It was too bad to hear he has not shaken old habits. Also it looks like he hasn't taken the wake up calls given so far. So I guess love, trust and respect are a two way street. What I've been trying to determine is if I have, and will in the future, truly be able to forgive. Perhaps one of the factors why our S keeps holding onto the other person is that they don't completely feel that they can come back to us without having to pay a constant price. I try to remember this when I am trying to decide how to act.
This morning I had a good discussion with a co-worker that was the other side of the coin from us. He gave me some great pointers of how to think, what works, and how they turned things around. This definately lifted my spirits and gave me hope. His main pointers were patience, understanding, forgiveness, re-establishing a relationship and time together, and of course space. Nothing I haven't heard before, just re-enforced what was known. I definately needed to hear that.
Give things some time and think it over. Remember the outcome is for the rest of your life. I know we are required to forgive. I guess the Lord is testing me (and you). My prayers are with you.
We are back home, although H has flown back to new city because of his job. S18 is with him. So, it's just us girls at home. We have a conditional offer of sale on our house, and will know by this Friday if all conditions have been met. We have spent the last couple of months trying to get the house ready for sale, spending 6 weeks in new city looking for a home there, so it's been quite stressful. H and I have not been able to begin MC'ing and this does concern me. He still says there is no contact between him and OW, that he loves me, has always loved me, that he wants the M to work. I just can't find it in me to trust him yet. I guess time will tell. Too many lies has left me wondering about everything he says. We really do need to get counselling.
Otherwise, we do have fun together. I try not to bring up R discussions, and we have slowly started to ML again. So, we see where it all leads.
Hope everyone on the board is having a wonderful summer. We just got a new dog for our D12 - a husky. Lovely dog, with a nice demeanour. Anyway, we just took her out for a walk and it is raining out there. Ah well!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
As you might have guessed, Phoenix, I did give your post some thought, and gave it some time before making a decision. Still doing that. Thanks. Still think about you a lot, and hope things are looking up for you and your M.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Hey BeingMe - Welcome back! I know that wait and see feeling only too well, some days I feel like I'm still in that zone. But heck, what else would we be doing if not trying to save the relationship with someone we care for a lot?
It made my morning to see you back on here again, since I both worry and miss you and Crushed. The fact that even with a move things are going better is definately a positive. I'll try to post later to my own thread so I can bring you back up to speed. Lots to tell.
