Had an ok weekend. My H stopped friday night and worked nights on Sat. When he gets back Sun morning he normally goes to his mums to sleep but this week he came home and went to bed. All seemed ok until he said he was going to watch the football in the pub sun afternoon then stay out all night. I could have really easily have argued with him - why does this get my back up so much? I think its because I struggle to understand why he would want to sit in a pub all day and all night when he could be sat at home with me and our daughter. It winds me up more when I think that the mates he are with are not married and none of them have kids so fair enough its not like they have anything else to do..
I think this is one of the main issues that is effecting our relationship and ultimately stopping my H from moving back home full time. I do not know what to do for the best. I kind of understand where he is coming from but I do not agree or like the amount of time he spends out in the pub at the moment. I know by having a go at him it just pushes him away but sometimes I cannot help myself. We talked sensibly yesterday and he said he really wanted to come back home full time, but its not the right time at the moment as he would just do my head in!! What does this mean? Is he inferring that he knows that I am not happy with him going out so much but at the moment he is not ready to give this up so if he did come home this would continue and cause issues? He says he really wants to come home but he cant until it feels ready. But what is going to make him feel ready? This could ultimately go on for ever!! Feel a bit despondent today and need some motivation to keep going.
I have been reading your thread and I can kinda relate. It sounds like he is scared of the committment. I know it is hard for you, but keep the faith. I am working on trying to get my wife back home. We are both committed, but realize it takes time. Things need to go slow....unfortunately.Have you both been to counseling? It does work. I am new to DB'ing and actually am just getting started. I am having a hard time taking it slow. W and I really connected this past weekend and really opened up like never before. She is scared of coming back. Scared things won't change and worried about what others think. It only matters what we feel and what is right for our family. I think your H is getting closer. Hang in there! It will happen. Just don't push. Here I am giving advice, but I am guilty of pushing things with my wife. I want her back and I can't stand waiting although I know if we don't fix the issues, it won't work. I think that maybe my W may end up taking her time like your H. I think they both need to get over their fears and do what is in their hearts. If you pray, then keep doing so. Faith does work. If you haven't tried it, then give it a shot. Good luck and keep writing. Give him time and he'll be back. Then you need to figure out how to keep him there. He needs to figure out his heart.
I have had a nightmare week, that went from fantastic to terrible. By wed this week my h had stopped with us for over a week continous. We had talked about us alot and he had inferred that he was ready to move back home etc etc. I tried not to get my hopes up but I really thought from his actions and his words that this was it - he was moving back. Then last night he came home in a completely different mood - said that he was going back to his mums for the night, that he felt things were going too fast and that he was not ready - WHAT!!! I reminded him of all the things he said to me in the week about wanting to move back and feeling happy etc, and he basically either said he could not remember saying them or that I read too mcuh into them... I feel really hurt and upset all over again. I think its just a case of cold feet,and hopefully it will be a short temporary one, but I cannot beleive he led me to believe that he was ready to come home... I have spoken to him this morning trying to be as normal as possible, and he is being really cool with me, he said I was tempremental - god what does he expect!! I know I need to pick myself up a quickyl as poss and get back on track but at this minute I just feel really low.
I know exactly how you feel. My W did the same thing. She led me on to thinking she wanted to work things out and said "things are moving too fast". After a week and a half, she told me she was going overnight with a girlfriend to Michigan and actually she went to Wisconsin with OM. I broke it off for good and she again tried to get me to try it again. This was after she saw me with another woman. I told her no way. She has since fabricated lies against me and filed an order of protection against me. Life does go on and hang in there. Keep the faith.
