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Gee, I was feeling pretty good.

Got slammed this evening.

I don't figure I have a leg to stand on.

Talked to D and he hadn't been to the house recently and I needed to drop off some stuff he had said I could borrow.

So I watered the plants and checked the mail.

Got a bill from my A for the divorce that was final in July!!!

She wants $935.00 more dollars and I had already paid her what she said she would charge to do my divorce and then at the courthouse when we agreed in the settlement not to ask D for A fees she said I didn't owe her anything else.

I certainly don't have that money right now with all the start up costs on the new house.

Opened my cell phone bill and since I gave it out, while I was mostly between houses that is where everyone calls me now and it is horrendous this month. Last month was bad, but this one is much worse.

Then D has had the field gate replaced, which it needed, but I think he is supposed to discuss repairs with me before money is spent that will be pulled out of the equity once the house sells.

The evening has to get better, right?????

Well, it wasn't too productive of an evening but I did work in the kids room some.

The cell phone I can change the plan or just start turning it off, which is what I plan to do today.

The gate I don't think D would get too carried away spending money on the house so basically it would be easier on me to just drop it and let him do what he wants.

The A thing I just still can't believe. No idea what to do on it.

Yesterday I called one dog friend and talked for a long time and then e-mailed another one and heard back from her this morning. So doing some reconnecting with dog people. I consider that a good sign in myself that I am reaching back out to familiar people and activities. Maybe I am about done running and hiding! I hope.

Everyone chose to make it a great day.

Good Morning Sage,

I don't think you are sounding bossy! I call it helpful.

I don't agree with all of her breakdown but would suppose most of it is fairly accurate. I had to do a lot of the paperwork that she is billing me for as hers wasn't accurate.

But, what gets me is I would NEVER have agreed to not asking D for A fees had I known she was going to bill me for almost a $1,000.00 above what I had already paid her!!!!!

Why would she tell me I wasn't going to owe her anything else when A fees were discussed for settlement purposes?

Because she really is a lousy A?

I left her a vm last night expressing that I didn't understand why I was receiving this bill, when it was discussed at settlement that I didn't owe her anything else so I agreed to not asking D for A fees.

Not easy to pull the mind away from the A thing, but hope this will get easier as it becomes a habit for me to look at positives rather than negatives.

Positives:

I have a job to at least be able to make payments on my bills and house.

I have the shelties and their unconditional love at all times.

The kids are adjusting and all seem fairly healthy right now!

I am starting to step out a bit and reach out to people in my past again.

I have a wonderful new neighbor and friend.

I like my new house.

I love fall and the colors are beautiful right now.

I have friends who seem to care about me and as I start to step out a bit more I am finding them still there for me.

I also have e-mail friends that I have made over my year on the bb and they mean a lot to me.

I left my car windows down all night and thank goodness it didn't pour down rain!!!!

Didn't hear anything back from my A yesterday. She may have called the number at PK, but at 3:00 there were no calls from her at PK.

Stayed pretty bummed a good part of yesterday, but by afternoon was feeling a bit better. D actually FINALLY returned a call and we discussed the cell phone. Going to get more info on it.

If I go in as a new contract I have no activation fee and a free phone. If we change the current one to my name there are all sorts of fees associated with it and I am being told it cannot be upgraded to a different plan. So for now I am leaving it off a bit more.

The workers shut my water off when they left last night. I scrounged around and finally found the neighbor across the streets phone number to call and see if they had water and they did. He said he would come and turn my water back on for me. I thought that was really nice of him.

He has passed out a paper for everyone to fill out with their name, address, phone numbers, children names and emergency contact person. I thought that was really nice of him. He is going to type it all up and hand it out when he gets the info. Anything you don't want given out you just don't list.

I still really think if I had to move I ended up right where I am supposed to be as JJ always says.

Stepping down the Zoloft I am starting to either dream more or remember my dreams more.

I dreamed last night I met JJ and his wife, mostly his wife. It was very strange. I was a clerk in a store they came into as they were passing through wherever I was at. I have never worked in any sort of store in my life so NO idea why that dream. Where is Shiny when I need an interpretation????

Worked on my garage some more and was just able to get my car in but it is pretty tight squeeze.
Shoot even with everything out it is going to be hard getting in and out of vehicles in the garage. They can call it two car, but it isn't comfortably two car!!!

But I feel much more positive again this morning. I have worked on the kids room some, the kitchen some and last night I also worked on the kids room and the paper to give the neighbor. So being productive does help my mood! The problem is to get myself productive when I am feeling rather down.

Everyone have a wonderful day!!

Pam -- I think I want to move into your neighborhood Everyone there sounds so darned inviting!!!

Sage

Hey Sage,

So far it seems to be a really nice neighborhood.

You are most welcome to move on down, but I have a feeling you would miss too many things up your way!!!

M says the cul de sac is sort of a gathering place when the weather is nice and folks are out walking and visiting.

The shelties haven't really adjusted to having all the neighbors yet. Lots of barking.

But they should eventually get used to it.

Hi Pam!

I do hope I was fully clothed in your dream last night! It seems that whenever I have a dream about myself being in a public place, I've forgotten to put on some article of clothing!

It sounds like you've found yourself a great new place, with a lot of good people around! I'm so happy for you!

JJ,

It is sooo good to see your smiling presence again!!! I thought you had written me off since I ended up divorced. I am sure I will always think of you when I watch, "The Bishop's Wife".

It seems strange sometimes how people you have never met can have such an impact on your life. Now, when I am working on certain things or trying to keep myself calm there are different people and different posts I think of, some of them from months back.

I was never sure about it before when you used to say you are right where you need to be. But I truly think I am right where I need to be to heal and to grow past some problems I have had my whole adult life. I think M was sent to help me adjust. She is soooo wonderful, she surely can't be real. Maybe my whole neighborhood is a figment of my imagination.

Shades of Brigadoon! Let's see how many folks have seen that movie!!

You will be pleased to know that everyone was fully clothed in my dream.

I really do like it here so far and hopefully continue to do so.

I just walked a paper over to my neighbors tonight and it just seemed peaceful and friendly out. I mean no one was out but that was the feeling I had while walking over. It just seems a friendly neighborhood and I hope it stays that way. There are six new houses going up on our street so if they are all sold lots of new neighbors before long.