A few questions about your ND wife. Did she ever have a D? How old is she? Children at home? Does she work outside the home?
I'm positive my H would have thought many times I've had ND. It was more that life covered over the D. I have to work at keeping the business of life from doing that.
Quote: I guess what I'm trying to say is that you and Mrs.NOP have what you want and I am very happy for you (really!), but I might not want what you want and I might not be able to get what I want in the way you got what you want.
What we wanted was a loving relationship. One where there is mutual caring. Growing. Pursuit of common and individual interests. The cessation of relational power struggles and the constant refortification of our heart's barriers. A foundation from which we could, with kindness and patience, *work out* disagreements, difficulties, clashing wants & desires in a way that *mutually* satisfied us both.
The ability to have days of peace & pleasure flow by without strife and discord and the life-destroying suction of the undercurrents of constant dissatisfaction.
Is that what you want to assert may not be what you want?
Because the few references to our sexual life was not offered as the standard. Or the goal. For you or the group. The idea that what we have sexually is what you should be working toward is one that you have extrapolated on your own. The goal you have for your sex life will be a result of what you and your husband do or do not work out together.
But you will work out that solution in the context of your relationship. And it will be the strength or the weakness of that relationship that will determine the outcome.
Because shorn of all the agitation, what underlies the marital problems we all arrived here with is this: the unwillingness and/or ignorance of each of us as couples to deal with each other and those relational difficulties in a fully functional way.
Quote: OTH, I think to myself that it must be kind of lonely being in your position. If I were you, I would feel more secure in my success if others were to achieve similar success through similar means.
There is no way to look at your above statements as anything less than an attempt to insult and belittle. And it is uncalled for.
I can understand your anger and frustration. However, I can't understand your choice to lash out at people who have done you no ill, but have wished for your good and for your success.
