Last night H called to talk to the boys and I got to speak to his highness for a minute. Literally a minute if that. H said that he was in Brazil doing ______ for his business and I asked how that was going. H's reply was "terrible." I said what do you mean it's going terrible? H - "I don't want to talk about it now, I am tired and I just want to go to bed, now let me talk to the boys and I will call you tomorrow."
So ok, now get this, H actually called here this am to talk to ME.
He told me some things that were going on in his business and I asked him what it was that was "terrible."
H - "Now come on Pam, you dona't have to be a rocket scientist to figure this out."
Me (still clueless) - "H, I don't really know what you are talking about. Are you saying things are terrible in your business or personally."
H - "Personally" "I am in a lot of pain right now and I am getting sick of all this."
Me "I hear what you are saying"
So that is basically the gist of it. I didn't pressure for more details or tell him that my prayers for him to be miserable with OW were being answered. I just listened and validated, the picture of calm unconditional unmelodramatic love.
A few months ago I would have been estatic, but I have seen H miserable with OW before and still go running right back to her, what a glutton for punishment he is.
So for today I am just seeing this as one teensy tiny step in the right direction.
He also says that he is coming home Saturday although I will believe that when I see it. He also says that he can't wait to get out of that God-forsaken country and I validated that big time.
Just to give you a mental picture of what I am talking about...
H is standing outside of his office in a rather large city in Brazil talking to me on his cell phone and you can actually hear roosters crowing in the background. The roosters are two doors down. Imagine being in a large city like San Francisco or Chicago and two doors down from your office building is a poor family with a dirt back yard and roosters crowing. Welcome to Brazil. I would truly be estatic if H never had to go there again, but that's another story.
We seem to be running on parallel tracks at the moment. Your H has moved close to and away from OW a number of times?
My H went off with OW 1, got dumped, started up with OW 2, they split, H hooked up again briefly with OW 1, got dumped, hooked up with OW 2 again, seems he got dumped recently, and now I don't know where things are heading.....
Like folk are asking me over on my thread, what are you doing to ring in some changes? How will you attract H's attention when he comes to pick up the boys? What are you doing to stay positive? How will you keep him intrigued? Have you created any mystery around you???
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
You are asking all of the six million dollar questions.
I guess that I need to put some degree of thought into all of this.
Basically I have tried to be the calm in the midst of the OW storm, I know that she is a hot tempered South American and H tells me that he tires of her volatility. I think he was intially attracted to her because she was so diff from me, but now those same diffs are beginning to wear on him.
Speaking of H, he callled again this afternoon. Hasn't called 2x in ages, prob months. He is sharing his business woes with me. I told him I was here to listen anytime and that it was prob nice for him to be able to speak to someone in English. Might have been too direct a hit at OW, but I couldn't resist.
"I am in a lot of pain right now and I am getting sick of all this."
