I read your post and I'm salivating. I got it and I can do it. It's just that she looks so sexy and I can't reconcile my desire for her and the turmoil we are in. I'll check my emotions. Thanks coach!
Are you male or female? I am guessing male with a name like bulldog!
I am sorry that you have to be here and hope you get your M back on track. If I can help in any way, let me know.
Hope is what keeps people alive, and I also know I love my H and from the way he is with me, I think it's pretty obvious he loves me too, even if he hasn't said it.
I am going to succeed because I love him and my kids too much to have it any other way, so I will keep going until I win
I'm a guy. Or a chap, is it, to you? And, I have the same feelings for my W as you do to your H. I'm hoping that this is just a " bump in the road" for us and that W just has to go in this direction. I have heard that divorce is sometimes necessary to make things better in the R and that a remarriage to an ex-spouse is often much better than the previous one. I have reasons to believe that my W and I will be reunited one day that I can share with you in the future. Maybe they are pipedreams, but I feel like I have to remain hopeful and believe in them. Looking forward to talking to you in the future.
Tag wrote --------- do you know how horney I am after 9 months? ---------
Tag, follow Jo's advice.
I watched a TV program about relationships where the guy was always horney. All he thought about was sex and his girlfriend was there and said it was anoying her too. The therapist advised the guy to masterbate prior to the date to relive some of the sexual tention he had so he could concentrate on the interactions between them and not his urges. They restated it in street terms because most of the audience was around 18 to 25 years old.
Suppose you had a gun with a hair trigger and the gun almost goes off when it heats up. What you need to is shoot the gun at home before going out on a date with your lady. Then there is no ammunition in the gun for atleast a while. You can think about what is going on around you and not worry your gun is about to go off.
Sorry to be sounding like a 16 year old.
Jo re: thinking about sex 12 times a day. I thought about something sexy at AM 6:45, 7:30, 7:40, 8:05, well you get the picture. I Can't hug a woman without getting that tingle feeling even though I know I am married and the woman is my W's best friend and am angel? I think the last time that happened (no tingle) was before I was 12. I guess I can tingle as long as I don't do anything. I would never want to offend anyone. I actually need to know someone very well before I say or do anything more than what is considered proper and polite.
I think being over tingley is related to the sometimes temporary condition known as no-ass-at-tall. (humor intended)
Now that I think about it maybe there would be no tingle if the woman were a female version of some one like Joseph Stalin (evil and cruel). I actually have very high standards.
I'm not horney anymore. Read on: I was having a great day. D15 and I went to Starbucks before school, I bought wood and began making her display case, I picked her up and we went to Jamba Juice for a smoothie, then W came home. She walked into the house and immediately exited the house with the F word because the dog tore open a box of cereal in the dining room. She really hates this dog. I guess she feels I choose the dog over her. She felt the same way 14 years ago about the previous dog and I euphemized it to show her she came first. I felt horrible and I'm not doing that again. She says take the dog to Illinois but I'm staying in a one bedroom apartment that doesn't allow dogs. Here the dog has a fenced in yard. One time I read don't believe anything you hear. Is there another message? Any ideas?
Tag wrote:
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I euphemized it to show her she came first.
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TAG, that sucks, Just might give your W ammunition to prove you are cruel. W talking, See, Tag is so mean he even killed his dog just to get me to do XYZ.
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I felt horrible and I'm not doing that again.
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Good!
Because you are not home much and If your dog was in good health, you should ask an animal rescue agency to help you find a home for the dog. One less thing for W to use against you.
My W had 6 cats, 4 dogs, and 3 birds. The cats peed on the carpets, it stunk and the carpets got moldy. I asked her to find a good home for some of the cats and give one of the dogs to D34 as it was really hers.
W would not do anything. So many excuses, pet too old, too shy, too everything. I took the worst cat to the animal welfare league and gave them $100 to place the cat. I had asked W to do it for 6 months. I was to the point of the cat goes or the D is comming.
After about a week, W agreed that that cat being gone was a good thing. I let W keep the others because I knew they were going to die soon.
One dog back to the animal rescue league after he nipped a kid ($6,000 for plastic surgery) on the face. Kids parents wanted to shoot the dog. Kid pulled dog's hair while the dog was sleeping. Excelent dog around adults. Animal welfare people found a lady about 38 that has 2 other dogs of the same breed. Dog now has a better home than with us and we spoiled him.
Just saying that I love your thread. So much you have worked through and wonderful things starting to happen.
Tag (Jo, sorry for hijack),
Maybe finding the dog a family who will really love it would be the best solution? And I completely get the celibacy whine here as I have been since Jan 04
Current Thread Me: 39, H: 35 Kids: S14/D13/D11 1995-04 Married 2003-08 Bomb 2003-09 Separated
Lou, Sure it sucks even more since it made no difference but that's hindsight. I'm not doing it again. She never went the "I'm cruel route." She just continues to block out anything that interferes with her perspective on life. It runs in her family. The more I read "People of the lie" by M. Scott Peck the more I agree there are evil people in the world.
Re 'guns' - so what if he shoots the gun at home before, he can still use it again, right?
My H can still do it if you leave him half an hour in between times. I remember one birthday I had in happier years, we ML 3 times in one night!
So is de-loading really gonna help? Or is this a man subject I know nothing about?
Tingley thing is normal sexual excitement. I get that holding my H's hand, and did in the M too, just from hand-holding. In fact, you can get it just thinking something nice. Perfectly normal response, don't feel guilty about it. The women would probably be flattered if they knew.
I would say give it to a shelter or try moving into a bigger flat.
As for your W, I can understand why she'd be annoyed with the breakfast cereal incident, but I have to say, I think being jealous of a dog getting more attention than her is a bit sad and insecure.
Are you sure this wasn't a symtom of the M? You did say in your thread you were judgemental of her etc and didn't show romance. Maybe if you carried on trying to show her these things then she would feel more secure and not have to be jealous of dogs??
