You (and me) have to have patience! Keep doing things to make yourself happy...your H can go with you or be left behind...
Quote: Yeah the having your cake and eating it really bothers me too.
I read this alot, I've probably posted it on my own thread...but what the hell good is a cake if you can't eat it?!?!?! I know it is a figure of speech but do you see where I'm going with it...
Quote: This is just so confusing.
No doubt about that...but you know something...he's just as confused as you...if not more.
Don't overlook the positives, lots of baby steps!
Quote: H calls on his way home and actually wants to talk. He actually asked about me and something going on with me.he preceded to tell me about something that happened to him at work. he actually seems concerned.
lots of positives...keep doing what you are doing, it is working...don't get your expectations up because he is bound to back track some, keep focusing on you and the kids!
You are both right. I have been feeling better today.
I think some of this indecision is due to stress at work. Hopefully I will know if my transfer will go through soon (have to interview with principal at school I want to move to---YUCK).
Anyway for now I am back on track---detaching (which I think I am getting better at--still not quite 100% there but definately getting better) and GAL.
You guys ( and girls--that is Texas talk--at least I don't say ya'll) are such a great support system. I don't know what I would do without everyone here. THANKS!!!!
Yes my husband has a job. Actually a good one...which is why he has so much time. He works from 7-3...I wish I had those hours. I have my own thread if you want to post on there, so we dont clog up Sherrys...LOL
I dont know how to link it tho...Its called He is still home
It really does sound like you are doing a good job. OF course there are going to be days where you question what the hell you are doing...(I have them too). But there seems to be some real progress happening. Patience...I am trying to work on that one.
I am working on patience and GAL. I have just been going to the gym (taking kids--of course) and going out a few hours on the weekend. Need to do something else, I will work on that.
Another positive to post Last night I carried the laundry basket to our bedroom to finish folding clothes I didn't get to over the weekend. As I past H on the couch, he said don't do that. I said, I need to I ran really late yesterday because I had to dig through here and find clothes. Later as I passed him again, he actually thanked me for taking care of the laundry. Then this morning, as I was running around trying to get me and the kids ready to leave, he loaded the van with my stuff and had it running. I usually leave the house with an armload each morning. He used to do that all the time before we moved.
Baby steps with no expectations, right???? I am trying to focus on the positives and keep my PMA up.
It seems like you are definately getting some postive reactions. I am happy for you...Hopefully as each day passes they will become more frequent.
I am battling today with feelings of hatred. Do you find that you feel that way as well? I feel like I hate my H because he is just flat out lying all the time, with no attempts at stopping his behavior. Why should he I am here and he knows I am not going to stray while he does what he feels like. I used to think that my H had a conscience. I dont anymore.
Sun, I just wrote almost your exact words in another post! I hate that I feel like I'm "okaying" his calling this OW by letting him stay here. He's read DB, going to therapy alone and with me, but I feel like what's the point? Granted he's talking to her less and less, but the feelings are still there for her. We have had a very nice last couple of weeks and I asked him last night what he thought about that. He said, "it was comfortable". I was like, CRAP, not the answer I wanted to hear. H goes to the therapist tomorrow by himself. I'm anxious (and nervous) to talk to H afterward. Bottom line Sun, AM there, DOING that just like you. Hang in there.
OK Sherry, I need help with something you said. ----------------------------------------------------------- The fact that I haven't brought up ow or R in about 3 weeks seems to be helping. ---------------------------------------------------------
I feel like if I don't bring it up periodically, even if things are going well around here,........oh my goodness....I couldn't finish that sentence because I don't know what bringing it up periodically accomplishes!!!! That was weird. Guess I just answered my own question! I've gone as long as 7 days without asking....I'm trying to beat that record. ha
Last night I carried the laundry basket to our bedroom to finish folding clothes I didn't get to over the weekend. As I past H on the couch, he said don't do that. I said, I need to I ran really late yesterday because I had to dig through here and find clothes. Later as I passed him again, he actually thanked me for taking care of the laundry. Then this morning, as I was running around trying to get me and the kids ready to leave, he loaded the van with my stuff and had it running. I usually leave the house with an armload each morning. He used to do that all the time before we moved.