Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE "There's somethin' happ'nin' here..."

It is simple to write about being transparent, simple to make a declaration of openess, but very difficult for many people to do.

Hi cine!

You wrote

Quote:

---

It is simple to write about being transparent, simple to make a declaration of openess, but very difficult for many people to do.

---

So true. What are your ideas about the best way to approach this?

Lillie,
I have a friend who says, "Be what you are." It's simple enough to say, but what if a person doesn't know what or who they are. These are people who are trying on personas to see if they fit.

If a person is lazy, evil, stupid, or a plethora of other human foibles, should he or she be those things? There may be people who want to make improvements before they show themselves to others. Some may feel that their shortcomings won't be accepted.

It seems to me that the most transparent people are the ones most comfortable in thier skins. It has nothing to do with appearance, popularity, or financial standing. Such people are like shining lights to everyone around them. They take time to listen, do their best to understand and empathize. There are folks on this BB that fit this description (ya'll know who you are ). Sometimes the most wounded are attracted to the warmth these people exude. They bask in the warmth, but when it comes time to reciprocate, ignorance or fear can seem like insurmonuntable obstacles.

Lillie, I'm hoping that this will make sense to you and it applies to your sitch.

Quote:

---

If a person is lazy, evil, stupid, or a plethora of other human foibles, should he or she be those things? There may be people who want to make improvements before they show themselves to others. Some may feel that their shortcomings won't be accepted

---

I'm not a conventionally religious person, but here is what I believe. Every person on this planet is lazy, evil and stupid. Every person on this planet is also strong, loving and wise. We all struggle towards redemption and sometimes we succeed and sometimes we fail, but the only true sin is when we despair and give up the struggle. I believe this is true even though I find myself falling into despair pretty much every other day and maybe twice on Monday.

Makes perfect sense, cine... and beautifully put.