I wanted to talk about DBing in the midst of litigation. Since I'm in litigaiton, I really can't post a lot.
The gist of where we're at now is that W filed for D last month, but since my state is a "fault" state, she has to allege cruel and inhuman treatment, not just irreconcilable differences or a "dead marriage."
In short, she has to paint me as a crazy nut job who is unsafe to live with and I have to say, "That's not true, let me to you what's really going on." Not exactly an exercise in validating. There'a a lot more, but basically a legal case is everyhting anti-DBing in terms of laying negativity on the table. How does one operate in that sitch and I'm relying on your experience with couples in this sitch?
As an important aside, I'm pretty grounded and am taking good care of myself. Thanks.
"The path that truly heals and redeems begins at the point when we realize we want more perspective, purpose, and passion in life. It passes through the dark terrain of the shadow of death, through the dry desert where little makes sense and where we lose most, if not all that seems important to us. And then it takes us into a green, verdant valley that was the place of tears, and is now a meadow of lush joy and inconceivable pleasure. My belief is that doubt, despair, and disappointment are not only a reality of daily life, they are also the tools God uses to grow faith , hope, and love in us. If we run from what we fear or find displeasureable, we actually rob ourselves of the joy God intends for us to experience as we walk through our past, play with our future, and live now with new passion." Dan Allendar, "The Healing Path"
Take care,
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
1) Laurie is a great DB Coach!!! Out of absolutely nothing she ultimately was able to construct a goal for me that matched my heart with life's reality. Nothing earth-shattering, but a new focus on something positive.
2) If any of you guys are longing for your W (or subconciously another woman), I suggest you watch The Gastineau Girls on E! tonight at 9:30 EST. Watch these two for a half-hour and you won't want to go anywhere near a woman for a long, long time--or at least until the next episode!
3) Not much else to report on the M front, but all else is going very well. I had my second scrutiny rites yesterday in preparation for baptism and the Gospel readings during Lent are an extraordinary journey into God's love, mercy, and the power of conversion. If you're willing to take the time, the Bible--both New and Old Testaments--is like a never ending onion with which you can peel away revelation after revelation into the human and divine spirit.
As a result, while I'm somewhat bedeviled by the day-to-day dealings of the divorce action, I also can remain reasonably calm, focussed, and satisfied with the simple purposes of life--which is one of the sweetest gifts of Faith. It's not easy and I have along way to go, but I really feel that I'm on the right path and truly believe that no matter what happens to me--I will not only be okay, but I also have the capacity to thrive. What more could I ask for? (Don't answer that )
Merrick, Let us know when we can answer that, OK? (I am sure we ALL have lots of advice for you!!)
Take care dear person as you walk through these next sacred steps,
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
I'm holding you in prayer this Lenten season, that the forces at play in your D not diminish or taint the wonderfulness of your quest for greater truth. I appreciate your push toward Baptism, and believe with you that in God, all things are possible. This D is just a threshold that your W desires to pass through. It has no jurisdiction over the truth.
I agree that the Bible has so many wonderful "layers" of wisdom for us.
Take care of yourself. I'll be celebrating your baptism with you from afar at the Easter Vigil.
Thanks everyone. I could not let your posts go by without an acknowledgement. Words alone cannot express my deepest gratitude to those who comprehend and appreciate the process I am going through. So many people have shared in my sitch and offered tremendous insight and support. However, I am especially grateful to the broader community of believers (both Old and New Testament) that has sustained me in my darkest hours and continually reinforced the deepest yearnings of my soul.
Quote: This D is just a threshold that your W desires to pass through. It has no jurisdiction over the truth.
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I agree with Betsey, Gabe, what a great observation! I've just started to truly understand the deeper meaning of "The Truth Will Set You Free," and it is amazing. I often think the real test of my journey is not what I'm beginning to feel now, but how I'll act 5 or 10 years from now. I would hope that my Faith runs deep enough to recall what it has done for me this past year--and to some extent my entire life in at least keeping me on a reasonably straight path.
Back to the rat race. It's snowing outside and I can't believe that in less than a month I'll be sitting in Yankee Stadium again--assuming W doesn't get 1/2 of my seats!!! Be good!
Quote: If any of you guys are longing for your W (or subconciously another woman), I suggest you watch The Gastineau Girls on E! tonight at 9:30 EST. Watch these two for a half-hour and you won't want to go anywhere near a woman for a long, long time--or at least until the next episode!
In an another absolutely classic coincidence in my life, W went to a charity event in NYC last night--something she has NEVER done before.
Can you guess who she meets and considers the highlight of the night?
The Gastineau Girls!!!!!!!!!
D9 didn't know who they were, and in my best DBing I refrained from saying one's the golddigging Mom who divorced her football husband and took him for all he's worth (although her husband was no saint) and that if D9 grew up to be like them--I would have serious concerns about my success as a Father. Instead, I told her that they have a TV show I would not let her watch! Oh well.
Out of absolutely nothing she ultimately was able to construct a goal for me that matched my heart with life's reality. Nothing earth-shattering, but a new focus on something positive.
) 
