Cemar, Change all of your "HD man" to "HD woman" and I would have to agree with everything you wrote. Low level anger was present in me almost all the time and I still struggle with it, at times.
The funny thing was: It was present in my LDH, too, only he didn't realize it! That was perhaps the biggest shock to both of us...the person who didn't really want as much sex was still suffering the ill consequences of not having it. Huh!
Quote: That was perhaps the biggest shock to both of us...the person who didn't really want as much sex was still suffering the ill consequences of not having it. Huh!
I absolutely believe this to be true of my wife. Not only is she suffering the ill consequences of not having it, she actually seems to WANT me to WANT her ... but then not have to actually follow up on it. I think many LDs need to know they are wanted and desired; they just are having trouble following thru on doing anything about it, for various reasons (phychological, other problems in the marriage, hormones, etc.).
Choc, My SIL flat out told me this. I commented that she'd probably like it if her husband were like my H and she got a horrified look on her face and said, NO! I don't want him to stop wanting me..I'd feel terrible about myself!
I look at her, pretty surprised, and said "but don't you think he feels this way?" She said, No he doesn't. He's a man and has been trained to take rejection.
I said nothing further because she is a dear friend of mine and I didn't want to alienate her but she could not be farther from the truth--NO ONE likes to be rejected, no matter what it's about.
So yeah, your wife is dying to know that you think she's sexy, I gay-rone-tee it. As women, our self worth is very much tied up in our level of attractiveness. Sick but true.
Quote: So yeah, your wife is dying to know that you think she's sexy, I gay-rone-tee it. As women, our self worth is very much tied up in our level of attractiveness. Sick but true.
Honeypot, I'm reminded of that line that Elaine tells George and Jerry on that famous "Shrinkage" episode of Seinfeld :
"Honestly, I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
Quote: I look at her, pretty surprised, and said "but don't you think he feels this way?" She said, No he doesn't. He's a man and has been trained to take rejection.
I believe that most women feel this way, it is OK to reject a man when he asks for sex. Afterall, he will try abing later, right. The reason I say this is that I have actually overhead on many occassions women talking about sex and their men, and how most of them reject their men a lot of the time. Rejection hurts weather you are the man or the woman.
