There are lots of reasons to be LD, but from all the reading I have done, if everything is running corectly, both physically and emotionally, then a person WILL be HD. To be LD, there MUST be a disconnect somewhere within that person. It could be testosterone, body image, abuse, neglect, betrayal, lack of trust, or something else. But there always is SOMETHING causing the problem. Is there anyone that is LD and is so for absolutely no reason at all. There is always a reason.
Thanks to everyone for sharing their time and experience. Here's the sitch. We have been married 30 y. My W is the sweetest human being you could imagine. She is has a great appearance. I would rather die than hurt her. We are in love and really are great together in every other way. I have so much to be thankful for that I am almost embarrassed to use up your time. My W has virtually no libido. She is so selfless she has never said no to me. She has no fantasies, erotic dreams or desire for sex. She sometimes enjoys it once we get going and has the big O. She wants to feel desire and I want to feel desired. We have been to Drs. and she has taken enough testosterone to go off the scale. We have read books galore. I guess my question boils down to the very first one. Will it ever happen? Has it ever? How?
Thanks for the background that really helps And don't be embarrassed. I too have what I consider a very happy marriage...outside of this one particular area. My LDH and I love each other VERY much...we just have this one snaffoo.
You mentioned your W has been to doctors and taken testosterone...has she spoken w/a counselor therapist yet either with you or on her own? Many times there is something from that person's past, or in their own perception of themselves that prevents them from letting go enough to enjoy sex or discover their own sexuality. That often requires a professional to help with.
My LDH and I are getting ready to go to a therapist as a couple..he had been going by himself. This is a safe space to work through whatever issues she may have (that she may not even be aware of) and also for you to learn how to potentially help her too.
Greeneyedlass,
Thanks. We have not gone down this road because we get along so well and her background is so normal - even ideal. She has always been a bit of a shy person by nature but that just seems intrinsic.
And don't be embarrassed. I too have what I consider a very happy marriage...outside of this one particular area. My LDH and I love each other VERY much...we just have this one snaffoo.