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Quick update...went out with a friend for dinner last night...had a great time, it was good to see her! She was very thoughtful and appreciative of the time we spent together!

Got home early enough to see the first pitch of the Red Sox game...GO SOX!

I'm off to my second acupuncture in a bit...I haven't mentioned it to h...feeling shy about it because I know he thinks it's crap...note to self...he doesn't have to AGREE with it to hear about it!

he's home early from school today so he's getting our "going for the world series sweep" dinner together! Yahoo!

Sage

Hi Sage,

Just wanted to let you know that I tried acupuncure a while back and it was wonderful! I suffer from migraine headaches (used to be a lot worse before having dd). At the time, the only thing that helped with my migraines was acupuncure. I would go up to 3 months without one! This is pretty big when I used to get them almost every month and for up to 2 weeks at a time.

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note to self...he doesn't have to AGREE with it to hear about it!

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Yup!

Have a great time tonight!
Minnie

Minnie --

It's so good to hear your positive experiences with acupuncture! I'm really interested and hopeful that it will be positive for me as well..but I have to say that last night didn't go well at all..

I had told h I would be home around 6:15 but I had misjudged how long the appt would take (thought it would be about an hour but it was almost 2!) so the whole time I was completely freaking out (not good!). I hadn't told h where I was going (because I was nervous about that too!) and that just added to my anxiety. I called h as soon as the appt was done and he was totally cool, only had been worried about me, was I ok, etc....but the whole appointment felt very stressful. also, and this is not a reflection on the acupuncturist at all...I started feeling very uncomfortable because he's a man...I just ended up being left with a really uneasy feeling...so this AM I called him and told him I was cancelling my next appointment and why...he seemed fine with it, was very understanding but acupuncture makes me stressed out!!! I have a call into another person (a woman this time!)

Anyway...that's my tale...I got home, we had thai food, and then watched the greatest sports event in history!!! What a tremendously awesome game!!!!

Positives for the day:

1. h did a TON of things around the house...it was amazing how much he accomplished!

2. h was completely cool about me being late coming home, was totally fine with the acupuncture discussion, etc

3. after the red sox won, h and I celebrated with champagne! h said something about never giving up on the underdogs and then thanked me for sticking with him (an "underdog" )

4. AOS -- h was very appreciative of me taking out the trash

5. QT -- need I say more??? HOORAY FOR THE WORLD CHAMPIONS!

6. WOA -- noted and appreciated his work around the house

7. PT -- good hanging out time on the couch

Looks like we're back to normal in Beantown...gonna start getting more sleep, that's for sure!

Sage

Awesome insight from Betsey from Slowly's thread...

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It reminds me of a question on Hud's thread many moons ago. Someone asked, "Is it helpful to understand the plane wreck you were in? Or is it more helpful to replay the survival techniques?"

Hud, in his infinite brilliance combined with humor, had a lightbulb moment. He commented that he HAD survived a real plane crash and commented that the experience was one he would consistently choose not to relive.

The point? Some people do not know the answer to the question. Others choose not to take the time to figure out the reasons. And still, others find the truth too painful to broach. I knew why I chose to have an EA, but that doesn't mean everyone is willing to replay something that brings them shame and guilt and whatever other horrid emotions that bubble to the surface.

What counts is the steps we take to get past it. Right?

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Hi Sage,

Sorry to hear that your appointment was so stressful. It's not a good thing if you're stressed at your acupuncture appointment!

I, too, tend to feel more comfortable with female doctors than with male; even my dentist is a woman.

hmmmm...come to think of it, I sorta uncomfortable around men period. Oh, sorry...that belongs on your other thread.

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h was completely cool about me being late coming home, was totally fine with the acupuncture discussion, etc

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This is so great Sage! I am so happy that your H is so thoughtful, insightful, loving.....sigh

Take care and I hope your next appointment is more relaxing.

Minnie

Sage, I am not a baseball fan but I am so glad that the Red Sox won!!

You are such an inspiration. Thank you for hanging around the boards. I am very much into the 5 LL's so your "report" of how he is filling your love tank with many of the 5 LL's is awesome!!

Can I email you a question????? nikatnight04@yahoo.com

Thanks,

Nik

Good Morning Sage,

Sounds like you are doing your usual awesome figuring out of yourself and what you need.

I am feeling much better today so I need to figure out what the difference is if I can.

I hope to work on the other thread this weekend.

Have a wonderful day!!!

Nik and Pam, Thanks for the visits, girls!!! Nik, I sent you an e-mail.

Had a very good night last night...I got home around 6 and h was relaxing. We snuggled up for a while and talked. Then we decided (OK, HE was the motivated one!) to brave "errand night" and go food shopping. We got stuff to make dinner while we were out and we cooked together. Relaxed in front of the tv after that and went to bed early.

H is planning on going into town tomorrow to see the Red Sox parade -- I just don't have it in me to brave the crowds so I'm gonna catch up on my sleep and my house stuff. Sunday I have a study group and then h is having some friends over for the Pats game. Not sure if I'll hang out at home or maybe visit sis (just had baby #2 and sounds like she's having a rough go!).

QT: Yesterday was all about QT -- just hanging out together, talking, running errands. H was very positive about "errand night" which I really, really appreciate

AOS: I'm not sure I did anything specific here

WOA: Thanked h for a number of things.

PT:

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One thing happened last night which was a good reminder for me...after we went food shopping and were cooking together something happened where h did something and the thought flashed into my head "how could he have done that? doesn't he care about me?" -- now, it was something like he walked in front of me while I was trying to do something...oh, wait, it was that he opened the freezer door above my head while I was crouched down putting something in the fridge...it just seemed to be so unthinking that I super personalized it. Later, I was handing him something and he took it really quickly and hurt my thumb (which was already hurting from biting my nail! gross!). Same deal...I remember thinking "how could he do that!"

Anyway...after the thoughts flashed into my head the more rational ones quickly followed...(the "get real, sage, he's not doing that to bug you" ones). I did apologize to h for the finger one because I felt like I had reacted badly to him...the REMINDER is that pre-bomb I felt this way about just about EVERYTHING...every action, cough, word, everything from h I interpreted as a reflection on how he felt about me...and as a result I walked around pissed off a good deal of the time...I had forgotten how much anger I had been harboring at that time until I saw the little glimmers of it again yesterday...NO WONDER we were both miserable!!!!!! I'm glad I don't live in that space anymore (just an occasional visit! )

Sage

It's a constant vigilance, isn't it? I find myself doing the very same things - "How inconsiderate," "He only thinks of himself," "Why doesn't he notice I'm sitting right here," "How could he do that," etc.

If our spouses spent HALF the energy doing things to spite us that we make up in our heads - they'd be spending ALL their waking hours plotting how to make our lives miserable! Isn't it amazing how nutty we can be?

As a reminder to myself, sometimes I think about what I would say aloud to S. when he does something that makes me think those thoughts. Taking your example, "H, I can't believe you just took that out of my hand too fast and hurt my thumb. Don't you care about me?" And the way the words would sound out loud is just ridiculous enough to put the thought right out of my head.

Just a quick weekend update...h has some of the guys over for the Pats game...I'm hanging out paying bills (online! what a tremendous time saver!) and answering the door for the trick or treaters...

It's been a good but busy weekend...we went to the movies Friday night ("Birth" -- not a great film ) and then to pizza. Saturday we both slept late then h did homework while I went to help out with my sis (baby number 2 is a constant crier! ). I got home on the late side so we just went and got a quick bite. Today we got up early and went to the gym. I had a group meeting at school so off I went! Ran some errands on the way home which brings us to tonight.

H has done some awfully cute things over the last few days...danced with me on Friday night while singing a made up song...lots of "who's a babe?" comments, etc.

Hard to believe but the 2 year anniversary of the bomb is tomorrow. I spent some time on Friday reading my first threads...amazing how some things are so dramatically different than those early days. In some ways I'll never forget that pain but in others I had forgotten just how IMMEDIATE it all felt...I'm not sure I can really explain.

Anyway...I haven't forgotten about the self-esteem thread just not enough time over the last few days to do it justice. Looks like it's almost time for a new thread here, too...got some ideas.

Sage