Divorcebusting.com

Frankly,

Ouch! Don't beat yourself up so much! It's far easier to read other people's posts and see possible foibles than it is to identify them in the heat of the moment in our sitch.

Who knows if you did a good/bad thing or not? For sure, ultimatums aren't terrifically effective tools (for the most part) but water = under the bridge.

Here's my 2 cents (no enormously insightful comments here...)... reread DR, practice the 24 hour rule, read some threads here in Piecing to see how many of us have gone through similar bouts of limbo combined with impatience, ,
cut yourself some slack and do the same for w. Listen, listen, listen.

Sage

Sage is absolutely "sage" here frankly!

There's not always a right/wrong good/bad way of doing things, especially at this point in piecing. Sometimes, you just gotta stick your neck out there and try something. "Experiment, and monitor the results".

Remember, though, that you're much farther along in knowing what it takes to help make a relationship work than your W is. There are going to be a lot of times when you want things to move farther and faster, but you might sometimes need to wait in patience while she catches up with you a bit.

Use these times to relax a bit, and do some things for yourself. Sometimes our impatience and frustrations can be a sign that we're working just a bit too hard, and need a break. This also gives our partner some time to do a little more work on their end.

Talking about "intimacy" issues while things are still a bit raw can be very difficult, let alone under the best of circumstances. I wish there was something that I could tell you to "fast-track" getting there, but I'm not sure there is a way. Most of the time, it seems like it takes more work on building a stronger foundation in other areas first.

Hang in there, buddy, you really are doing fine! Yes, listen, listen, listen, and remember the "24 hour rule"!

Something else too, frankly.

I got a chance to at least take a quick look at some of your older posts. I must say that you have been able to make some great things happen in a relatively short amount of time! You really have been doing an excellent job!

Now, go back and read through some of those older posts yourself, and see if you can find some things that you were doing different, some things that seemed to work for you, that you're not doing right now. What are some of the specific things you were doing, and in a lot of instances, "not" doing, that seemed to help draw her closer back to you? There are some key answers in there, you just need to look closely.

Look for some "old patterns" that you may be falling back into, that may have been things that didn't really work for you.

Also, as has been emphasized to you a few times on this thread, work on new memories and experiences for the two of you. That really does help in building the new stronger foundation, and leaves less room for the "yucky" stuff from the past.