After my birthday of sex and drinking, it occurred to me that my H regards drinking in much the same way that I regard sex. For instance, my H told me that he only wants to have sex when he is in a very good mood and able to celebrate life. I only like to drink if I'm very relaxed on the weekend or at celebratory occasions. My H can always come up with a good reason to have a beer- bad day at work, football's on, first day of spring etc, just bored etc.. I would regard all of these as good reasons to have sex myself. So, if my H is an alcoholic, does that make me a sex addict?
BTW: I also had the thought that when my H said I was more sexy when I was playful, I think he meant I was more sexy when I was drunk.
Second Topic:
A while back my sister and I were having a convo about sex. I claimed that if I was male, I would have had a lot more sex over the course of my life. My sister said I was wrong because I was a nerd and male nerds never get laid.
During the fight in which my H claimed I wasn't attractive enough for 2x weekly sex, he also said that I was too smart/nerdy to be sexy.
This also seems to go along with the fact that he finds me more sexy when I am drunk and therefore relatively stupid.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Quote: During the fight in which my H claimed I wasn't attractive enough for 2x weekly sex, he also said that I was too smart/nerdy to be sexy.
My god, these are two INCREDIBLY insulting statements!! To have anyone, let alone my SO, say either of these things to me would cause me to label him cruel and vicious!
I have been quiet for a week but had to jump on this one (no not that way either)
Quote:
I also had the thought that when my H said I was more sexy when I was playful, I think he meant I was more sexy when I was drunk.
I’m HD, my LDW can be much more playful after a few drinks, not drunk but enough to be feeling very relaxed. That should be a topic on here, alcohol does it help or hurt desire.
Quote:
A while back my sister and I were having a convo about sex. I claimed that if I was male, I would have had a lot more sex over the course of my life. My sister said I was wrong because I was a nerd and male nerds never get laid.
Bad myth, speaking from the guys point of view, I think if the goal is getting laid, nerds with the right ‘pitch line’ can get very lucky. I remember a guy from college who was the total nerd, braces greasy hair, polyester shirt, a real piece of work, but he could say the right things and get laid every weekend. Here is the rub; he wasn’t hitting on the nerd girls.
Leaving aside your H's crappy comments, I, personally, find nerdy women very desireable.
Here's an anecdote. I just got a couple new pairs of glasses, one pair of which are horn-rimmed and rather nerdy looking. I asked my W to try them on, just to see how she looked (she's a wire frame wearer, but usually sticks with contact lenses). She put my nerdy glasses on and I got excited just looking at her. I told her, "you better not get this style of glasses." She said, "why, because they look bad on me?" I said, "no, because I'd probably 'bother' you twice as often if you wore those."
I know for me I wish my W would Drink more because when she actually gets tipsy she is easy. If she would just drink about twice a week I could be much better.
My W is also more inclined to be "in the mood" after a few glasses of wine. On one occasion at a party my wife got into a drinking contest with another guy there. They both got pretty hammered (she more than he). At one point, the guy came over to me and said ("you can thank me tomorrow") - I guess he thought he was doing me a favor and I was going to have one WILD night.
The truth of the matter is that she threw up in the car before we got home and passed out as soon as we hit the house. She was totally SICK off the alcohol. I bump into this guy from time to time and I think he still imagines the "favor" he did for me...
GS
note: anything more than 3 glasses of wine is a waste...
I'll touch it. I doubt that JJ is an addict. She's remained loyal to her H, and doesn't rub herself raw when he's not around. If she's a sex addict, then a good percentage of us here on the board are, too. She may be a bit obsessed, but, mea culpa.
JJ: If you're a sex addict, and neither one of marriages work out, I'd be happy to escort you to the 12 Step Program. Wear your nerd glasses, though.
