Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again STILL Morphing 2

I'd guess my other thread is about to lock, so I thought I'd get this one ready to move the party to...
Link to old thread here:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=802212&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=31&fpart=1&vc=1

so, meanwhile, back at the ranch, I'm still thinking i'm gonna just leave H a note and a hamburger and not be around when he gets home tonight. UNLESS of course somebody talks me out of it in the next 20 minutes. i'm sorry to say that feels REALLY gutsy to me................so, I guess when I come in the door later tonight, I'm just happy and excited, and vague about where I was, right? I swear this IS scary to me, because he used to run straight to ow whenever I was gone (even if I was home actually) so I have no clue what he'll do.

Deb,

I'm behind! Do you need talked out of doing this or support?

HI Pam! #1!
Actually, I'm not sure what i need, I think I'm taking a poll as to whether I should do this or not.....

How do you vote?

No fair! I am doing about 3 different things and am still not caught up. Sorry. Been struggling this week.

Why are you planning to be gone? Could you give me the brief version? I like to vote informed you know!

fair enough....

H is just really weird and grumpy and I think back to seeing ow....I did talk w/db coach on the phone and she suggested trying to do something "crazy" every now and then....I am SO predictable, so I think H probably still sees ow a little when I take S to religion class. tonight the schedule is up in the air because I'm bringing S to a friends party instead of his usual class...it will last about 1/2 hour longer, I thought I could go home, but now I'm thinking I'll leave the house before H gets home (I usually see him for 20 minutes or so) and just leave a note that said I had some stuff come up to do so I'll see him later this evening after the kids' party......

Well, that doesn't sound like a bad idea to me.

What is your gut feel about it?

Sorry, computer locked up and had to reboot.

that's ok...
I feel a little anxious, but probably just because it's different...although partly related to his blaming his A on me not caring/being interested in him..
actually the last week and 1/2 or so, I've been distancing a little and he gets a bit worked up if I'm gone 45 minutes more than expected. So I don't know, it feels like a big experiment

It sounds like it is a big experiment. But I guess that would be doing something different?

I say go for it!

The point is to shake things up, remember?

You certainly don't have to be there when he gets home. Heck, you aren't even obligated to bring him food. But I think the note is sweet..that way, you did tell him you would be gone.

Oh...and I agree with the idea of encouraging him to go for a walk/out/whatever. (This actually works well, I've done this with my H in the past...even though there were times I was littler choking on what I was saying. )

Deb-

I vote a big YES...sans the hamburger...LOL

(I posted on your other thread.)

Dawn