Today we had "Grandma's Xmas" at my mom's house - a tradition that got started because of the difficulty of getting the whole family together on Xmas, so she usually holds it on a separate date.
My older brother - who left his third wife quite unceremoniously just before my H dropped the bomb - and who is now engaged to another woman (who we have never been quite sure if she could have been the OW or not) - came. I haven't seem him since last Xmas, when he brought his new girlfriend (now fiance) for us to meet for the first time.
She seemed nice enough at the time, and everybody was very polite, although I'm sure it wasn't the welcoming "gee, isn't this great" response she might have expected. (My brother wasn't even through with the divorce before they got engaged). Still, I thought we all did pretty well at being polite to her.
So my brother shows up at my mom's today with just his D20 - no fiance. Then he mutters something to my mom about how the fiance told him she didn't want to be "forced" to come. Apparently, according to what my younger brother told us later, she feels like we were rude to her last year so she doesn't want to come.
My older brother proceeds to be a glum martyr throughout the proceedings, casting a definite pall over the day.
The irony of course is, we really didn't have anything against his fiance (who probably is not the OW, as near as we can tell). We just felt extremely uncomfortable, knowing what the future held for her, as it did for his last 3 wives: after the dopamine high of new love wore off, he would fall back into his chronic depression, turn from a white knight into a tv-watching couch-potato who snipes at his wife and puts her down in public, allow himself to feel like some kind of put-upon martyr, and when his grumping doesn't get the desired response, dump her without any attempt at marriage counseling.
He's 51 years old, and it's pitiful. His fiance is a grown woman whose kids are college age - so wouldn't you think she would wonder about a man who has been married three times already? Wouldn't you think she'd understand his family not jumping into her lap?
It's just sad and difficult to watch and frankly, we were all ready to give her the benefit of the doubt until now. Unfortunately, this seems to just confirm my suspicion that there must be something wrong with someone who would jump into a R with my brother without questioning his history. And of course, this means she is probably not the person who is going to help him get the psychiatric help he really needs.
On a better note, though - my younger brother also brought his new girlfriend (he's been seeing her for several months). My younger brother's wife dumped him right after my H dropped the bomb - it was a heck of a year. He took it really hard. The new girlfriend seems really nice, though - on the way home, my kids all raved about how they liked her and hoped my brother would "keep" her
Well - off to Mammoth tomorrow for a few days snowboarding with the kids, while my poor restless H has to stay in the condo - he's not allowed to ride or ski, his surgeon is afraid of him getting a hernia in one of the incision sites for his appendectomy. Think of the most wiggly grade school boy you know, and then you'll know why this is hard for my H I think I'll have to sneak back while the kids are still on the slopes and distract him
Ellie - it sounds like it was quite the year for everyone in your family. At least you were able to keep everything together, and I hope you enjoy snowboarding!!!
Okay, now I KNOW you are all going to think I am MAKING THIS STUFF UP, but my H and D14 just left for the ER where she is going to be evaluated for - you guessed it - ACUTE APPENDICITIS!!!! And I really think she does have it!
Ellie, so glad it wasn't acute appendicitis....sheesh. Hope your New Year is joyful (and without medical drama). I wanted to say thank you as well for all the support you have offered me this year. I will wear my bracelet and think of you in Istanbul!
GBO - glad you will be wearing your goddess bracelet! I'm so jealous - I love to travel, almost got to go to Istanbul once but it fell through - someday though!
Soup - sounds like your Xmas was good. I have a feeling this is going to be a great year
Did I mention what I got for Xmas? H bought me a beautiful Hawaiian bracelet that says "kuuipo" on it - which means "sweetheart" Also tickets to a funny play tonight for the two of us It's called "Late Night Catechism", and since we both went to Catholic schools growing up, we should get all the jokes
And my buy of the month - while in Mammoth, we went to the Bass outlet store - they were having a sale, 50% off their already-discounted prices on shoes - so I got a great pair of stylish, high-heeled, semi-pointed toe black shortie boots for $25
This morning I sent S18 off by himself on a plane to Atlanta to visit his best friend for a week. His friend moved away 1 1/2 years ago, but they still talk every week on the phone. He's excited and since he's not the most independent kid, I'm excited he's finally mature enough to fly by himself He's the kind of little bird you have to shove out of the nest!
