HP: I think he just wants to be the pursuer from time to time.
Happy Hanukkah.
By the way, I rented your favorite movie for my son, who just finished reading the book: "Carrie." We haven't had a chance to watch it yet, but he's really psyched. Of course, it is the original movie, with Sissy.
Hairy, I only watched that movie once and it scared the dickens outta me. I read the book, also, when I was going thru a Stephen King phase in junior high. Yuck. I hate scary movies and books and had nightmares forever. These days, I can't even watch Law and Order without jumping out of my skin. What a wimp, I know.
Maybe he does want to pursue me. He has never been comfortable in that role, and has expressed that to me numerous times. He does not like to initiate and doesn't want to have to show desire. But...stranger things have happened. Personally I think he was just feeling nervous over why I hadn't wanted him since the previous week..had he done something wrong...was I biding my time until a big blowout, etc.
It's awful that he thinks this way but I can't say it is without justification.
Honeypot, who is now edumacated enough to play dreidel with Hairdoggie.
HP, Since you mentioned in one of the comments someplace here, that your spouse is a Trekker, tonight would be a good night to watch the director's edition of Star Trek: The Motion Picture, as it is the 25th anniversary of it's release. He might be impressed with some Trek info from his spouse.
Scott -Jumping in with a totally non-sex related comment.
"Satisfaction is not guaranteed." Rule #19 Ferengi "Rules of Acquistition"
Hey Scott! I actually had to post that message twice cause D2 erased it the first time. In the original message, I made a comment to you about the Star Trek convo with H.
I wouldn't call my H a trekker. In fact, I doubt he has watched an episode in at least 10 yrs. Or watched any of the movies. He does like science fiction movies, but then again he likes movies in general. I do not. I don't like to watch television either. Not to make myself sound like I am "above" all that..I just prefer to get my dose of fantasy-escape from books and not moving pictures.
The conversation actually went farther than what I posted, but in the interest of only mildly boring people (as opposed to utterly boring the crud outta them) I only posted the guts of it. He went on to say that I 'rescued' him from a life of being addicted to the boob tube. I said, So if I wasn't around, you'd be a Survivor-watchin fool like your siblings? He said yes absolutely.
Now I could care less if he watches TV or goes to the movies (his 4 siblings go at least once a week which is crazy to me!) but he wants to be with me and I don't care for it. None of which has any relevance at all to anything, except that I started wondering if perhaps he misses just sitting down and veg'ing in front of the tube. So this last week I've been encouraging him to watch a little TV and I will sit with him and read. He seems to really like this! I had a tendency to go take a bath if he wanted to watch a movie b/c they were always John Wayne or Clint Eastwood and the like. The point is that I would rarely stay right next to him while he watched. So I think he gave it up so that he could be with me. I didn't realize that he still enjoyed it...he has never watched much television since we met. But that little Star Trek comment got me thinking and we continued the conversation and I made a mental note to suggest that he watch a little tube and see what happens. It seems to relax him. He is the type who has to be 'asked' to do things that he really wants to do anyway. Isn't that strange? He feels guilty sitting down and taking a load off. Very hyperactive and on the go, all the time.
Anyhoo, this was a long answer to your very good suggestion. I would say that to him about the ST anniversary but I think he'd be quite suspicious about how I came by that information!
Btw, I'm glad to hear that things are settling down for you at work. Didn't you say that you had a busy time of it lately?
Hey HP, You could always get him addicted to DVD's, like me , as the Original series, seasons one and two are out(three will be here next week), all of Next Gen and DS9 are out and the last two seasons of Voyager will be out by the end of the month. I always find an episode of Trek a nice way to relax and since the episodes are under an hour, it doesn't eat up that much time and leaves one time for eating out other things, . As, unlike your hubby, going down on the spouse is always a fun time for me.
Actually work is due to be nuts until February or March , as most of my companies business has it's renewals for January. I am a senior CSR for a large HMO here in Minneapolis. We just got an email memo saying to take only time off necessary in January and not to take Mondays or Tuesdays if possible. . So no, work will be nuts for the near future.
However things are looking way up on the home front. We finally finished the bathroom remodel and now have a shower in the bathroom on the main floor for the first time in 15 years. Houses that were built when ours was (1923) did not have showers in the bathroom but in a nice dark and cold corner of the basement, so there has not been the inclination from my spouse for coed showers. I have been hinting that we could shower together, well timing hasn't worked out yet, but I asked her about doing that Sunday am and she said, no she needs to get ready for church, but we could do something Saturday night! Well, I was not one to miss a hint like that and we had a nice time. So this makes two weeks in a row for Scott!! And we're both agreed that we are ready to stop our once a month counselling sessions and work on it on our own. We do have our Marriage Encounter group that meets about once a month that we can use to help with communication issues.
Scott -Who is thrilled to be able to put both Trek and Sex in one comment.
"Satisfaction is not guaranteed." Rule #19 Ferengi "Rules of Acquistition"
Scott, Glad things are looking up for you! Good job on the bathroom remodel. H is finishing up our bathroom as well (it was a new one that he added, as opposed to a remodel) He did a great job; I'm so proud of him. I can totally relate to the shower in cellar thing. I grew up in a house that is 150+ yrs old and my dad always showered in the basement. There were too many bugs and critters for us girls to feel comfy with that so when we got older he installed a bathroom with a shower for us. Probably, too, so he wouldn't have to fight with 5 girls for shower time. LOL Oh and you couldn't access the cellar except from outside..you know, a real cellar door...and there was NO WAY five teenage girls were going to trek outside in the winter to go shower.
At the time, I thought it was the weirdest and most un-hip house ever, but these days it is quite fashionable to have a house that old and with so much character. It's a beautiful old home.
About the DVD's...well, maybe someday. Right now, we don't have time to watch much, what with trying to get all the D's in bed. Plus, my H watches about 15 minutes of tv at a time. He usually rents DVD's from the library and it takes him a week or so to finish one. Remember...my H loves his sleep. Not even a good cowboy movie is going to deter him from that! But I do think that that 15 minutes allows him to relax, unwind, etc. I think that going from messing with the D's to messing with the W was wearing on him. Since he is the type of person who would NEVER say what he wants or needs (frankly I'm not even sure he could identify it if I straight up asked him) I am often left to guess and try to figure it out. Not that it's my job, it isn't, but hey if sitting with him while he watches 15 min of a movie makes him feel good, why on earth wouldn't I do that?
Nothing much to report. Had a nice night with H. Encouraged him to watch tv again, but got on his nerves a little tiny bit with my presence. It is a fine line, I will learn his preferences as I go along, I suppose. It would help if he were not passive aggressive and could just tell me what he wants and likes but oh well, I'm clever enough to figure it out or deduce from his irritation what I need to do, lol.
No sex but lots of nice cuddling. There is a seed of resentment trying to sow itself in my head so I hope that this evening goes well. It has been weeks since my H has initiated a sexual encounter just cause he wanted to and not out of fear that it had "been too long" or as a kiss and make up tactic. We ML Monday night but he had fallen asleep and woke up about 20 minutes later and initiated while still asleep. I asked if he was having a sexy dream and he said no but he didn't know where it was coming from nonetheless! I love ML to him, regardless of the "why" but it sure would be nice to know that he is actually wanting to ML to ME and not because his body physically needs it or he is trying to stave off a fight.
To that end, I will do my best to set a sexy mood tonight and keep the resentment at bay. I need him to initiate and be involved and present and eager to be with ME. I realize I am setting myself up but what else should I do?
I LOVE your sexual happiness scale. I completely understand where you are coming from. Further, I know that even though I am completely exhausted, frustrated about work etc... that my body would also "spring to life" if he showed an interest. I am experiencing considerably lowered libido right now but I am not sure if it is because of my physical exhaustion or just being tired of piloting the good ship "Marital Relations." My H also finds tv relaxing (he likes the same junk that your H does) but he finds my reading while he watches to be distracting - he experiences it as "distancing" and gets uncomfortable. Does it bother your H?
. As, unlike your hubby, going down on the spouse is always a fun time for me.
, as most of my companies business has it's renewals for January. I am a senior CSR for a large HMO here in Minneapolis. We just got an email memo saying to take only time off necessary in January and not to take Mondays or Tuesdays if possible. 
