Are you getting ready for your first post partum p? I was in an awfully funky mood right before mine. I did a ton of night nursing with no supplements so it didn't start until 5 months.
Sounds like you really miss your H back when he used to be the primary initiator. So funny that he asks that you refrain from MB and yet.... Sounds like he is making sure that he's needed by you. Just a thought.
I can't imagine it's my p yet. I didn't have one with the first two until, gosh I don't know, 15 months? Somewhere in that timeframe. I rarely have them on my own, anyway. I could count on my fingers and toes the number of p's I've had in my entire life.
Baby just started sleeping through the night last week. She is sleeping really loooooong stretches so my supply is adjusting. (fellas are you just lovin this chick talk? Bet you're sorry you clicked on this thread..) She goes down about 9 and sleeps anywhere from 5:30 to 7. So my body is adjusting to that and it isn't always pleasant, as you well know!
The mb thing..well, that is due to his religious beliefs more than wanting to be needed by me. He considers it his first and foremost priority to ensure that I reach the pearly gates. So, while he does not monitor my sins whatsoever, he and I have talked frankly about mbation and what it is he expects me to do.
The funny thing is...I would have expected that it would be the man of the R having this particular discussion. Simply because of physiological reasons! I mean, a man's testicles fill with semen whether the wife feels like ML or not. His body will require that he get rid of this eventually. One would think that my husband would be drawn to me by physical urges if nothing else. But I have watched with my own eyes as weeks passed and nothing happened. His usual MO (before we began having reg sex again) was about every 6 weeks. Then ML once and the whole thing started again. This seems odd to me, but whatever. He also does not stop to eat or go to the bathroom if he is busy, so ignoring his body is extremely easy for him. Sometimes I wonder if his pain/pleasure receptors work at all!
Yeah - the chick talk must weird the fellas out. I think my p started so early bec. of going back to work. Pumping is not the same to the body as a cuddly babe. I was a stay at home Mom with the other 2. Your body will get adjusted and the temporary libido drop probably is a good thing.
Funny about that 6 week deal. That is about my H's time frame. If things are really stressful then 8 weeks. I really start getting grumpy feeling if it has been 3 or 4 days.
Well - I know it isn't easy but for what it is worth it sounds like your H does try and certainly does love you.
Karen, Yep it's 3 days for me too. This libido drop thing has allowed me to step back and SEE what he is doing and appreciate it for what it is. Before, my body was so horny and my mind was so flipped out (overanalyzing, my specialty;) that I couldn't see the forest for the trees. Suddenly everything appears clearer. It is a blessing and if I could stay like this forever, I would. Even though the other way is more fun, I feel more alive, I would still choose this path of least resistance.
We ML on Wed night and afterwards we had a conversation about how neither of us was really that horny to start out with, but it ended up well anyway! Normally this type of conversation would have really bothered me but it didn't this time, so I guess that is progress. One thing I have noticed is that, lately, H wants to eliminate foreplay. I don't know what to make of this! He SAYS it is to cut down on the time it takes. Well, it ends up taking the same amount of time because we have sex longer b/c I am not fully aroused when we start having intercourse, right. The more I think about it, though, I think this is his way of saying, "If you want sex, you'd better be ready for it, then. If you're so 'horny' then why do you need all this warmup time??" This dislike of foreplay is new to me. I never knew it bothered him until about a year ago. Now he is rewriting history and saying that it has always bothered him.
However, I don't know what prompted that tangent. I have been doing excellent at staying positive this whole week and I'm not stopping now!
Quote: He also does not stop to eat or go to the bathroom if he is busy, so ignoring his body is extremely easy for him. Sometimes I wonder if his pain/pleasure receptors work at all!
There is definitely a biology to this. When my son was an infant/toddler, I was freaked out because he seemed oblivious to pain. He would crawl into a wall or fall down and just go on like nothing happened (I remember talking to the pediatrician and asking if we should get a neurological evaluation). I was familiar with children and he was my second child so it wasn't a new mother thing. To this day ( he is 10) he really can ignore his hunger until it is absolutely necessary,goes out in the cold weather without a thought of putting on a jacket, rarely complains and is just a " go with the flow" kind of kid. There is now a psychological component to his lack of needs...one suggestion by any kind of maternal figure and he runs the other way. What's a Jewish mother to do?
IHJ--who hopes his one-day wife won't be posting on this board
My bf also goes all day without eating and rarely pees during the day. He is the only person I have ever known who will eat dinner, sit around and watch tv, etc., in the evening, then when it's time for bed will go to bed without peeing first.
When he does pee, he'll do it for a minute or longer, it seems. If we're getting ready to go somewhere and we both go to pee at the same time (in different bathrooms), I'll be able to pee, fix my makeup, put on my shoes, change my earrings... and he's still peeing (the door is open and I can hear the stream). (I used to have a dog like that. She'd hold it all day, then when she went, she'd do it for a minute and a half!)
Maybe these guys aren't as tuned in to the signals of their bodies as the higher D men?
Friday night was good; had an outing with my D5 alone and we had SO much fun. I never get to spend time with just her alone and she enjoyed it so much that I'm going to take her out again next weekend, perhaps to see Polar Express? Any opinions on that? I am very picky about what my kids watch and wasn't sure how appropriate it was. To give an example, I did not let them watch Shrek 2 b/c I thought the first one had some questionable things in it.
No sex that evening but H mentioned how much he appreciates me backing off and being "forgiving".
Saturday was a busy day (2 birthday parties, ugh, no good for a dieting mama). Saturday night we managed to get the kids in bed early and had some great cuddle time, talking about our lives together, etc. Naturally, we made love but H didn't finish b/c he got overheated. I promised I would make it up to him the next day.
Sunday: So-so day. H and I got into two arguments about a MINOR issue that we can't seem to resolve and it always turns into a battle. Now this is so minor that I won't bore you with details but suffice it to say that H said several times, You want to control me! grrrrrrrrrrrr Now, when we fight it always turns into laughs and it did, both times. But it takes its toll on me nonetheless. When we got into bed, H took my hand and placed it on himself; he was already hard. I stroked him for a while and then he asked if I wanted him to do it to me. He never did start touching me, but instead initiated a conversation about something else (so trivial I can't even remember what it was) then started making noises about going to sleep! I said, So we are NOT making love tonight then? He kindof groaned, cause he knew an argument was coming, and began making excuses about being tired and having to get up for work the next day, etc.
I was really irritated by that whole scene.
Then he starts telling me how good I'm looking lately!
I was so disgusted by everything that I just said good night. He asked if I was upset (I was realllllly HOM at that point) and I said, Well yes I am. You know me well enough to know that if you pull a stunt like what you just did that I will be upset. So let's not act like this is all a surprise to you.
He agreed and kept repeating that he wished I wasn't upset. I told him that I would appreciate it if he would stop making an issue of it--obviously he doesn't care if I get upset or not. He argued with that and I said, "H, look, you can't be a lazy lover AND say that you care about me being upset. You can't have it both ways. Your actions indicate to me that you do not care if I am upset or not." He said that I was right.
Then he starts touching me and I asked him several times to stop. I suppose he thought it was one of those Fake Stop kinda moves cause he never did. We ended up having sex but it was nothing more than f*cking..a release of a physical buildup. I told him that, afterwards. I couldn't help it, I still felt so pissy about everything.
Here is the funny thing (or maybe not so funny): Saturday I began feeling my libido returning. I felt little sexual flashes here and there. Sunday I actually felt horny, which was something I hadn't felt in a week or more. It wasn't a constant barrage, like it usually is, but it would appear and be very strong and then go away. In short, I could feel my body coming back to its more normal state. My actions were, no doubt, giving this away. I found myself going for hugs more...looking for him in our house to find him..wanting to be physically near him..trying to extend hugs...ETC. You all know the drill. I know he picked up on it b/c at one point he looked me right in the eye and said, Get back! Niiiiiiiiiice.
And, for the record, I am NOT the type of person who crowds his personal space. As I've said, I have to keep x's and o's on my list of goals because I don't give them to him enough, according to him.
Anyway, the whole day was a bust. The arguing, the failed sex attempt, my obvious horniness vs. his obvious need to get away from me...blech.
You know what he was most distressed about? The fact that I would not be "happy and forgiving" anymore. He felt like he blew his chance with the Nice Honeypot and was distressed over THAT. Not over the fact that he pulled some bologna tease move and upset me, but over the fact that he would now have to deal with the consequence of that decision. He even said, I know it sounds self centered but I liked it better when you acted like that last week. uh, yeah, it does sound selfish!
I never did fess up that the reason I was so calm was because my body was chillin out big time. At any rate, I have made plans for the day and am NOT going to sit around and stew.
Life as usual in the Honey House, folks! Ups and downs galore. Overall though, I am in a fine mood today. I think I will limit contact with my H, though, because he may say or do something to jeopardize my mood, lol.
Polar Express is a really great movie. I think it would be good for kids. Hubby and I saw it when it first came out. I can see it becoming a classic Christmas movie I know that it is based on a book, which I had never heard of, but the movie is wonderful
She'd hold it all day, then when she went, she'd do it for a minute and a half!) 
I know that it is based on a book, which I had never heard of, but the movie is wonderful