The other day I asked my H one of those philosophical questions that he absolutely hates. He didn't get mad, he just said he didn't have an answer. At the end of the day, I asked him if he'd thought about it. We talked very briefly on the subject, and eventually he answered the question. It was one sentence, but that's the most abstract conversation I think we've ever had. He really does try.
Things have been nice lately. Lots of hugging and affection. I need to start disciplining myself, because as my schedule gets more hectic my sloppy tendencies are coming back. If anyone has wondered why I'm never here, it's because I'm busy with the Italian group. I'm really proud of what we've accomplished so far... in fact here's an update.
Great job on the Italian group! It's nice that you found a hobby that you really enjoy!
Quote: need to start disciplining myself, because as my schedule gets more hectic my sloppy tendencies are coming back
DBing is something that we have to continue pretty much for the rest of our lives, no easy task when things get hectic. As long as you are aware of it you can correct it!
Ciao tutti! Today, I did away with the last remains of the divorce. I cancelled the umbrella liability policy that my H insisted that I have when we were trying to figure out how to split the cars. Regardless, of the cost $600 over two years, I think it was worth every penny to show my H that I was going to take care of my responsibilities and help him get his divorce.
Last night I sorted through my mail to find that H had affixed a sticky to the umbrella policy renewal that said he thought I should cancel it. I put up a bit of an argument that I could still wreck the car, wind up in a coma and leave him with thousands of dollars in liability. (He was not particularly amused that I was still using his line of argumentation on why I needed to get this ridiculous insurance in the first place.) He simply said, "That was different. We were getting a divorce. We're married now." So with my smug point having been made and reasonably deflected, I kissed him on the cheek and told him I would cancel it in the morning.
And so, I think my divorce is officially busted.
Last week, I asked our attorney if I could get the signed divorce papers. She thought it was reasonable that I'd want to keep the records, but seemed a little alarmed when I joked that I was thinking about scrapbooking them. I am thinking about scrapbooking them, in say 30 years, when it will be funny... not now.
Ciao, tutti! I have been absolutely slammed lately. Aren't I the one who ends every post with "take care"? I should have lost my license to say that after the past couple of weeks... stressful work sitch, stressful club sitch, bad drug reaction, no sleep, and a sinus infection. The one bright spot has of course been that wonderful man whom I married... remember him? The one I used to b!+@# about.
Somewhere in the midst of all of my illnesses I had a conflict come to a head in our Italian group.
I have to say that for all of the abuse this woman has dished out at me over the last month, I managed to keep my cool (when she was around) and only respond nicely to her harangues. Initially I took the pounding heart and sleepnessness to be a result of the stress this woman was causing in my life... nope that turned out to be a drug reaction causing me to react even worse to this woman. H spent a lot of time peeling me off of the ceiling, but at least I was so keyed up that I knew better than to try to talk to her. [The day we found out that it was a drug reaction keying me up, H and I started a joking that I was "mentally ill" for the day. It wasn't too far from the truth.]
So... in the midst of all of this turmoil, I was completely shocked when H told me that he thought I needed to tough out the club situation. This was quite a 180 for H, because he used to tell me to quit when I got upset.
Since I am the "leader" of the group, I had to sit the other woman down for a long, grueling talk. Calling people on the carpet is not my strong suit. H, rightly noting that I do not handle confrontation well, spent days coaching me. I can't say it went perfectly, but I did get an apology out of her and she did agree that she should be more careful what she says in e-mails. Of course, it's been four days since then and now she's switched to sending her poison pen letters to H. [rolls eyes] I had a feeling it was too easy.
I was named Organizer of the Week by the website that we run our Italian group through. I was mostly impressed that I was only the third honoree since they started the program. I have been doing a great job with the group; and H has been helping me. In fact, he will be facilitating a very important planning session for us this weekend. Stop the presses!!! We have a common hobby!!! The Italian group takes most of my time nowadays and I probably have some kind of function or meeting or class for it every other day. I try to dedicate a few nights each week to H, so he seems to be okay with my unavailability on the other nights. The housework went downhill this past week, but over the weekend H and I got things cleaned up and I've been energetically keeping things orderly. I also continue to impress H by hiding chocolate around the house, so that he can have some whenever he thinks there is none. Gee, I really am nice.
I hope everyone is doing well... and taking care of themselves. I'm going to bed. Buona notte! --z
The other day I was getting ready for work and went in to ask H how I looked, as I do on most days. On this particular day he said more than, "You look good." He said, "You're my sexy wife." I was puzzled... this comment didn't make any sense to me. I said, "Oh, you just like it because you can see my knees above my boots. He said, "No, it's the whole package." I said, "Oh, thanks." He was absolutely serious and all I could think was "That's not right. My husband doesn't think I'm attractive. He thinks I'm grotesque. He told me so." It's been a couple of years since he's picked apart my physical attributes in justification of his complete lack of desire for me. I just hadn't realized that he'd changed his mind. That's nice.
I'm with Ellie on this one! It's not easy but he has realized that you are what he wants! Way to go! Why is it so easy to believe the horrible things they say to us but not the wonderful things??
It's not easy but he has realized that you are what he wants! Way to go! Why is it so easy to believe the horrible things they say to us but not the wonderful things??