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Excellent progress, Akron.

I have appreciated your advice on my thread. I do hope to see such progress in my R and will be checking back to see how things are going. You are doing great, especially with working on your resentment. Hang in there, Akron.

I noted that you have a S5 as well! I've bookmarked your sitch for future reference.

Things are rough in my sitch, with D papers signed, but my belief is that the R lives on, God doesn't attend much to D papers or judge decisions, and I will keep DBing.

Gabriel

Things are still moving forward. I think most of the issues we are dealing with now are my past hurts(Resentment). It is so true in the Divorce Remedy how your feelings need to be brushed under the rug until you get them back. Then you finally get to deal with your feelings. This is almost harder than being separated. I'm am so sick of hearing the word CHANGE. Any little fight we have she always says "You haven't changed?" I try not to take it personal, she is just trying to push my buttons in a negative way. Last night in a casual conversation I told her that I hate the word change. Why can't we just love each other without change?????

She hasn't changed!!! I still love her

I'm not the same person as I was before we separted. So I have changed, but my core being has not.

Change=Happy

I am Happy so I have CHANGED. I'm going crazy...lol

So now Crazy=Changed=Happy

I need to reread why I need to be the one to change.

Goal- Get Divorce Remedy from the library again

Akron,

While you're at the library, you might want to pick up "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". It might help you understand what's going on in your communications now with your W.

Good luck! You are doing great!

M

This is great - It goes with my Previous post

So my mother just calls me to say "You have really changed" I told her I hate that word "Changed" she says what word should i use. I said use "Nicer". Then she said "You are alot nicer, It must be the Holy Spirit"

It just makes me laugh

W - did Thank me last night for being a great H and father.

Akron,

I work with physician-scientists. In a different context, I was having a conversation with one once about "change." He made a wonderful remark -- with his scientist hat on, he said, "without change, you die!" I thought, "Huh. Yeah, you're right, even in the biological sense!"

See? So what you're really doing is NOT changing....you are LIVING!

Feel better?

That makes so much sense.

When your going thru R troubles you stop LIVING. That is the key to getting your M back on track.

Really I haven't felt this alive since my M was good before.

akron- I appreciate the advice you posted on my thread You are doing great. I keep up with your thread and I believe you will get through the resentment that you have.

Wouldn't it be great to just get back together with our S's and everything be perfect? Unfortunately we can't have it that way.

But I believe that the second time around can be better if we chose for it to be. Thanks to this BB we have a head start to make it happen

Well Today is my 32nd B-day. Here is an email with W:

I will stop by the store on my home and get the food. Sounds good to me.

Wife

> ok this is what i want for tonight.
>
> I would like to get big steaks and grill out. bake potatoes, corn on
> the cob.
>
> Then i want to play dominoes with you and S5(for a while)

ME

Just looking at this quote makes me smile

Quote:

---

on my home

---

Happy Birthday!

Hi Akron29

Happy B-Day and Congratulations on your MUCH IMPROVED sitch.

My sitch seems very similar to yours when you started your first thread - Tough Love - 2 months separated now, I've been DB'ing for 1 month (5 weeks actually)

I've seen many improvements since I started, and I was wondering what was your W's headspace when you first separated? At the start of your post (Tough Love) she was calling every day, and you had just "gone dark" and she was then calling 15 times a day. When you first separated, was she continuing to call? My W was dead set that she wanted a D, no chance for us. Still now she doesn't want to reconcile, but I haven't brought it up in two weeks, neither has she. Was your sitch seeming hopeless at the start? At separation time was it "trial separation" or wsa she ready for D? I'd love to hear you say "Yeah dude, we were looking bleak!" Because I feel my sitch was bleak, and could use the hope!

Also, was her OM photographer a part of the reason for the separation? My W found a OM (EA) and I really think that he was a main reason for her to WA then. Underlying issues of course.

I feel bad bringing up this negative stuff on your bday. Hopefully it doesn't spoil your mood thinking bout it.

Congrats again. Your thread is great! Sorry for your tough times, happy for your good.

MT1