE HELP!
Who is unhappy, you or your H? Both? I understand the difficulties caused by an affair. However, they can be overcome. Often times the guilt and shame associated with an affair are a difficult phase for the betrayer to handle. They can become depressed.
Recovery is possible if a commitment from both parties is made. Maintain a calm attitude anytime you are in conversation with your H.
Great advice. I just responded on your other post with similar advice so this oughta tellyou something. Anyhow whats with this :I let him blame me crap. Just calmly say no it takes two- to make or break a relationship and I'll take only half of the blame for you not being happy. But your infidelitys are YOUR CHOICE on how to solve YOUR problems.
Thank you for answering me. I am 28 years old. We have been together for 7 1/2 years but married only two. We have a beautiful daughter that just turned one. I talked with H tonight and to my suprise he asked me if I wanted him to move close or further away. I was in shock....all I wanted to do is cry. I didnt know that things were going to move so far ahead so fast. I told him that the decision was up to him. I feel like I am going to freak out. I have always been a good wife to him. I cant believe that he really is going to leave. Then he told me that I was pushing him into moving because I kept asking about divorce(the old me). He said what do you want to do live together and be divorced. I just kept a smile on my face and laughed a little. I dont want him to move out. I really believe that we could have worked things out. We get along good...so why are we going this route. I wish that everything would disappera with my dreams and I can wake up with my husband in love with me again. Oh by the way he asked my how I thought our sex life was...I said that it was good...he told me that he tought I was the best person that he has ever had sex with.....so if he is telling me the truth there are no problems there.....Do you really think that this can survive. I feel bad but if he moves I know that I will not be able to trust him...on his own. Help!
Oh by the way he asked my how I thought our sex life was...I said that it was good...he told me that he tought I was the best person that he has ever had sex with..... Very, vrey interesting.........That he asked you what you thought of sex life..then told you you were the best..... kind of makes me think for some reason he's unsure of how good it is for you. Could he be wanting his partner to be more excited?or ravenous? Maybe he has doubts in that dept. ?
How old is he?Forgive me for getting explicit here : On what I posted - maybe he thinks she has great skills in bed but I can't "do this" to her? Some guys (when they get a little older all of the sudden start wanting to get their partner off so she'll soak the bed,have multiple orgasms, want him Sexually all the time . etc..) They wonder if they can do this to a woman and if not you can they do it to anyone. Its an ego thing as well as just wanting to excite a woman that much. Its just a maybe here. A lot of times they cannot talk about sex like that, hell a lot of woman can't either to their spouses.
My H can't seem to enjoy sex completely unless I get off completely (and this was not always the case). He vocalizes this so I'm not just assuming here. I think being able to do that to me is a huge turn on but more so an ego boost.Sorry if I'm wrong here just an idea. Could he be wondering why can't I .........to her? I mention this also because I actally have seen this happen and the guy went out to see if he could to OW to see if it was his problem or his W's. Seriously.
this relationship seems so far off right now it calls for desperate measures. If he's talking divorce and you are agreeing to it then why to you think you both aren't filing papers today. A separation for a time has saved many relationships, and puts them in perspective. Everyone jumps right to divorce, how quick, how easy to give up. Would you give up on your child if they did something terribly wrong or would you try to work with the child to see them through the difficulty. Marriage is not a date, or an engagement. Its the real deal, and it deserves every chance before divorcing. If that means taking a step back from each other then ok. You may find you don't even want him back and he may find he was stupid to let you go, but at least if you do end up in divorce court you can say that you gave it every effort. we need only to blame our selves for making bad decisions. Not each other.
I agree with Experienced.I should clarify more.I'm not saying to go file for a D, but don't let him stay home w/ you while he's playing around deciding. He needs to go elsewhere or to cut it off now and start counseling.I've been through this as well on both sides of the fence I've been the wretched one and I've been the hurt one too.Not everything exactly the same but enough of it.I only tell you this because people really can change but you can't coddle them to do it. It just doesn't work.
I think that you are taking me wrong. I dont want a divorce at all. I bend over backwards on trying to do whatever it takes to fix things. I was just agreeing with him (180)I reaaly dont want one. I have forgiven him but I feel that all relationships with "friend" have to end.
