Definitely keep at it and be honest with him. It hasn't been easy, but it's definitely been worth it. Most of the time I notice small improvements. This past week I think if was a major improvement.
Throughout the Holidays, things weren't the greatest sexually speaking...but in retrospect things were actually much better than they were this time last year.
We have only ML one time in the last three weeks, so my H hasn't exactly held to our "schedule"...but then you know what? Neither have I.
Am I getting depressed about our lull at the moment...well yes, sometimes...but I'm making a concious choice at the moment to concentrate right now on the things he has improved on to help me not allow my negative attitude to take back over.
I will admit that the one time we did ML was unusual for us...we finally managed to ML in a room other than our bedroom which is a definite first for us. The other type of sexual activity we had (which was just this past Saturday night)....was very simple. I got a "wild hair" and decided to give my H a blow-job...just because I felt like it and I know he likes them.
I hopped off the couch where I was sitting....went over to him at the recliner where he was...proceeded to strip him which wasn't difficult with sweats on LOL. I was kneeling between his legs and asked if there was anything he'd like me to do (knowing he'd say "I don't know", see I had a plan here )...I then proceeded with the blow-job.
When I was finished...and so was he. I looked up at him and asked if he liked it when I did that....of c ourse he said "yes!" So I said back..."Now you have something you can ask me to do when I ask "if there's anything you'd like".
Now it wasn't ML, but it was fun for me. I ended things at that point and we finished watching the movie we had been watching. I know he was completely surprised that I left thigns at that...but I wanted him to see that we don't always have to have a full-blown ML session in order to enjoy each other.
I did that because with our lull I was beginning to wonder if he thought that all sexual contact had to lead to ML every time. I don't want him to think that way.
So that's our update for now....yes, we've hit a hiccup. But I believe it will be a temporary one.
And the 'lull' thing is pretty normal, I'd guess. I know that we went through that about six months into it. I was tired from the fight..not sure if I was up for the challenge I had created for myself. I briefly felt really blah about the whole thing. Luckily it didn't last long and we got through it. I was amazed at how my H handled himself throughout that spell.
Keep at it and don't let him back out of any more scheduled nights! Otherwise you will deprive all of us perverts from the good stories. LOL
It was an unusual experience for us...it just dawned on me that this was actually the fist time that he'd watched me give him a blow-job too. That's another thing he's never done...and I commented on it during the whole thing.
He seemed to really like the fact that I noticed he was watching and appreciating what I was doing...so I made the effort to look back at him during the whole thing (which is very difficult for me, but WOW what a powerful feeling).
So while, I was still put off as far as ML goes...we didn't go completely sexually inactive and made a stride forward again (in a way).
I don't remember who it was now who mentioned this in their post (it may have been you)...but I couldn't help thinking while I was sitting on the couch waiting for him to initiate something "why haven't I had sex this weekend?". I mean I knew I could, but I'd have to be the one to get things going. He's made really quite a bit of progress in the past several months...did I really want to let my pride stand in the way of doing what I really wanted to do. I wanted to giveh im a BJ, so I did! You know what? He didn't complain one little bit LOL.
Good for you! I notice that I frequently have success when I approach things from that attitude. Sometimes the only one standing in the way is me. In that way, I know I need to grow up and state my interest instead of sit and wait for him. I guess I keep hoping for H to imitate those kind of behaviors sometime.
